The Real Housewives of Melbourne (4 Viewers)

I thought Suzy was Series 2 but in hindsight there's no way she was part of the Gamble-Pettifleur cohort, so obviously she was a series 3 ill judged addition.

I KINDA LIKE her though.

Little rank sorry for spoilers @Sardonicus but maybe treat them as TEASERS?

1. Gina
2. Lydia
3. Janet
4. Gamble
5. Pettifleur
6. Sally
7. Chyka
8. Andrea
9. Anjali
10. Cherry
---
Probably some people from the latest series I don't remember
 
I never really bothered with series four, though watched half in the background -but Venus was shit too, wasn’t she?
 
While S4 was a big comedown from S1-3, it still had some great moments. Whereas S5 was just a hot mess. Anjali was AWFUL :zombie:
 
2 episodes into Series 3!

• After the ENTIRE CAST pissed themselves laughing at Pettifleur's fake tears & denials of being TROLLIED at the reunion, Gina's nice enough to offer her an olive branch to have a kindly word & tell her to stop being such a RUDE FUCK - while almost certainly being well aware that she's talking to the WALL. From her ridiculous reunion outbursts, her arse flashing dance at her party at the end of S2, labelling Gamble a black widow & then denying & BSing all the time, to trying to get her poor son to move home after kicking him out with a half arsed performance of "crying", I won't deny she brings the entertainment, despite being AWFUL.

• HOWLING at Janet's ex husband showing up to try convince her he hadn't been unfaithful. I do like Janet, she's blatantly orchestrated this ridiculous "situation" with him for screen time & just like Gina (who I think has an "understanding" with Janet over how things go on screen) he's been game for a laugh.

• Gamble - still quite like her, she's actually got a sweet relationship with her husband & I totally understand her MURDEROUS RAGE towards Pettifleur. Imagine filming with her for multiple hours a day!

• Suzy - bless her, she's showed up, she's trying her best but it's hard to stand out when most of your castmates are this level of CRACKERS.

• Most tolerant & saintly character - Lydia's dog, Mr Figaro.
 
The second the cameras were off, Pettifleur's sister definitely strangled her.
 
FIND HER

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It was the first time that I was aware that there was something wrong between Janet and I...

but it wasn't the first time that I was aware that there was something wrong with Janet.

celebrity apprentice laugh GIF by 9Now
 
• Lydia has clearly stepped up after the second series. Production have likely told her she should get involved more in stirring the pot & she's taken that advice & ran with it. There's been a fair amount of casual racism though that feels uncomfortable - from her treatment of her housekeeper to her comments on Arabs. It's almost played for laughs in a "isn't she dim" way but even for a show like Housewives, it's really not acceptable.

• Gina having a go at Pettifleur was absolutely WARRANTED. "Snap the FUCK out of it!" :disco: You can sense the rest of the cast have had their fill by this point. The tantrums, the lack of any perceptive that she's done wrong despite all her offensive comments, the need to be the centre of attention 24/7. An absolute CHILD. No wonder nobody wants to know her. She suctions all the air out of the room. FOUL.

• I love BRUCE, he's always up for a laugh.

• Suzy. Well, she's there. Loved Gamble breaking the awkward tension at the Dubai desert dinner with a random song :D

• Most intelligent talking head of the entire series: Lydia's dog, Mr Figaro.
 
Let’s hope they give her a strong cast and it won’t be like Janet trying to swim upstream against a bunch of flops.
 
I'm too SHATTERED to gather my thoughts in full since the last time but I couldn't let the following quotes go unsaid:

"At school one of the boys SHIT in my lunchbox. He shat in it" "Well that's a little bit further than what Sally's done"

"Sally can go fuck herself (although I do feel sorry for her as I know she's grieving right now)"

:D :basil:
 
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