Moopyvision 2010-2019 Round 6: Armenia, Iceland & Moldova

[Penelope]

I've just heard on the wireless that Storm Ciara has TAKEN ZU'S HEROIN

 

[octophone]

If you think what's happened during the day is bad, think about what's going to happen with Ciara nightly...

 

[Dark Carnival]

I can’t even complain about cancelling rimming sessions for this this time when no one is willing to go out in 130 km/h winds

 

[lolly]

I can’t even complain about cancelling rimming sessions for this this time when no one is willing to go out in 130 km/h winds

I'm just going to stick my face out of the front door and wait for someone's arse to be inadvertently blown into it.

 

[ButterTart]

Perhaps @Suomi would like to stir a few pots while we’re waiting

Goodness knows @ButterTart’s Superkings won’t last forever and if he has to go out for more, he’ll almost certainly DROWN!

Luckily the Biblical rain has dislodged the offie from its foundations, and its just floated past my house. Managed to grab a few packs of fags despite the shopkeeper and his family clawing at my arms and begging for help. I've no time for their problems when I've got Olia Tira's final placing in the Moldova ranking to worry about.

 

[Dark Carnival]

 

[ButterTart]

So many people may have DIED due to this.

I actually don't know ANYONE who's still alive.

 

[Zu]

Luckily the Biblical rain has dislodged the offie from its foundations, and its just floated past my house. Managed to grab a few packs of fags despite the shopkeeper and his family clawing at my arms and begging for help. I've no time for their problems when I've got Olia Tira's final placing in the Moldova ranking to worry about.

! THAT’S THE SPIRIT!

 

[octophone]

Luckily the Biblical rain has dislodged the offie from its foundations, and its just floated past my house. Managed to grab a few packs of fags despite the shopkeeper and his family clawing at my arms and begging for help. I've no time for their problems when I've got Olia Tira's final placing in the Moldova ranking to worry about.

!

 

[Alla]

Can we have some interval acts? I hope this lasts longer than San Remo.

 

[Penelope]

I can’t even complain about cancelling rimming sessions for this this time when no one is willing to go out in 130 km/h winds

Not even a FULL DELUXE TITS N FISTS session? Well if you WILL scrimp in this weather

 

[AGinAg (37)]

I saw they sounded a WW2 siren somewhere earlier in the north. I do think they could have played 'My Lucky Day' instead as promo for this hot event.

 

[Penelope]

I thought I heard an air raid siren earlier but it was JUST CRISTINA SCARLAT

 

[Zu]

I saw they sounded a WW2 siren somewhere earlier in the north. I do think they could have played 'My Lucky Day' instead as promo for this hot event.

I’d say. Not very catchy, is it?

 

[Dark Carnival]

I thought I heard an air raid siren earlier but it was JUST CRISTINA SCARLAT

 

[Zu]

Can we have some interval acts? I hope this lasts longer than San Remo.

Darling nothing lasts longer than THAT. Even the Reconquista was over and done with in less time

 

[VoR]

Armenia

9th: Dorians - Lonely Planet (27pts)

If there's an audio equivalent to being stuck on a joyless, overcrowded, massively delayed train while nursing a hangover, this denim-clad dirge is probably it.

Having sat out the 2012 competition due to concerns that anybody they did send to Baku might be subject to unfortunate 'accidents' involving faulty brakes, poisoned kebabs or multiple stab wounds to the face and chest, one might think the Armenians would come back all guns blazing in an effort to even the score.

Unfortunately, Armenia made another choice. I may be wrong, but I *think* this is the only non-Russian song I've ever heard get loudly booed just for qualifying. Putting this heterosexual nonsense in over poor plucky Valentina was very much not giving the gays everything they wanted, and they made their feelings loud and clear.

1 x 12 (Suomi)
12 x 0 (VoR, Pingu, Jacques, Buttertart, Alla, Kevin7, David_5000, Penelope, Ag, Kevin, Ill Advised, Kalabaliken)

 

[Dark Carnival]

OMG let's go then!

 

[Penelope]

OMG she's ALIVE

And @Suomi, frankly, has some QUESTIONS TO ANSWER

 

[Dark Carnival]

Living for the Cicciolina look, Pen

 

[AGinAg (37)]

Suomi is so full of self hate.

