Moopyvision 2010-2019 Round 13: Bosnia & Herzegovina, Montenegro, Slovakia & Turkey

[dmlaw]

The thing is that all of these Montinegrin songs are terrible. At least Heaven is fun and terrible.

 

[Penelope]

A clear Barbara Dex winner if there ever was one.

I always tried to get angry on Inje's behalf at just how badly it did, but the fact I can't even remember how it goes now taught me I was really on a hiding to nothing there

 

[Alla]

Is my 0 gonna win here too?

 

[Penelope]

And gosh, doesn't he look so SICKLY!

 

[ButterTart]

Guys it's fine, BOTH your music tastes are terrible

We're arguing about who has the worst music taste in a EUROVISION FORUM . We're effectively living in a glass semi-detached and seeing which of us has the most high-end slingshot.

 

[Alla]

Right now I would do him even with that dress.

 

[ButterTart]

5th: Vanja Radovanović - Inje (96pts)

Big Balkan Ballads(™) are not exactly renowned for their envelope-pushing qualities, but it really is remarkable how much everything about this one is literally just 'Adio' in a different colour scheme.

Ole' collagen Knez at least radiated a sort of sinister approximation of star quality though (of which more later), whereas poor old Miss Vanja just looks washed out. I defy anyone to hum the melody of this once it's over either, and I'm usually a sucker for this kind of thing.

It forever baffles me that at some point there was a fitting for the suit, and the decision was made that yes, this was the one to go with... I'm talking around the song of course, but honestly, there's NOTHING there. Who hurt you, Montenegro?

1 x 12 (dmlaw)
2 x 1 (Win the Game, Pingu)

Jesus, he looks just like Munch from Two Pints of Lager.

 

[Dark Carnival]

I'm having to listen to these songs as they come up because there really is no way of remembering how any of them go with just the act name and song title.

 

[Penelope]

We're arguing about who has the worst music taste in a EUROVISION FORUM . We're effectively living in a glass semi-detached and seeing which of us has the most high-end slingshot.

Excuse me - some of us listen to refined high culture. Like Space by Slavko Kalezic

 

[ButterTart]

I'm having to listen to these songs as they come up because there really is no way of remembering how any of them go with just the act name and song title.

Not being able to remember how they go is a blessing. Don't squander it.

 

[ButterTart]

Excuse me - some of us listen to refined high culture. Like Space by Slavko Kalezic

Oh CHRIST. I forgot that Jabba's Palace nightmare was still to come.

 

[Soldi]

Oh CHRIST. I forgot that Jabba's Palace nightmare was still to come.

I remember WIWI WILLIAM was telling everyone how well he was going to do only for him to not qualify

“it was art, it was ART”

 

[Penelope]

It WAS art!

 

[Alla]

I remember WIWI WILLIAM was telling everyone how well he was going to do only for him to not qualify

“it was art, it was ART”

I still don't know how that name is not censored here, you're lucky Kala is not around

 

[VoR]

4th: Sergej Ćetković - Moj Svijet (115pts)

God, what a disorienting leap in quality

One of the reasons Montenegro tend to land at the more extreme end of shit when it comes to their Contest entries may well be a San Marino-esque shallow pool of talent, minus the Sammarinese sugar daddy complex that allowed foreigners with more money than sense to bankroll them into the finals a couple of times. For all their flaws, Montenegro manage to combine being only about the same size as Sheffield with stubbornly sending local artists.

They finally landed a competent one in 2014 with national treasure Sergej Ćetković, who duly delivered their first ever qualifier. It's easy to lump this in as An.other Balkan ballad, but if anything this is more of a folky Celtic number with Balkan influences, a genre blend that winds up working out pretty well.

Anyway I like this, the lyrics are terribly sweet, it's clearly sincere and my poor sentimental heart can't resist that last chorus when the backing vocalists join him onstage for a little moment of collective triumph. It's almost enough to make you forgive them for almost everything that came before or since, isn't it?

1 x 12 (sewerynsven)
1 x 1 (Superstyin')

 

[Penelope]

Oh god I had it in my head for DAYS after the voting, and half wish I'd given it more now. It's just so piercingly LOVELY

 

[ButterTart]

I remember WIWI WILLIAM was telling everyone how well he was going to do only for him to not qualify

“it was art, it was ART”

They really are ALLERGIC to anything decent, aren't they? My rule of thumb is that if WiWiBloggs like it, it must be Mein Kampf: The Musical so steer well clear.

Was it them who picked On A Sunday for Romania last year instead of that adorable little homophobic toddler with the opera song about wanting to fuck her Dad?

 

[Penelope]

Was it them who picked On A Sunday for Romania last year instead of that adorable little homophobic toddler with the opera song about wanting to fuck her Dad?

And by some accounts had a SHITLOAD OF MONEY ON THE OUTCOME TOO

 

[Soldi]

They really are ALLERGIC to anything decent, aren't they? My rule of thumb is that if WiWiBloggs like it, it must be Mein Kampf: The Musical so steer well clear.

Was it them who picked On A Sunday for Romania last year instead of that adorable little homophobic toddler with the opera song about wanting to fuck her Dad?

Oh wasn’t that a SCANDAL as they were on the jury and when they reacted to On A Sunday HATED IT, yet suddenly loved it and threw their DOUZE at them. I know this year they were saying in their videos that MOLDOVA would do a TOP 5

 

[ButterTart]

4th: Sergej Ćetković - Moj Svijet (115pts)

God, what a disorienting leap in quality

One of the reasons Montenegro tend to land at the more extreme end of shit when it comes to their Contest entries may well be a San Marino-esque shallow pool of talent, minus the Sammarinese sugar daddy complex that allowed foreigners with more money than sense to bankroll them into the finals a couple of times. For all their flaws, Montenegro manage to combine being only about the same size as Sheffield with stubbornly sending local artists.

