MONEY SAVING TIPS

  • Thread starter Thread starter AGinAg (37)
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Those are just a couple of great ideas I found on the Internet, which you can guarantee I'll be using but I bet you MOOPY DIAMONDS have ideas that will keep us ALL in luxury thigh high stockings and chewing gum until Liz comes back and saves us all.
 
Can't afford a ladder? Just kick holes in your wall, which you can use afterwards to place lovely ornaments, like rubble and previously loved children's toys you see in the street.

PRACTICAL AND FASHIONABLE.
 
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Children crying out for chicken but purse strings tight? Pop to your local supermarket with a buggy, find yourself a fat chook, remove the wrapping and pop it in the buggy. If security stop you, tell them it’s your NEW BABY and if they say it looks odd, tell them it came out funny and they’re being DISCRIMINATORY. Threaten to report them and pop home with the winnings to make one of your SIGNATURE DISHES for the weans :disco:
 
Lucille said:
Can’t afford expensive new frillies, but all your current knicks are horribly skiddy? Just dye the lot BROWN, then your lovers will be NONE THE WISER, and in fact rather CHARMED by such a sultry colour choice.
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Telling them that there’s a RTÉ WEATHERGIRL INFLUENCE will also leave them IMPRESSED AND ENTICED and gasping for one of your LEGENDARY DOWNPOURS
 
I did just try to steal a flat screen TV from the bin store (my neighbours love to throw away perfectly serviceable objects), but sadly in this case the TV was broken :(
 
GNL said:
I did just try to steal a flat screen TV from the bin store (my neighbours love to throw away perfectly serviceable objects), but sadly in this case the TV was broken :(
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Guys, not everything will always work. Martin Lewis told me it's best to nick these kind of things straight from people's homes or shops.

Also mugging delivery drivers works quite well.
 
If you don’t want to be waltzing round town with a DANGEROUSLY FULL BUCKET every weekend, why not steal rolls of POO WIPE from your workplace? We’ve ALL done it! Pop one in your bag just before going home and if anyone finds it during an unlikely search at the door, just smile and laugh and say you’re having a PSYCHOTIC BREAKDOWN
 
The classics are always worth repeating.

Can't afford FAIRY LIQUID? Throw your dirty dishes out the window.
 
GNL said:
Struggling to choose between eating and heating? Hot air rises, so set fire to the flat downstairs.
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Fire is SUCH a useful asset in these difficult times. And yes, a neighbourly fire will not ONLY provide the warmth but also get rid of pesky noisy neighbours.
 
Lucille said:
Doing all your poos at work saves massively on bog roll, also holding them all in over the weekend is quite the thrill!
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Or alternatively, if you're a civil servant doing overtime, save up all your poos throughout the week, and then take them all at the weekend when the taxpayer will be paying you double time for them :disco:
 
This thread is welcome

My main money saving tip (shoplifting 2 to 3 lighter items per big shop at the self service check-out) has become SO much harder in the past few months, now everywhere seems to be wising up and installing machines with far more sensitive bagging areas :(. It's leaving me quite out of pocket
 
Struggling with the cost of living? Try alternatives to living, like dying, or moving to Slough.
 
GNL said:
Struggling with the cost of living? Try alternatives to living, like dying, or moving to Slough.
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Hemel Hempstead currently offering free death, which is cheaper than Slough and they run a shuttle service to the death camps.
 
The Unholy Ghost said:
If you don’t want to be waltzing round town with a DANGEROUSLY FULL BUCKET every weekend, why not steal rolls of POO WIPE from your workplace? We’ve ALL done it! Pop one in your bag just before going home and if anyone finds it during an unlikely search at the door, just smile and laugh and say you’re having a PSYCHOTIC BREAKDOWN
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Why not just go in the STREET? It's free and will give you a glamorous continental feel!
 
Finn said:
This thread is welcome

My main money saving tip (shoplifting 2 to 3 lighter items per big shop at the self service check-out) has become SO much harder in the past few months, now everywhere seems to be wising up and installing machines with far more sensitive bagging areas :(. It's leaving me quite out of pocket
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Smart shops don’t have bagging areas. They do random checks sometimes and scan 3 items in your bags to make sure they were included in the shop… but they usually just take 3 from the top, so I’d reckon if you need more than one of something, it would be easy to just scan it once and separate the second item from the first by putting one at the bottom of the bag/trolley, so they would never be picked up together.
 
Ellie said:
Smart shops don’t have bagging areas. They do random checks sometimes and scan 3 items in your bags to make sure they were included in the shop… but they usually just take 3 from the top, so I’d reckon if you need more than one of something, it would be easy to just scan it once and separate the second item from the first by putting one at the bottom of the bag/trolley, so they would never be picked up together.
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What an EXCELLENT tip. I shall download the app and get robbing :disco:

I wonder if shoplifter-in-chief Antony Worrall Thompson has graduated to this method too, after his TESCO SHAME.
 
Ive always found that mis-scanning something while buying alcohol means that the staff just override the unexpected item. Handy for when you need a new PlayStation and a bottle of Malbec.
 
Save money on heating by simply leaving it off until all the mould on the walls forms a layer of insulation
 
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