 

[Zu]

Did @Suomi vote while he was merrily pedalling on his TROLL TRIKE?

PERVERT

 

[Penelope]

And no, you're not getting an Instagram update on Dorians on your LIFE

 

[Dark Carnival]

Oh! Just noticed that 12! Suomi?

 

[Dark Carnival]

And no, you're not getting an Instagram update on Dorians on your LIFE

I'll go on with my life just fine I reckon.

 

[Alla]

One of the worst qualifiers ever, dreadful.

 

[dmlaw]

Thank goodness. I was concerned that VoR may have been shanked in a vicious dispute involving a charging socket.

 

[Kevin]

Armenia

9th: Dorians - Lonely Planet (27pts)

If there's an audio equivalent to being stuck on a joyless, overcrowded, massively delayed train while nursing a hangover, this denim-clad dirge is probably it.

Having sat out the 2012 competition due to concerns that anybody they did send to Baku might be subject to unfortunate 'accidents' involving faulty breaks, poisoned kebabs or multiple stab wounds to the face and chest, one might think the Armenians would come back all guns blazing in an effort to even the score.

Unfortunately, Armenia made another choice. I may be wrong, but I *think* this is the only non-Russian song I've ever heard get loudly booed just for qualifying. Putting this heterosexual nonsense in over poor plucky Valentina was very much not giving the gays everything they wanted, and they made their feelings loud and clear.

1 x 12 (Suomi)
12 x 0 (VoR, Pingu, Jacques, Buttertart, Alla, Kevin7, David_5000, Penelope, Ag, Kevin, Ill Advised, Kalabaliken)

Gordon, one of De Toppers, said this was so much better than Birds. I’m sure he wasn’t bitter at all.

 

[Zu]

unfortunate 'accidents' involving faulty brakes, poisoned kebabs or multiple stab wounds to the face and chest

 

[ButterTart]

I've just called the police on Suomi, and I've told them he's armed. He'll thank me in the long run.

 

[VoR]

8th: Genealogy - Face The Shadow (47pts)

HOT TIP: If you pay close attention to the lyrics of this song, you may be able to pick up on a subtle hidden message.

Yes yes, it's all very sad and all, but HONESTLY, as if the indignity of being ethnically cleansed wasn't bad enough, did the war dead of Armenia really deserve to have this racket inflicted on their memories as well?

A beguiling combination of painfully earnest and unlistenably over-sung, this is like the moment in a bad West End musical when you realise you'd pay the cost of your ticket all over again to bail out now and have a wank back at the hotel instead.

Grim.

2 x 6 (Ag, Pingu)
4 x 0 (Suomi, Raining on me, dmlaw, lolly)

 

[Penelope]

He's not joking! https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gurgen_Margaryan

 

[Penelope]

Oh as IF that was why you were dying to have a wank during Cats @VoR

 

[Zu]

Some of these Armenian ones really were dreadful. I did wonder why I couldn’t remember most of them

 

[D5K]

I never understand why countries keep coming back to the International Supergroup idea. It only ever ends up with six egos trying to shout over each other.

 

[Alla]

I may be wrong, but I *think* this is the only non-Russian song I've ever heard get loudly booed just for qualifying.

Not quite.

4'30"

 

[dmlaw]

Well, that's two out of three truly dreadful entries covered. Knowing how much you lot like inexplicable boxing based staging, I worry that the other one might do quite well.

 

[VoR]

7th: Emmy - Boom Boom (59pts)

Following five consecutive top ten finishes, the first chink in Armenia's Eurovision armour turned out to be a big one. I'm not sure which local drug lord's daughter Emmy was specifically, but suffice to say she did not make it to the Eurovision stage based on her undeniable TALANT.

I'll say this for her, I appreciate the enthusiasm following the previous two dirges. Some might say attempting a glory note when you're certifiably tone deaf might be ill advised, but to that I say no guts, no glory.

Sadly in this case she sounded like she was on the verge of coughing up the former, and there was scant trace of the latter when this became Armenia's first ever NQ.

3 x 8 (Raining on Me, Wurst, lolly)
3 x 0 (Win the Game, Zu Klara, Superstylin')

 

[Alla]

Oh god, Boom boom was really bad. She was obsessed with the idea of chaka chaka having a sexual meaning in different languages, bless her.

 

[Dark Carnival]

Oh I thought that would do a lot better around these parts