Eye of Wednesday give me sight beyond sight

I’m choosing to read the topic title as a Boney M lyric, which is perking next up immensely
 
After the thrill of taking the car into the garage yesterday, today is looking positively barren

I've got an online PT session at midday and other than that, NADA

It's lovely and sunny though, so I think I'll start off with a long walk before anything else
 
Oh it's April Fool's Day

Is any cunt having a go at a 'prank' in this climate?
 
working from home is actually not that bad... I can walk the streets freely though unlike most of you lot

I think I will go out and treat myself to some CHOICE CHEESES today
 
Well, the senior leaders have decided that the best way to reward a skeleton staff of stressed, dangerously overworked people making their way into the office every day while the country is in lockdown, would be to introduce personal PERFORMANCE TARGETS to ensure that we’re put under even more pressure. It’s a timely reminder that, despite all of the mealy mouthed ‘wellness’ e-mails we get, they have nothing but contempt for us and our mental health. A sudden surge in the number of people going into self-isolation from this office is imminent.
 
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ButterTart said:
Well, the senior leaders have decided that the best way to reward a skeleton staff of stressed, dangerously overworked people making their way into the office every day while the country is in lockdown, would be to introduce personal PERFORMANCE TARGETS to ensure that we’re put under even more pressure. It’s a timely reminder that, despite all of the mealy mouthed ‘wellness’ e-mails we get, they have nothing but contempt for us and our mental health. A sudden surge in the number of people going into self-isolation from this office is imminent.
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Tell them to get fucked.
 
I've been PARTICULARLY ENJOYING the work of Shirley Bassey this morning.
 
Indie said:
"WE CARE ABOUT YOUR MENTAL AND PHYSICAL WELLBEING"

maybe hire more staff and reduce workloads?

"NO, NOT LIKE THAT, HAVE YOU TRIED COLOURING IN?"
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Our place brought in a Mindfulness teacher. For 6 sessions. In 2016.

They then built a special "quiet area" which was immediately infested by people making phone calls and is currently roped off.

"have u tried yoga?" SHIT OFF ( © Sheena)
 
Other notable celebrations today include freshly minted celebrity gay Phil Schofield and the original 1460 Dr Marten boot.
 
Indie said:
And yes, happy birthday @big ron

What a shit time to have a birthday. :)
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Yes, but I've been planning to rent the field we hired for Ron Jrs birthday last year for a 3 day festival of forgotten birthdays once this is all over. I'll be accruing a lot of fun interest between then and now.
 
That said, I have a tub full of weed brownies, a nice bottle of Irish Whiskey and 3 grams of ket to tuck into, so it won't be that shit.
 
Mr L's birthday today as well. I'm trying to convinced him that going to the supermarket for ingredients for his favourite dinner isn't essential, so he'll have to have spaghetti hoops on toast instead.
 
HAPPY BIRTHDAY RONALD and Mr L

It's my friend Freaky Pete's 40th too. And mine on Friday :(
 
Ag said:
I see @Rachey is has been furloughed. Are we to expect more appearances?
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Doesn't she only ever come on here during her work day? I think she has far too much going on in her social life to bother.

Which is an IRONIC twist of fate no one saw coming.
 
Indie said:
"WE CARE ABOUT YOUR MENTAL AND PHYSICAL WELLBEING"

maybe hire more staff and reduce workloads?

"NO, NOT LIKE THAT, HAVE YOU TRIED COLOURING IN?"
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It’s pretty much exactly that.

“Make time to talk to your colleagues.”

I HAVE. We’ve swapped opinions on what a shower of tone deaf CUNTS you are for applying strict targets to an office with less than a third of its regular staff available.
 
ButterTart said:
“Make time to talk to your colleagues.”

I HAVE. We’ve swapped opinions on what a shower of tone deaf CUNTS you are for applying strict targets to an office with less than a third of its regular staff available.
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lolly said:
I see civil service middle management hasn't moved on in the last 12 years since I left. Shower of cunts.
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Just want to point out that those weren't "like" Likes, more an appreciation for the robust yet entirely appropriate turns of phrase employed therein.
 
Lucille said:
Ooooh I found EGGS!
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I'd almost completely forgotten they were a THING, so wasn't even looking for them in Lidl yesterday. I almost WEPT when I saw a reasonably stocked self.

Actually that's decided it for me. The spaghetti hoops will keep. We'll have a frittata for birthday lunch. I can use up those last few half manky mushrooms in it as well.
 
I woke up feeling VERY ROTTEN. Then I remembered it's early hayfever season which always shits me over now until the trees have done their business.
 
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