Tuesday dies of kennel fanny during evening walk

[Penelope]

HI GIRLS!

 

[ButterTart]

Poor Tuesday. That fanny of hers has given her nothing but gyp since the day she had it installed.

 

[Dark Carnival]

hi

 

[Dark Carnival]

Do people calling me on my work number before 9 really expect me to answer?

 

[Lucille]

I don’t even answer the phone to my mother before 9.

 

[Mats]

Do people calling me on my work number before 9 really expect me to answer?

I had a citizen calling on my work phone TWICE at around 8.30 yesterday morning I know DEEP STATE never sleeps but its servants DO!

 

[jyxz]

Kim has got you covered

 

[Dr Lecter]

Morning gang. I have to do a solo video interview and am in no mood for it .

 

[lolly]

Is kennel fanny contagious? Only I was scissoring Tuesday like mad last week. I've just checked mine and there's no obvious signs of subsidence or slippage.

 

[Diddy]

I’m FUCKING CROSS

it’s too long and boring to explain but yeah

 

[AlgoAlex]

I’m FUCKING CROSS

it’s too long and boring to explain but yeah

Is it MAN OR WORK related?
Or in an interesting twist BOTH ?

 

[Diddy]

Is it MAN OR WORK related?
Or in an interesting twist BOTH ?

WORK
MAN is still confusing but it was really nice yesterday, besides a mortifying sexual misadventure

 

[Star]

WORK
MAN is still confusing but it was really nice yesterday, besides a mortifying sexual misadventure

Now you can't say that and not give more info.

 

[Lucille]

I mean someone shat on someone’s cock we can safely presume.

 

[Dark Carnival]

I can’t with queens complaining about finding a bit of poo on their cocks. You put it there, WHAT DID YOU EXPECT

 

[ZenGiraffe]

I can’t with queens complaining about finding a bit of poo on their cocks. You put it there, WHAT DID YOU EXPECT

What about on their beards?

 

[AlgoAlex]

What about on their beards?

Oh just seen my breakfast again

 

[Diddy]

I mean someone shat on someone’s cock we can safely presume.

well it wasn’t quite as bad but well it might as well have been

he was fine though

 

[ButterTart]

a mortifying sexual misadventure

In my experience that’s basically all of them.

 

[big ron]

Finding sweetcorn on your dick is always a pleasant experience, especially when you're on acid at the time.

 

[big ron]

MORNING!

 

[Lucille]

Are you sure you weren’t fucking a POT NOODLE?

 

[octophone]

Poor Tuesday. That fanny of hers has given her nothing but gyp since the day she had it installed.

I told you that in confidence.

 

[octophone]

Anyway, morning.

I've taken the day off work to try and get some of my unfinished musical things done. So far, strategy successful - in just under two hours, I've finished a piece that has been in bits on my desktop for weeks.

Top Tip - get dressed on yr days off.

 

[ButterTart]

I told you that in confidence.

Soz. I probably shouldn’t have told them about the Christmas present I got you from Dorothy Merkins either, should I?

 

[octophone]

Dorothy Merkins

 

[big ron]

Are you sure you weren’t fucking a POT NOODLE?

omg

 

[big ron]

I’m well into vegetarian haggis at the minute.

 

[Kate]

For fucking?

 

[octophone]

Veggie haggis has always been the right option. Proper tasty and no lips'n'arsehole meat.

 

[funky]

Morning gang. I have to do a solo video interview and am in no mood for it .

why are you so skinny now and what’s your secret

asking for a (fat) friend

 

[SDF]

I am at the hospital, getting an x ray for my foot after I dropped a weight on it last night in the gym

 

[Kate]

I am at the hospital, getting an x ray for my foot after I dropped a weight on it last night in the gym

Oh crikey

 

[Lucille]

THIS IS WHY I DON’T WORK OUT.

 

[Tisch]

Oh no! Well wishes @SDF!

Just remember for the future, dropping CRISPS on your foot wouldn't have required a trip to A&E x

 

[funky]

I am at the hospital, getting an x ray for my foot after I dropped a weight on it last night in the gym

the lengths people will now go to to get out of exercise

 

[SDF]

I have a big fuck off boot on now

Officially disabled

 

[SDF]

I’m actually so gutted as I start my annual leave tomorrow and had planned to go to the gym twice a day before moving to lockdown life in London

 

[Kate]

Can't you still do ARM THINGS and SIT-UPS and what not

 

[big ron]

For fucking?

Yeah the split lentils really add some TEXTURE.