Moopy's Greatest Dance Anthems: THE RESULTS SUPERTHREAD

What should we do with the final 50?

  • Let us rate them for a more accurate result, you fucking tyrant!

    Votes: 7 41.2%

  • Just use the results you've already got, you attention seeking cunt!

    Votes: 10 58.8%
  • Total voters
    17
I had Cotton Eye Joe and Blue on tape. I didn't care for the Vengaboys until We Like To Party. After that it was an obsession.
 
This lot got SIX points each. Just think what you could do if you had six points. I’d go on a bender, and I might get drunk as well.



235

Rogue Traders – Voodoo Child
2005, Australia, No 3 smash in 2006! This samples ‘Pump It Up’ by Elvis Costello & The Attractions. Natalie Baskingshark joined the line-up of Rogue Traders without any publicity shortly before this was released, as she was still appearing in Neighbours at the time and they wanted the song to be popular on its own merit and not on name value. Australia, the land where Natalie Baskingshark has name value.


234

Rank 1 – Airwave (Rank 1 vs Dutch Force Mix)
2000, Netherlands, No 10 smash! This amples the Red Bone mix of Gypsy Woman by Crystal Waters, so at least it made the rate is some capacity. This is an absolute trance anthem, and I feel like I’m in the company of Phyllis Steins seeing it come so low. Producer Benno de Goeij is also a member of Kamaya Painters and Gaia, trance trivia lovers!


233

Madonna – What It Feels Like For a Girl (Above and Beyond radio mix)
2001, USA, No 7 smash. Mercifully, this was Madonna’s only nomination on this list and, as much as I was pleasantly surprised by it, I’m glad it didn’t end up higher just because she’s Madonna, bitch. This was performed in an episode of Glee by the male cast members, two of whom went on to die. I refuse to believe this is a coincidence.


232

Sandra – Maria Magdalena
1985, Germany, No. 87 smash! Ignored in the UK but no 1 across Europe, this ISN’T the one off Eurovision 1999 (little name drop for @Suomi there). Sandra is Germany’s most commercially successful female pop vocalist and, judging by her name, works in Human Resources.


231

Amen! UK – Passion
1996, UK, No. 15 smash! I have many fond memories of people screaming ‘you’ve put the wrong fucking version in the playlist, you fat cunt!’ at me during the semis. How we laughed. Amen! UK is Northern Irish DJ Paul Masterson. He also goes by Yomanda, and his song ‘Synth & Strings’ was ejected during the semi-final process.


230

The Knife – Heartbeats (Rex the Dog Mix)
2002, Sweden, No. 119 smash! Absolute legend of a song in its own right, I first heard this mix of it in the hit film Donkey Punch, about a woman who accidentally dies after being punched in the neck during a bit of the other. Someone else who deserves to be punched in the neck is Jose González, for his limp fanny of a cover.
 
I adore the brittle original Heartbeats. I like what Rex the Dog have done elsewhere, but they don't deliver a remix I'd ever not choose the original over.

Madge's sole moment is majestic, but her sole entry should have been Vogue (unless it was me who nominated this). Just think what an amazing video we could have got if she hadn't married that cad.

Passion is destined to be a lovely runner up when it comes to talking about 90s dance. It's just not top tier. Still 10/10 though, let's be clear.
 
Sandra was also the vocalist for her husband and producer’s mega successful project Enigma once her solo career fizzled out a bit. She then divorced him when he had little further use to her when Enigma ended.
 
I'm disappointed that the poll doesn't include a third option of 'put them in the longboat until they're sober'.
 
I remember we all went mad for the Amen UK track back in the day but it hasn’t aged with as much nostalgic affection for me as many others. I do like it a lot though. He’s done loads of stuff with Dannii, Bananarama and Sam Fox over the years amongst many other gay faves.
 
These lucky, lucky people scored a cool SEVEN points. Such lofty heights seem unattainable to we mortals, but it’s just a day in the office for these Gods among men.

229

Saint Etienne – Only Love Can Break Your Heart (Andy Weatherall’s A Mix of Two Halves)
1990, UK/USA, No. 39 smash! A cover of Neil Young’s 1970 original, it also finds room to sample ‘When the Levee Breaks’ by Led Zepellin, and ‘Back to Life’ by Soul II Soul. The vocals here are from Moira Lambert, as Sarah Cracknell hadn’t joined yet.
This is one I expected a better placing from, and it’s almost a blessing that Andy Weatherall died in February this year so he doesn’t have to see this lowly placing.

