I ranked Mariah's albums

[dUb]

I did this for a podcast Patreon episode but since I went to all the effort of doing a spreadsheet I'll post the results here

- I just gave every song a mark out of 10 and then got the average
- No deluxe editions or bonus tracks
- Interludes not included unless they're proper full songs like Daydream and Butterfly interludes
- Christmas music not included

What do you think came LAST?

 

[Joseph]

Charmbracelet

 

[K.C.]

If it's Charmbracelet I will be placing sanctions.

 

[Joseph]

If it's Charmbracelet I will be placing sanctions.

You will make it through the rain

 

[dUb]

13. Charmbracelet [7.53]

Now don't get me wrong, I have a lot of love for CHARMIE but compared to everything else, it's just on the wrong side of beige. Lots of great stuff though, and nothing awful as shown by the lowest mark being a 7. I always thought Irresistible was quite crap but it's grown on me. Remember when we were all panicking about how whispery it is, whereas now I'll take that over belt attempts any day. Anyway it's really good because everything she's ever done is.

 

[Joseph]

Sorry @KC 🦋

 

[Sheena]

Well this sounds HINGED

 

[K.C.]

It's definitely the album that sounds the most dated. I've never made it a secret that I like particularly for its contemporary early 2000s production. dUb's rates are about right I think.

 

[dUb]

12. The Emancipation of Mimi [7.57]

 

[dUb]

I love what the album did for her obviously but there's just not much on it that I really love and I don't go back to it that often, unlike the albums further up.

The 'uptempos' all sound quite dated at this point too. We Belong Together is probably an 8 but I marked it up for being Song Of The Decade.

NEXT!

 

[Christian]

We Belong Together is obviously an ELEVEN

 

[dUb]

11. Rainbow [7.58]

Thrown together - and you can tell. Quite the comedown after Butterfly, but lots of FUN TO BE HAD. All 7s and 8s, I used to think Did I Do That? was shit but I've grown rather fond over the years. Heartbreaker was a fun moment, but falls short in comparison to the other lead singles. Bliss is my favourite sex jam of hers but 8 feels about right.

 

[dUb]

We Belong Together is obviously an ELEVEN

I think when something is latched onto by the dreaded General Public, I withdraw.

 

[dUb]

10. Glitter [7.58]

Eagle-eyed viewers will note it has the same average score as Rainbow but as this has songs that got 9, it can go higher. I will forever stan the cacophonous, calamitous Loverboy, especially the Butterfinger My Tangerines edit, and Lead The Way is still fabulous too. The uptempos are mostly very enjoyable and Never Too Far as not as good as it should be. Twister one of her worst songs, sorry Tonjua RIP.

 

[dUb]

9. Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel [7.69]

JUSTICE 4 MORE THAN JUST FRIENDS!! Easily her most underrated and overlooked song. H.A.T.E.U. is a latter half career highlight, and would probably be a 10 if not for the lines where it's clear each word is from a different take.

I've also never quite gotten onboard with Betcha Gon' Know the same way as many others including our dear Loufoque, so sorry about that. I Want To Know What Love Is is a great wail-along but the trauma from the video is with me to this day. Not to mention the H.A.T.E.U. one

 

[Suedehead]

12. The Emancipation of Mimi [7.57]

View attachment 36099
View attachment 36101

View attachment 36100

WTAF!?

 

[Joseph]

H.A.T.E.U. Is a solid TEN for me

 

[Suedehead]

I love MOAIAIA±!!!!!IAIAI!!! but in what world is it better than Emancipation

 

[VV]

I would have included Merry Christmas.

 

[Joseph]

Let him cook

 

[dUb]

8. Mariah Carey [7.82]

I struggle a bit with the first two albums as I came to them a few years after they were released so don't really have any personal connection to them. However, Vision Of Love is of course a big fat ten out of ten, and Vanishing and Love Takes Time are wonderful as well. Maybe I Don't Wanna Cry should have been a 9 as well, but I'm not redoing anything. Prisoner obviously iconic. The other songs are enjoyable but inessential.

 

[dUb]

I would have included Merry Christmas.

Feel free to in your own thread!

 

[K.C.]

Emancipation at 12?! The CHOICES hunny

 

[dUb]

7. Me. I Am Mariah... The Elusive Chanteuse [7.86]

I remember listening to this for the first time feeling really emotional and posting on here about how thrilled I was with the album only for it to immediately sink without trace

Terrible/amazing title, nice enough cover but not as nice as the original, a dreadful single choice in the fever dream that is You're Mine (Eternal) BUT there is so much great stuff on here. Dedicated immediately catapulted into my all-time Mariah Top 10 and has stayed there ever since, and #Beautiful remains tremendous. One More Try is a low point in her career, but never mind. As an album and era, it's a HODGE PODGE but the quality is there.

