My cousin's wife spectacularly cocked up Secret Santa, flat out said "I forgot" after we all unwrapped ours and my aunt was missing her gift.![]()



I poured myself a soft drink at 7am this morning and I’ve still not touched it.
That happened to me last year in work - the person who had me in the draw called in sick and I was just sat there like a complete lemon.
We didn;t do it this year.![]()
Make one for your SEXY DOG tooOk I’ve knocked together an espresso martini using some knock off tia Maria and salted caramel vodka, hopefully this’ll REVIVE ME.
well guess what sis? I'm tired - tired of living in a world where I'm not rich like I deserve to be and nobody joins my sync listens and Paul McCartney is still alive and Carrie Fisher is still dead and all the hot guys live on a DIFFERENT CONTINENT and wouldn't want me ANYWAY. so take your little food coma and SHUT UP.Omg I’m so tired

No wonder his SEXY DOG is arousedLucy has the MEAT SWEATS in BOTH SENSES

Good GRIEF!We had one year where one bloke 'forgot' (couldn't be arsed) to buy a present for the woman he picked. So he decided to just put a label on the gift intended for him.
Jeanette used that mug with 'Alex' on it for years.
I LOVE YOUR MUM!OMG, my mother has a bought a four pack of SNOWBALLS just for me![]()
I LOVE YOUR MUM!

Could have been worse. Could have been George at ASDAMind you, my mother also bought me a shirt from Tu at Sainsburys, so she AIN'T ALL THAT![]()
DOES IT RHYME WITH FUME?George at ASDA in HULME (the L is silent)
George at ASDA in HULME (the L is silent)
Where is that RANCID OLD STRUMPET @Zu-Klara?
He can BARELY SPEAK. Accident at birthDoes @Galadriel pronounce it HOOM?

DID YOU NOT SEE MY HANDY VIDEO GUIDE TO PRONUNCIATION?DOES IT RHYME WITH FUME?
Can someone EXPLAIN this? Sorry, I've TRIEDSo is the R...

)Can someone EXPLAIN this? Sorry, I've TRIED
GORGE at Asda? ()
LIKE CILLA BLACKWe ADD an R to practically everything, so I was definitely scratching my head
nobody joins my sync listens