They finally landed a competent one in 2014 with national treasure Sergej Ćetković, who duly delivered their first ever qualifier. It's easy to lump this in as An.other Balkan ballad, but if anything this is more of a folky Celtic number with Balkan influences, a genre blend that winds up working out pretty well.

Anyway I like this, the lyrics are terribly sweet, it's clearly sincere and my poor sentimental heart can't resist that last chorus when the backing vocalists join him onstage for a little moment of collective triumph. It's almost enough to make you forgive them for almost everything that came before or since, isn't it?

1 x 12 (sewerynsven)
1 x 1 (Superstyin')

This is jarringly competent for Montenegro. It still leaves me completely cold but I love the country so I'll not begrudge them.

 

[Penelope]

Yeah there's always a strong WHIFF OF MINSK about their invariable Kirkirov loves each year

 

[win_the_game]

Most of the Eurovision sites are full of GAY HYPERBOLE for some reason.

I can’t remember which one it was exactly but there was a site proclaiming SAFURA of Drip Drop fame to be the saviour of modern pop music. A true talent for the ages.

 

[Alla]

Most of the Eurovision sites are full of GAY HYPERBOLE for some reason.

I can’t remember which one it was exactly but there was a site proclaiming SAFURA of Drip Drop fame to be the saviour of modern pop music. A true talent for the ages.

Well she almost drowned for Eurovision, that's dedication.

 

[ButterTart]

Most of the Eurovision sites are full of GAY HYPERBOLE for some reason.

I can’t remember which one it was exactly but there was a site proclaiming SAFURA of Drip Drop fame to be the saviour of modern pop music. A true talent for the ages.

She was a pioneer. Who else but Safura would be audacious enough to sing the line 'you smell like lipstick again', when 'perfume' has the same number of syllables and ACTUALLY SMELLS OF SOMETHING? A true visionary.

 

[Soldi]

Where did @VoR go? Montenegro’s a bigger killer than corona at this rate

 

[ButterTart]

Where did @VoR go? Montenegro’s a bigger killer than corona at this rate

He volunteers for a youth outreach programme* every weekend, so he may be otherwise engaged.

*He goes to the off licence for the kids on the estate, and makes a cool 50p on every Bacardi Breezer he buys them.

 

[Lucille]

I know this year they were saying in their videos that MOLDOVA would do a TOP 5

NOT COMPLETELY AGAINST THAT.

 

[Alla]

Where did @VoR go?

Narcolepsy. He'll be back.

 

[Soldi]

He volunteers for a youth outreach programme* every weekend, so he may be otherwise engaged.

*He goes to the off licence for the kids on the estate, and makes a cool 50p on every Bacardi Breezer he buys them.

Social distancing

 

[Lucille]

Poor VoR, when he actually DOES DIE one day, no one will think to raise the alarm.

 

[ButterTart]

Social distancing

Oh they don't go anywhere near him, he opens them and they use really long straws.

 

[VoR]

3rd: Slavko Kalezić - Space (161pts)

As we discussed in our Bosnia round (remember that?) concerning the cautionary gay tale of Deen, the Balkans have a strange old relationship with homosexuality. On the one hand, Montenegro has virtually no legal protections in place for LGBT people, and on a societal level virulently homophobic views are deeply ingrained. On the other, in 2017 they sent this.

I was delighted beyond words to discover last night that one of Slavko's earliest claims to fame was 'chubby beard for Marija Serifovic'.

Can you feel the white-hot sexual chemistry?

Having closed the book on that chapter and emerged with the traditional post-coming out gym rat glow up, Slavko was serving ill-advised TOWIE supporting player single release realness with this agreeable slice of cod-Disco. His biggest mistake, alas, was believing he could sell it all with nothing more than a rat-tail and a dream, when clearly this was a song that virtually demands an onstage orgy. The vocals faded faster than Mama Kalezić's hopes of grandchildren, and the whole thing landed with a whimper rather than a bang. Shame, this is a lot of fun on record and fair whiffs of unrealised potential.

5 x 12 (Tischlampe, Penelope, Dark Carnival, Pingu, Alla)
1 x 1 (Buttertart)

 

[ButterTart]

Poor VoR, when he actually DOES DIE one day, no one will think to raise the alarm.

Well, you know what happened to the boy who cried wolf. Died in a bus explosion, poor swine.

 

[ButterTart]

I was delighted beyond words to discover last night that one of Slavko's earliest claims to fame was 'chubby beard for Marija Serifovic'.

Fucking Hell !

Any word on why they broke up?

 

[dmlaw]

I do hope Adio gets the win for this. I can't remember what was so disagreeable about the other one but it must have been pretty bad for me to place it below most of these songs.

 

[Alla]

ButterTart confirmed as hetero after that 1 for Slavko.

 

[Alla]

My 0 is still to come, for god's sake!

 

[ButterTart]

ButterTart confirmed as hetero after that 1 for Slavko.

It was MORTIFYING watching him. It was up there with Shabnam leaving the Big Brother house on the desperado scale.

 

[ButterTart]

My 0 is still to come, for god's sake!

Please don't tell me you gave Igranka your 0.

 

[Alla]

Please don't tell me you gave Igranka your 0.

I don't remember, I voted 6 months ago!