 

[Sheena]

This is the funniest thread I’ve read ALL YEAR

 

[Sheena]

The TROLLING!

 

[dUb]

6. E=MC² [7.93]

What a time to be a lamb (the start of) this era was. It's absolutely her best collection of uptempos until MC16 comes out. Bop after bop with some relatively forgettable ballads thrown in. Migrate probably would have been huge if not for the foul P*rez H*lton, but such is life. I Wish You Well follows in the tradition of personal songs that she forgot to put much of a tune in. I still think about VoR asking if she was singing "Charlie Brown is my salvation" when I listen to it. Touch My Body is still FAB, and Cruise Control/Side Effects/I'm That Chick still sound as great as ever. She should never have changed the font, but otherwise, mostly a+mazing.

 

[K.C.]

#7 is crazy for Miami Tech. That was the hardest era to be a Mariah stan. We faced severe oppression and scrutiny.

 

[Joseph]

7. Me. I Am Mariah... The Elusive Chanteuse [7.86]

View attachment 36112
I remember listening to this for the first time feeling really emotional and posting on here about how thrilled I was with the album only for it to immediately sink without trace

Terrible/amazing title, nice enough cover but not as nice as the original, a dreadful single choice in the fever dream that is You're Mine (Eternal) BUT there is so much great stuff on here. Dedicated immediately catapulted into my all-time Mariah Top 10 and has stayed there ever since, and #Beautiful remains tremendous. One More Try is a low point in her career, but never mind. As an album and era, it's a HODGE PODGE but the quality is there.

View attachment 36113

I need to listen to this again. I honestly don’t think I’ve played it since the year of release except for #Beautiful

 

[dUb]

5. Emotions [8.00]

I never would have expected this to be as high as it is, what it being one of 'those first two albums', but what's not to like? That was a classic, that was a classic.

 

[dUb]

4. Music Box [8.09]

Yes funky Dreamlover is an 8 and I'm not changing it. This was the album that introduced me to her via my sisters loving it and while in latter years I tried to be sniffy about it and how BLAND IT IS, there's no denying most of this material. Anytime You Need A Friend is always top of my mind when I think about my favourite ever Mariah song and while I could very much live without ever hearing Hero and Without You again, I love everything else. A true 90s BLOCKBUSTER of an album, not everybody has that to their credit.

 

[dUb]

3. Caution [8.20]

Does she dislike this? She certainly had a right old moan about how she felt it was rushed at the time. Whoever convinced her not to try to belt or do ANY HIGH NOTES WHATSOEVER really knew what they were doing. A perfect album for her vocal capabilities at this stage of her career, very much harmed by her choice of With You as the proper first single when The Distance was right there. GTFO never gets old, absolutely one of her best ever songs, and a little dip in quality towards the end aside, it really is a JOY. Still want her to work with Dev Hynes again after the sublime Giving Me Life, but I suppose Anderson .Paak will do for now.

 

[dUb]

2. Daydream [8.33]

The first album of hers I bought (/asked for for Christmas), after my sisters told me they'd gone off her. At the peak of her powers here really, wasn't she, still the ballad queen but with her true personality trying to fight her way out. I remember thinking Looking In was a truly profound piece of art - and it is. Fantasy is the other song that I jump to when considering my all-time favourite, but NOT that crap remix. Melt Away is another one of those overlooked classics, and I Am Free is one of her best wail-alongs. But even if it was just Fantasy 12 times it would still be up this end.

1. Butterfly [8.58]

Obviously.

Her best album and therefore the greatest album of all time.

 

[Loufoque]

The paucity of 10s dished out here is... troubling. Half her back cat is 10+.

But I can fuck with this ranking TBH.

 

[dUb]

The 8s are 10s, the 9s are 12s and the 10s are 15s

 

[Loufoque]

Now that E=MC is, like, nearly twenty years old, I found it fabulous for a throwback. I have recently rediscovered Bye Bye. The rightful second single

 

[Loufoque]

That 7 for Whenever You Call though. I thought you were a ballads and ball gowns girl.

 

[dUb]

That 7 for Whenever You Call though. I thought you were a ballads and ball gowns girl.

I am! That one just never did it for me as much as seemingly everyone else.

 

[Loufoque]

I think Whenever You Call is the pinnacle of her Walter ballads, and a very fitting swan-song (if we ignore Lead The Way, which was a Butterfly cast-off in any case)

 

[dUb]

For me, it’s a little bit too waily, à la Forever/When I Saw You