An orchestra of Wednesdays, playing with my heart

[Sheena]

MORNING!

Just been to the gym for what feels like the SIXTY FOURTH time this week and I'm sure this is not good for me. I ache from PILLAR TO POST.

Still, BINGO tonight.

 

[Shirley]

My SUPPOSEDLY ECO CHEAPO tumble drier has DOUBLED my leccy bill

 

[Sheena]

I got rid of the tumble dryer with the last washing machine upgrade because we tend to just use a HEATED AIRER now, which has revolutionised my life.

Though in fairness, most of the time I just leave it without the heating bit and everything is dry in a couple of days anyway...

 

[octophone]

I'm right fed up with having the team DIMWIT within my earshot. She farts like a fucking rhino as well. I know these things are sent to try us but haven't I suffered enough, God?

 

[Shirley]

There's nobody in the office WELL IT'S ONLY QUARTER PAST NINE so I've put on MALE STRIPPER at all volumes

HEY LOLITA TOUCH ME SQUEEZE ME OOH AHH

 

[Zu]

There's nobody in the office WELL IT'S ONLY QUARTER PAST NINE so I've put on MALE STRIPPER at all volumes

HEY LOLITA TOUCH ME SQUEEZE ME OOH AHH

Darling you might want to make sure that Droopy Drawers doesn’t catch wind of it in the corridor and prance into the office like a horny pony with gunny akimbo

Or THEN AGAIN

 

[Shirley]

My SUPPOSEDLY ECO CHEAPO tumble drier has DOUBLED my leccy bill

Turns out this isn't true, they had billed me for four months instead of the usual three. I THOUGHT THAT OCTOPUS LOOKED SHIFTY

 

[Rita]

I'm right fed up with having the team DIMWIT within my earshot. She farts like a fucking rhino as well. I know these things are sent to try us but haven't I suffered enough, God?

Am I right in saying you work in a busy office? She sits and farts in an office full of people? DISGUSTING.

 

[octophone]

My supposedly eco-friendly washing machine has a dryer built in and it dries with all the success of just popping it next to an asthmatic kitten. It's Glasgow, it's winter, I have limited space, I NEED DRY PANTS!!

 

[octophone]

Am I right in saying you work in a busy office? She sits and farts in an office full of people? DISGUSTING.

Yup. Let's fly. I mean, she apologises and all that but still, a little decorum would NOT go amiss.

 

[Rita]

Yup. Let's fly. I mean, she apologises and all that but still, a little decorum would NOT go amiss.

Poor girl maybe has problems with her gut. Maybe needs to have a word with herself and take a look at her diet. I mean we can not get prissy about her farting, but IN PUBLIC? Never!

 

[Zu]

It’s all very well for the poor windy lamb to be sharing her emissions with colleagues but just imagine the stench and mess if she starts following through

 

[Zu]

I’ll only do it in public after checking that no-one is in earshot, although I do often indulge in a boisterous back door burp on the balcony with absolutely no thought for the neighbours

Mind you, this IS Hackney

 

[Cloud]

Whoaaaa we're halfway there

Day 3 of dry part-of-January. Glad to confirm I don't appear to be alcoholic, despite not being able to remember the last time I went for 2 or more days without booze

 

[Rita]

Whoaaaa we're halfway there

Day 3 of dry part-of-January. Glad to confirm I don't appear to be alcoholic, despite not being able to remember the last time I went for 2 or more days without booze

I haven’t touched a drop since Sunday and woke up this morning feeling achey with a sore throat and catchy cough.

CAN I NOT CATCH A BLOODY BREAK??

 

[Cloud]

I haven’t touched a drop since Sunday and woke up this morning feeling achey with a sore throat and catchy cough.

CAN I NOT CATCH A BLOODY BREAK??

Been fighting off about the same thing. At least we're trying, but RUDE of our bodies not to repay the positive treatment.

 

[Kate]

HAPPY BURPDAY @Indie

 

[big ron]

GUNNY AKIMBO

 

[big ron]

I went to have a look around a WE WORK earlier as they want us to move into their labs. As I walked in there was a topknotted barista making coffee and two people playing PING PONG. Just needed a guy to ride in on a unicorn to complete the hipster trifecta.

Free beer on tap though.

 

[octophone]

We've now got a ping pong table, a pool table, an XBox and a low level basketball hoop in our canteen/"breakout" area. There's also an acoustic guitar. I assume they were envisaging a few choruses of Kum-By-Yah before breakfast or somesuch.

 

[lolly]

Someone's crying indeed

 

[octophone]

It’s all very well for the poor windy lamb to be sharing her emissions with colleagues but just imagine the stench and mess if she starts following through

THANKS FOR THAT.

 

[Zu]

Here comes special guest star Tina Small with a lovely pair of gifts to wish @Indie a very merry birthday

 

[Zu]

THANKS FOR THAT.

You might want to suggest to management that they install some troughs and pans

 

[big ron]

I'm fucking in love with this:

 

[big ron]

I thought it was from the 70s

 

[Zu]

There's also an acoustic guitar. I assume they were envisaging a few choruses of Kum-By-Yah before breakfast or somesuch.

Get your plectrum out and treat everyone to a round of The Musty Odour Of Pierced Rectums. Might as well add to the chorus thereof

 

[Kate]

Gunnies akimbo for Indie

 

[AGinAg (37)]

I got rid of the tumble dryer with the last washing machine upgrade because we tend to just use a HEATED AIRER now, which has revolutionised my life.

Though in fairness, most of the time I just leave it without the heating bit and everything is dry in a couple of days anyway...

I think I've said it before but I love my heated airer.

 

[Cloud]

Time to vacate the canteen, now that the nearby conversation has turned to the finer details of someone's dog mating

 

[Shirley]

Honestly the twatness of some of the academics I have to follow on the work twitter. YES I WONDER WHY POSTING A PICTURE IN JANUARY OF A CREDIT CARD BILL FOR £0.00 YOU WERE SENT DIDN'T "RAISE A LAUGH"

 

[Indie]

Happy birthday @Apocalypt Flyer. not I'm even sure he is here anymore.

 

[Lucille]

Do pubs up there prices in January? I’ve just paid dangerously close to £6 for a pint.

 

[Rita]

Do pubs up there prices in January? I’ve just paid dangerously close to £6 for a pint.

Do you not live in London? I thought that was par for the course round your neck of the woods.

 

[Lucille]

You can still get change from a fiver in some places, although it’s INCREASINGLY RARE. I paid £1.80 when I was up in Wakefield over Christmas! Although I think I ended up drinking TEN.

 

[Cloud]

£3.30/pint in my local *smugs in Northern*

 

[lolly]

I've no idea how much a pint costs in my local. I've no idea where my local even is.

 

[AGinAg (37)]

I can't think the last time I had a pint in a pub.

 

[big ron]

Its £4.60 for a Moretti in my local and I’m Northern

 

[Sheena]

£3.30 for Strongbow, £3.50 for lager, but I do drink poncey ales sometimes which are more expensive. I also drink in a real old man’s pub, so it’s not necessarily representative...