Super Blood Wolf Monday

Out with you, foul Monday

Actually it’s alright, apart from the absence of a daily thread

You lot aren’t sparking joy, you LOATHSOME WORMS!!

No not really :)
 
Well, I can't seem to merge threads, even tho' I've done it once before. So we're stuck with this one.
 
Can't believe this is what finally destroyed Diddy's brain, farewell sweet prince :(

Morning! I had one of those shitty nights where it feels like you don't sleep (even though you clearly do), and I have to go to meetings today and tomorrow because my manager's on holiday :argh:
 
My brain is (largely) fine, my feelings were accurate at time of writing :mad: (just not time of posting)

I’ll have to save my topic title for tomorrow
 
COB said:
Morning! I had one of those shitty nights where it feels like you don't sleep (even though you clearly do), and I have to go to meetings today and tomorrow because my manager's on holiday :argh:
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you shall be cursed until you spill the deets on Sweeney Todd :evil:
 
I woke up in the night because I couldn't breathe properly (if that's down to Boots changing my medicine brand then there'll be TROUBLE) and while I was lying there I could hear this TICKING which turned out to be this old alarm clock I'd put in the bedside cabinet. It had been on the windowsill in the bathroom for ages but the battery had run right down and it would only start working occasionally when the sun had been shining strongly on the back of it for a while (look it up electrochemistry fans). So why was it ticking in the dark in a drawer the middle of a really cold night? READERS I THOUGHT MY TIME WAS UP
 
It stopped when I took the battery out. Still SPOOKY though

In other bizarre news the FRUIT FLY is STILL flying around in front of my face endlessly. How is it surviving the cold nights? What is it eating in the office? I thought they only lived for a couple of days. If it didn't fly around quite so erratically and try and fly UP MY NOSE I'd just put it down to my FUCKED EYES but NO IT IS REALLY THERE
 
Star said:
How's your finger @Floppet ?
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Oh it's all better now thankyou. The swelling had gone down by Friday night so I could bend it again and the bruising graduated to the rest of the finger too so it looked a bit manky but has almost gone now. The only weird thing is that it keeps getting cold, the rest of my fingers and thumbs are fine but it just goes really cold for no reason. It warms up OK when I hold it in my warm hand for a few minutes so I'm not going to bother the doctor with it.
 
Floppet said:
Oh it's all better now thankyou. The swelling had gone down by Friday night so I could bend it again and the bruising graduated to the rest of the finger too so it looked a bit manky but has almost gone now. The only weird thing is that it keeps getting cold, the rest of my fingers and thumbs are fine but it just goes really cold for no reason. It warms up OK when I hold it in my warm hand for a few minutes so I'm not going to bother the doctor with it.
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Are you sure you weren't just doing something strange with beetroot?
 
Sometimes I do think what's the least painful bone I could break to justify about 6 weeks off work, but still be able to enjoy sitting around the house watching QVC in my pants?
 
ButterTart said:
Work has given me a hurty brain. I wish I could do something easier, like get a severe spinal injury and live off the sick.
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:D! Oh you’d hate it. Although then again you might not. Just think of all that DLA :disco:
 
lolly said:
Sometimes I do think what's the least painful bone I could break to justify about 6 weeks off work, but still be able to enjoy sitting around the house watching QVC in my pants?
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Treat yourself to an inguinal hernia. You’ll be sliced open like lamb but it’s a guaranteed six weeks off. Also, if you have one, there’s more likelihood of getting one on the other side so that’s TWELVE weeks off :disco:
 
Kate said:
Can you suddenly develop Raynaud’s?
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I actually looked into Raynaud's yesterday but my finger doesn't go white or blue or numb or anything, it just goes really cold like dead flesh but I am able to warm it up again reasonably quickly. Besides, it's been amusing me to go up to people and touch them with the tip of my warm finger and say "warm finger" then touch them with my cold finger and sing "Coldfinger!" a la Shirley Bassey.
 
Zu-Klara said:
Treat yourself to an inguinal hernia. You’ll be sliced open like lamb but it’s a guaranteed six weeks off. Also, if you have one, there’s more likelihood of getting one on the other side so that’s TWELVE weeks off :disco:
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Oh I had one of those when I was 25. Bollock like a space hopper, but a good conversation piece at parties. I wouldn't mind the other one going at some point, but it doesn't seem to be in any rush. Any tips for speeding the process along, PM me bbz.
 
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ButterTart said:
Work has given me a hurty brain. I wish I could do something easier, like get a severe spinal injury and live off the sick.
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Unfortunately spinal degenerative diseases, having discs removed, nerve damage and having no feeling down the sides of your legs doesn't get you the necessary 15 points needed for basic ESA. You're still fit for work if you can press one button on a phone or keyboard even if you're completely trollied on painkillers. You should know this, you work there! :D
 
Floppet said:
Unfortunately spinal degenerative diseases, having discs removed, nerve damage and having no feeling down the sides of your legs doesn't get you the necessary 15 points needed for basic ESA. You're still fit for work if you can press one button on a phone or keyboard even if you're completely trollied on painkillers. You should know this, you work there! :D
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That's depressingly true. The assessment centre we use is up a flight of stairs, and they mark you down just for being able to get up them. We've kicked off about this multiple times.
 
ButterTart said:
That's depressingly true. The assessment centre we use is up a flight of stairs, and they mark you down just for being able to get up them. We've kicked off about this multiple times.
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I read about that somewhere - someone was sanctioned for being unable to get up the stairs and therefore "did not attend", someone else was kicked off because they did get up the stairs. I doubt it was your centre, there's probably a policy of sticking 'em up flights of stairs in places where there's no lift because the Tories are all steaming cat's fannies.
 
ButterTart said:
That's depressingly true. The assessment centre we use is up a flight of stairs, and they mark you down just for being able to get up them. We've kicked off about this multiple times.
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Having attended Mr F's WCA then the subsequent tribunal I can confirm that everybody attending is set up to fail from the outset. Although I did see some lovely shiny crutches attached to a man who had clearly never used them before, he was all over the show, and wheelchairs that hadn't previously seen the light of day in the waiting room.

The Bolton one is in Elizabeth House, next to the Octagon car park. They have stairs too.
 
ButterTart said:
Oh I had one of those when I was 25. Bollock like a space hopper, but a good conversation piece at parties. I wouldn't mind the other one going at some point, but it doesn't seem to be in any rush. Any tips for speeding the process along, PM me bbz.
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:disco: Oh how exciting. MOOPY HERNIA CLUB NOW

Well I think I should share my helpful tips with the group so we can all reap extra leisure time and cash rewards for flopping around at home. The first was, I think, helped along by my shoving a hard plastic lubeless vibrator up my arse at a friend’s house. AS YOU DO
 
Zu-Klara said:
:disco: Oh how exciting. MOOPY HERNIA CLUB NOW

Well I think I should share my helpful tips with the group so we can all reap extra leisure time and cash rewards for flopping around at home. The first was, I think, helped along by my shoving a hard plastic lubeless vibrator up my arse at a friend’s house. AS YOU DO
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I've not got one of those. Do you think sticking a Pepperami up there without taking the cellophane off will do the same job?
 
Back when I was an evil decision maker for the DWP our centre wasn't up stairs, but it was a few miles out of town, and all sorts of assumptions were inferred from somebody being able to get there.

I wasn't really evil, though. ATOS hated me because I was always sending their piece of shit reports back as they were so wildly inconsistent and would blatantly fail at tribunal.
 
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