Moopyvision 2010-2019 Round 7: Belarus, Finland & The Netherlands

God, I gave that a 1, everything about Paradise Oskar is awful. It doesn't help a female eurofan that I detest (surely VoR and Kala know her, but no names) was obsessed with him, and ended up fucking with him during the contest. Disgusting.
 
VoR said:
9th: Paradise Oskar - Da Da Dam (45pts)

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45 points! I genuinely hoped this might be a contender for our first ZERO, and that's with it sharing a semi with PKN.

Utterly repugnant faux-woke nonsense from a half-hearted sketch of Ed Sheeran. I've had to swallow some pretty questionable lyrics in my years of Eurovision looning, but this one still makes my toes curl.

I hope he cried on the plane all the way back to Helsinki. Tosser.

2 x 8 (Jacques, dmlaw)
6 x 0 (Pingu, VoR, Ag, wurst, Raining on Me, Kevin)
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One of, if not the, worst of the decade. The combination of this song and him is unbearable.
 
That Oskar song is so so horrible to endure and exactly why the screaming punk apeing thing should be higher
 
8th: Darude - Look Away (68pts)

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On paper, hiring early 00s trance legend Darude should have been a stroke of genius for Finland. He literally could have just slightly remixed Sandstorm and gotten a few nostalgic points from burned out club gays all over Europe.

Instead we got this MOR drivel, which really is the epitome of failing to read the room. Almost quite literally pointless.

4 x 6 (Buttertart, Raining on me, Alla, Ag)
3 x 1 (Jacques, Ill Advised, wurst)
 
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Alla said:
God, I gave that a 1, everything about Paradise Oskar is awful. It doesn't help a female eurofan that I detest (surely VoR and Kala know her, but no names) was obsessed with him, and ended up fucking with him during the contest. Disgusting.
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OMG WHO?
 
VoR said:
8th: Darude - Look Away (68pts)

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On paper, hiring early 00s trance legend Darude should have been a stroke of genius for Finland. He literally could have just slightly remixed Sandstorm and gotten a few nostalgic points from burned out club gays all over Europe.

Instead we got this MOR drivel, which really is the epitome of failing to read the room. Almost quite literally pointless.
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If they'd have just sent Superman, NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED.
 
Oh who cares about Darude. Nice enough (and quite BANGING for the last minute and a half) but otherwise if you're going to do Greta Thunberg at Eurovision to make it clear you really need the lyrics of, well, DA DA DAM
 
Why would you send a local star to Eurovision whose biggest hit was an instrumental? That would be like the UK deciding to send Acker Bilk.

I hope I haven't just given the BBC an idea. Thank goodness he's dead.
 
dmlaw said:
Why would you send a local star to Eurovision whose biggest hit was an instrumental? That would be like the UK deciding to send Acker Bilk.

I hope I haven't just given the BBC an idea. Thank goodness he's dead.
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Acker Blik already did the 1977 interval performance (FROM A PUB!) when everyone else was on strike :basil:
 
7th: Sandja - Sing It Away (94pts)

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BRAP BRAP BRAP :zombie:

Proof that lesbians have NO PLACE at Eurovision (sorry Tetris-Rock), this isn't the worst Jess Glynne album track on paper, but everything about the presentation really renders it thoroughly unvotable. The combination of the Mr Whippy hair and that vile jumpsuit are bad enough, but throw in the aggressive facial expressions and the way she grunts her way though it as though she's straining through a particularly stubborn shit and you've got a recipe for NO THANKS.

Finland really are at their worst when they shoot for generic.

1 x 12 (Alla)
1 x 0 (Dark Carnival)
 
dmlaw said:
Why would you send a local star to Eurovision whose biggest hit was an instrumental? That would be like the UK deciding to send Acker Bilk.