228

Zedd ft. Foxes – Clarity
2012, Germany/UK, No. 27 smash! I thought this had done MUCH better business in the charts, but apparently I was wrong. This Grammy winner comes courtesy on Russo-German toddler Zedd, and I’ve always had a real soft spot for it. It’s nice to know not every uptempo song fell victim to the great chorus drought of 2010 – 2020.

227

Kygo & Whitney Houston – Higher Love
2019, Norway/USA, No. 2 smash! Not even being dead can keep our Whit from churning out the good stuff. She popped back just last year to record this Steve Winwood cover, making this the most recent song on our countdown. Kygo is famous for the genuinely awesome Firestone, but is a shepherd of the tropical house movement and is therefore an unmitigated cunt.

226

Sylvester – You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real)
1978, USA, No 8 smash! An olden days one for you now, Sylvester and his fine head of hair are representing a genre known as ‘dicso’. This was covered by Jimmy Somerville and Byron Stingily, which hardly seems fair given that Sylvester died in 1988 and wasn’t around to object. Danny DeVito danced his striptease to this in Friends, which is the moment I suspect many Moopists realised they liked boys.

225

Nicki French – Total Eclipse of the Heart
1995, UK, No 5 smash! Our Nicki scored an unlikely global smash with this cover of fellow Eurovision drunkard Bonnie Tyler’s original. Nicki French was somehow only 30 years old in the video, it must be the provincial travel agent hair. I’ve seen her in concert twice, but in an ironic way which doesn’t make it gay.
 
I note Sylvester seems to be having some kind of LGBTQ mini revival of late, being rightly lauded as a trailblazer of sorts.
 
You Make Me Feel Mighty Real is one of my fave Drag Race lip syncs to boot.
 
This pair also bagged seven points, I just didn’t want to keep you waiting so I bunged that last lot out early.


224

Whitney Houston – I’m Your Baby Tonight (Dronez Mix)
1990, USA, no. 5 smash! Here’s Whitney again, proving that you can’t keep a good corpse down. Dronez is Erick Morillo, AKA Reel 2 Reel, RAW, Ministers de la Funk and about a thousand other pseudonyms.


223

Röyksopp & Robyn – Do It Again
2014, Norway/Sweden, No. 75 smash! Röyksopp is the Norwegian word for a type of mushroom. Robyn is the Swedish word for an acclaimed singer-songwriteress who has another, slightly more popular song still to come in this list.
 
The Whitney one is just a joy to hear those vocals beaming.

Saint Etienne one doesn't add enough to the original as a dance remix to have got points from me.
 
Eight points for each of these little beauties.


222

Mauro Picotto – Komodo (Save a Soul)
2000, Italy No. 13 smash! This samples Sweet Lullaby by Deep Forest, or Deep Forest by Sweet Lullaby. I can’t be arsed going all the way back to Wikipedia to check. Mauro Picotto is also known as CRW, and I’m starting to think that all these aliases means there’s some sort of massive benefits fiddle afoot in the superstar DJ community.


221

BBE – Seven Days and One Week
1996, France/Italy, No 3 smash! BBE are Bruno Sanchioni, Bruno Quartier and Emmanuel Top. A pioneer of the slower, more emotional dream trance genre, which began as an attempt to curb the number of post-rave car accidents in Italy by calming down patrons who were off their tits at the end of the night. The number of accidents was so severe, the phenomenon became known as strage del sabato sera ("Saturday night slaughter"). THANKS WIKIPEDIA!
 
We’re on to the NINE pointers now. Boy howdy, I’m running out of fingers.


220

Wamdue Project – King of My Castle

1997, USA, no. 1 smash! Trestle liberation anthem and UK chart-topper. We contrived an entire extra semi-final just to get this to qualify, and it doesn’t even make the top 200! Also, I thought these were Italian but I was mistaken. Wikipedia says the lyrics are about Sigmund Freud’s theory of the unconscious, but I’ve read that cover to cover and it doesn’t mention trestles once.


219

Phats & Small – Turn Around
1999, UK, No 2 smash! Phats & Small are fronted by Ben Ofoedu, famous for being second only to an intravenous custard drip as the thing Vanessa Feltz most likes to have inside her. This undeniable cheesy classic samples ‘The Glow of Love’ by Change, and ‘Reach Up’ by Toney Lee.
 
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