Eurovision Rewatch: Kyiv 2005 (19/09 20.00 BST)

[ButterTart]

I would have been actively disappointed if no one had responded to that set up line.

Obvious jokes won't go untold on my watch.

 

[Lucille]

This is HORRENDOUS!

 

[win_the_game]

This is all about the DANK LADIES let's face it.

 

[Soldi]

Oh god it’s going to get EVEN WORSE isn’t it

 

[dmlaw]

It's ButterTart's Kalavision entry!

I mean, no, it isn't.

 

[Tisch]

WEE BREAK

What's everyone drinking tonight x

 

[Lucille]

Oh god that dealer is calling me AGAIN! Leave me alone!

 

[Soldi]

Oh god that dealer is calling me AGAIN! Leave me alone!

I mean ANYTHING to get through this CROCK OF SHIT!

 

[Lucille]

WEE BREAK

What's everyone drinking tonight x

Rooibos tea.

 

[Soldi]

A VAGINA AT LAST

 

[dmlaw]

Oh god that dealer is calling me AGAIN! Leave me alone!

You're going to have to buy some coke to get him to go away. Specify that you want one of the packages WITHOUT any rat poison in it.

 

[dmlaw]

A VAGINA AT LAST

The Swedish singer looked like a cunt to me.

 

[AlgoAlex]

Still running behind but still LOVE FYR Macedonia “make my day”

 

[lolly]

I had to take a call. Don't think I can be bothered recapping. Shiri is going to win my vote anyway.

 

[Soldi]

HELENA is next THANK FUCK!

 

[ZenGiraffe]

Love a bagpipe

 

[dmlaw]

Does the Croatia singer remind anyone else of Neil Morrissey?

 

[Soldi]

At least it’s a bit ETHNIC

 

[Suomi]

@Suomi please apologise and pay reparations on behalf of your country for this atrocity. Anybody who claims Sweden has never committed a war crime needs to be pointed in the direction of this fuckery.

the song is beat by 2 points is one of the all-time greats (nanne Grönvall - håll om mig)

 

[dmlaw]

I probably shouldn't but I love this sort of over-dramatic Balkan bollocks.

 

[Soldi]

GREECE

 

[Lucille]

Worst postcards ever!

 

[dmlaw]

If she hadn't already, this was the moment that Javine really got stuck into the complimentary booze in the certainty that she wouldn't have to perform again.

 

[Soldi]

Where’s @Madison

 

[Soldi]

If she hadn't already, this was the moment that Javine really got stuck into the complimentary booze in the certainty that she wouldn't have to perform again.

It really is a much better version of the same song isn’t it

 

[Lucille]

TREND ALERT : Miming strings

 

[dmlaw]

That's a lot of booing before the song has even started.

 

[AlgoAlex]

WEE BREAK

What's everyone drinking tonight x

Pouilly Fuissé

 

[AlgoAlex]

Does the Croatia singer remind anyone else of Neil Morrissey?

Dressed for a funeral. I mean death is appealing during this shite

 

[dmlaw]

Nice that Bosnia & Herzegovina have done a Swedish entry, given that Sweden didn't bother.

 

[ButterTart]

Right, I've just had my tea. Back in time for this fucking BRUTE.

 

[Soldi]

Oh SWITZERLAND

I remember this

 

[dmlaw]

Yes, this is exceptional.

 

[AlgoAlex]

Helena is just another LEVEL to everything else so far. Obvious winner

 

[Tisch]

O wow

 

[ButterTart]

the song is beat by 2 points is one of the all-time greats (nanne Grönvall - håll om mig)

I feel like we're owed a full, written statement to justify this decision. I can only assume Sweden have a policy of not sending anyone who looks like she could be Samia Ghadie's Mum

 

[Soldi]

I think 2005 holds the first MEMORIES of the contest for me, at the ripe old age of FOUR

 

[ButterTart]

Vanilla Ninja rate:
Lead singer
Guitarist with plait
Blonde guitar one
Keyboardist

 

[Tisch]

@Pingu just disallowed me to give this an 11. BAN HIM

 

[ButterTart]

I wish it wasn't called 'Cool Vibes' because I want a name like that to be a tropical banger served by Margaret or similar.

And now back to Earth with a dirge from the finalists of Miss Lesbian Latvia 2005.