I hope I haven't just given the BBC an idea. Thank goodness he's dead.
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VoR said:
7th: Sandja - Sing It Away (94pts)

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BRAP BRAP BRAP :zombie:

Proof that lesbians have NO PLACE at Eurovision (sorry Tetris-Rock), this isn't the worst Jess Glynne album track on paper, but everything about the presentation really renders it thoroughly unvotable. The combination of the Mr Whippy hair and that vile jumpsuit are bad enough, but throw in the aggressive facial expressions and the way she grunts her way though it as though she's straining through a particularly stubborn shit and you've got a recipe for NO THANKS.

Finland really are at their worst when they shoot for generic.

1 x 12 (Alla)
1 x 0 (Dark Carnival)
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YUCK
 
Say YAY! really outcompeted Sing It Away on every metric that year.

NOT THAT THE VOTERS THAT SEMI WOULD'VE KNOWN
 
I have a soft spot for Da Da Dam as 2011 was probably one of my greatest Eurovision viewing experiences. I watched it at the house of a lesbian couple I barely knew, and their unapologetically regimented hosting combined with Kati Wolf, Jedward, Eric Saade and then such a closely run race in the voting (for me a lot of this was about Sweden finally getting to do well after so many years of disappointing results, culminating in the Bergendahl Nacht the year prior) meant that it was just a really lovely experience. I remember going out onto the roof after the voting and just getting a rush of euphoria, I guess pre-empting one of the following year’s most historic and glorious entries ever, La La Love.

Anyway, the lesbian hosts made us all hold hands and form a circle singing Da Da Dam everytime someone wanted to go home. I can’t really remember much else except something about a microchip and signing some sort of eternal life contract, but it’s not what is said that you remember is it? It’s how you felt.
 
Suomi said:
I have a soft spot for Da Da Dam as 2011 was probably one of my greatest Eurovision viewing experiences. I watched it at the house of a lesbian couple I barely knew, and their unapologetically regimented hosting combined with Kati Wolf, Jedward, Eric Saade and then such a closely run race in the voting (for me a lot of this was about Sweden finally getting to do well after so many years of disappointing results, culminating in the Bergendahl Nacht the year prior) meant that it was just a really lovely experience. I remember going out onto the roof after the voting and just getting a rush of euphoria, I guess pre-empting one of the following year’s most historic and glorious entries ever, La La Love.

Anyway, the lesbian hosts made us all hold hands and form a circle singing Da Da Dam everytime someone wanted to go home. I can’t really remember much else except something about a microchip and signing some sort of eternal life contract, but it’s not what is said that you remember is it? It’s how you felt.
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Oh. I watched it with a Luxembourgisch lesbian who kept on squawking "SHUT UP YOU BORE I CAN'T HEAR THE TV" when I was dispensing my witty comments that year

Given I was DUMB AND 21 she may have been RIGHT for all I know though
 
6th: Pernilla Karlsson - När jag blundar (104pts)

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I see you, Shirley Clamp.

A fun quirk of Finnish culture is their sizeable minority of 'Finnosvensks' - Finns for whom Swedish is a first language. Every now and again, they seem to latch onto the Finnish national selection and essentially steal it. Not unlike the way there's always some talented Scottish prick in the finals of any given season of X Factor.

That said, they used their powers for good this year, sending precisely one more post 1998 song in the Swedish language to Eurovision than actual Sweden did.

Predictably I am all over this mopey shit, which is a very lyrically sweet ode to Pernilla's mother. It got surprisingly close to qualifying, although to this day I worry about her lower back with that posture.

Pretty, but stubbornly non-competitive.

3 x 12 (VoR, Suomi, Ill Advised)
1 x 1 (David_5000)
 
Alla said:
I couldn't give a shit abut any of these songs, it's not like my other 12s.
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I would have assumed that you would try and work out what Saara Aalto's main competition would be and give the 12 to that.
 
Did Zu actually forget the password AGAIN? :square: Darling, you can use any of your FIFTY aliases. x
 
dmlaw said:
I would have assumed that you would try and work out what Saara Aalto's main competition would be and give the 12 to that.
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I don't cheat or do tactical votes, thank you very much. I obviously gave a low score to that abomination, but it wasn't in the bottom 3, I was fair.
 
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