Moopyvision 2010-2019 Round 5: Azerbaijan, Ireland & Slovenia

I think it's fair to say were it not for Ireland's capacity to serve as a COMEDIC MUSE we'd have ALL skipped them this round
 
5th: Can-Linn feat. Kasey Smith - Heartbeat (116pts)

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Now, I can well understand why this has done relatively well among this chamber of horrors, but Christ did I come to LOATH it in Copenhagen that year.

Once again, it's all there on paper, but somehow the execution comes off as so fucking JOYLESS. The name pissed me off as well. Who were Can-Linn when they were at home? A richly deserved early shuttle-bus home.

ERSATZ SHITE, to lend a phrase from much-missed Moopy poster Eileen. But still less offensive than Brendan.

2 x 12 (Raining on Me, Buttertart)
2 x 0 (sewerynsven, Win The Game)
 
Zu-Klara said:
But chéri, look at the ALTERNATIVES! Face of hate Sarah! Blando ballads YEAR IN YEAR OUT! I mean you can see why we might choose a few catchy numbers dished up by a delicious pair of lovelies who may or may not have shared a little intercourse from time to time :disco:
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You didn't need to go there :(
 
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Nobody actually "likes" any of this I'm assuming.

Is this worse than Macedonia? Lithuania? After all of that I struggle to think of a worse nation across the decade, which really is SHAMEFUL for a country who somehow still have the most amount of wins!
 
Apparently Can-Linn are the ones on the right

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Doesn't appear to be much sign of Can-Linn OR 'Kasey' 'Smith' on the social networks NOW
 
Raining On Me said:
Nobody actually "likes" any of this I'm assuming.

Is this worse than Macedonia? Lithuania? After all of that I struggle to think of a worse nation across the decade, which really is SHAMEFUL for a country who somehow still have the most amount of wins!
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Even VoR is clearly struggling here. It's ok love, just tell us who won and let's move on to the Land of Fire :disco:
 
I admit, a part of me IS somewhat looking forward to Niamh Jong-Kavanagh's NORTH KOREAN landslide :D
 
4th: Jedward - Waterline (133pts)

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I've come to really appreciate Jedward in the course of ploughing through this round. Love or loathe them, their entries both feel like they come from an entirely different country (possibly Sweden on an off-year).

The inevitable luck-pushing second go after Lipstick did well in the Contest and became a modest European hit afterwards. Making them actually sing on this one seemed like a bit of a cruel misjudgment, but it's a decent little slice of reheated Scandi-pop all the same.

I'm sure a decent psychotherapist could unpack the symbolism behind the watersports-themed performance for days, but at least somebody evidently threw a bit of money at it. Speaking of, I often wonder where Jedward's income is coming from these days, they still seem to be clinging to the precipice of celebrity. They certainly made a little go a VERY LONG WAY...

2 x 12 (Win The Game, NonEvent)
1 x 0 (Dark Carnival)
 
Apparently Jedward have a net worth of over £6 million. I can ONLY PRESUME they had the sense to get into property while the cash was still flowing

The DICKHEADS
 
Also OMG I can't believe you EASILY PLEASED FAGGOTS threw so many points to Together!

ANYONE'S for a PENNY AND A TICKLE, AREN'T YOU? :rolleyes:
 
3rd: Niamh Kavanagh - It's For You (138pts)

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Speaking of luck-pushing, after an at the time unthinkable run of two consecutive non-qualifiers, Ireland brought in their most celebrated 90s victor to turn the ship around. The result was... a qualified success.

It's a nice song that very much plays to Ireland's strengths - you could definitely build a fruitful drinking game around this one. Which Niamh herself would doubtless be familiar with - the tales of the epic bender she went on after her qualifying night are still discussed in HUSHED TONES in Euronerd circles.

My favourite thing is when she actively laughs at herself in the semi final after she fucks up the glory note. Bless her heart, she was purely in it for the craic and as a fellow alcoholic I can only respect that.

4 x 12 (VoR, sewerynsven, Pingu, Suomi)
1 x 1 (NonEvent)
 
Penelope said:
Also OMG I can't believe you EASILY PLEASED FAGGOTS threw so many points to Together!

ANYONE'S for a PENNY AND A TICKLE, AREN'T YOU? :rolleyes:
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I think someone who gave their twelve to a man who is still clutching his dead girlfriend's corpse should be keeping quieter on this particular subject.
 
I'd have marked Niamh up a point or two if she'd invested in a corset.
 
So it's Jedward the first versus shameless gay pandering. WHO WILL TRIUMPH?
 
dmlaw said:
I think someone who gave their twelve to a man who is still clutching his dead girlfriend's corpse should be keeping quieter on this particular subject.
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I MAY BE A PERVERT but at least I have SOME REFINEMENT TO MY TASTE
 
On the alcoholic front, I do hope they send Linda Martin again before she carks it. Now there’s a SORRY STATE :disco:
 
Jedward failing the first rule of Eurovision cover ups by sending backing singers with even weaker vox than them.
 
dmlaw said:
I think someone who gave their twelve to a man who is still clutching his dead girlfriend's corpse should be keeping quieter on this particular subject.
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GIRLfriend? :side-eye:

Christ Ireland have been full on faggot themed this decade haven't they? And still completely woeful!

If you're going to send one, at least get a Sergey
 
Zu-Klara said:
In fact just send the corpse. Few backing vocalists, handful of fairy lights, few lasers, G:son roped in against his will to wheel out more of the usual. NO-ONE WILL NOTICE!
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In fact that instantly sounds better than any of THIS BOLLOCKS!
 
Shameless gay pandering for me please

Although I do have a folder brimful o’ JEDWARD XXX PICS to share in the event of them winning :horny:
 
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2nd: Jedward - Lipstick (167pts)

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I'm fairly sure humourless 2011 VoR was OUTRAGED when these X Factor chancers got the call for Eurovision, but in retrospect it was a canny move. I'd say Waterline is a better song, but Lipstick absolutely plays better to their strengths (mostly by letting them shout their way through it).

Look at that stage show too! Somebody actually thought about it! I've said all I have to say about Jedward in the previous post, but this was really VERY GOOD and deservedly crushed Blue under foot. Had they not been up against Eric Saade for pop banger votes, this could have been even more of a contender.

3 x 12 (Ill Advised, Kevin, Superstylin')
1 x 0 (Jacques)

1st: Ryan O'Shaughnessy - Together (181pts)

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To be honest Moopy, I didn't see this one coming. I guess it's the best example of on-brand Ireland in this lineup? I mean, it's essentially the mirror image of Brendan Murray's performance in that the vocal is the right side of chipmunk and the homosexual lovers are still alive.

Briefly restored dignity to an increasingly beleaguered Ireland, although a slightly unexpected qualification did cause the pundits to go a BIT NUTS and briefly proclaim it the favourite for the win. Thankfully Europe made a different choice, but I wouldn't hate it if Ireland returned to this template a bit more regularly. It's a flattering look for them, when it works.

7 x 12 (lolly, Zu Klara, Ag, Jacques, Alla, dmlaw, SDF)
 
All this talk of dog sex hasn't HALF reminded me of the sordid tales of furries who use
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instead of
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"She's got her LIPSTICK ON, here I COME, da da DUM" INDEED :eyes:

NOT TO PASS COMMENT on how Jedward spend their free time mind, although those vocals were quite a YELPING TEST
 
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