The Real Housewives of Cheshire

[straightorbroken]

All of Cheshire is up on Sky. About to start season 11, but I'll be going back to the very start after 12.

Yves Saint Laurent, sweety, Yves Saint Laurent

 

[Frozen]

Don't even bother with 12, it was utterly useless bar the addition of Lystra.

 

[straightorbroken]

Don't even bother with 12, it was utterly useless bar the addition of Lystra.

Oh I'll bother alright, but I'm excited about what must be 2 or 3 lost seasons for me.

 

[straightorbroken]

Episode 1 is just a best of. If they're not giving talking heads I'll move on to episode 2. What a bizarre woopie cushion of a way to launch a new season.

 

[straightorbroken]

"Shut it big teeth"

 

[straightorbroken]

Magali was such good TV.

 

[straightorbroken]

Got to love a millionaire socialite asking for a free ticket to a charity event. Sorry, complimentary.

 

[straightorbroken]

Leane was such a snake. With half her face looking like she'd been bitten by one.

 

[straightorbroken]

Lauren advising Dawn against freezing her eggs because she's never had a good frozen pizza.

 

[straightorbroken]

I never liked any of the additions. The Russian stripper I could only take in small albeit sometimes marvelous doses.

 

[straightorbroken]

The slow motion smile drop on Lauren when Seema tells her to shut up and sit down

 

[straightorbroken]

Omg the currant comment. She must have been terrifying in the playground.

 

[straightorbroken]

Esther. Oh she's Czech. Forgive me.

Had no idea we ever saw her husband.

 

[straightorbroken]

Upstaged by that mother though. Played by Edith Massey of course.

 

[straightorbroken]

Phoney Stacey Bucket was just the worst.

*fly swatting cry stopping thing*

 

[straightorbroken]

Just who was telling Leane she was "the real one, the honest one" - the men who used to slide notes under her thong straps?

 

[straightorbroken]

Oh semi take it back, I did like Rachel. And her faintly bizarre sister.

 

[straightorbroken]

Arnamena's husband though. Oh lord.

 

[straightorbroken]

When Seema let the "I have a fashion brand to represent" guard down she was okay too. I was just surprised she struck such a friendship with Madame Bucket though.

 

[straightorbroken]

Oh no, Hannah was the worst. The Tulisa of the dental world.

 

[straightorbroken]

Perla was actual poison. Even more hard boiled than Dawn, but without the blunt fun.

 

[straightorbroken]

Hannah getting on always reeked of some of those women wanting free procedures off her plastic husband.

 

[straightorbroken]

I also do think Hannah was too smart for this show, so playing along just came across as unnatural and insincere as a compromise to get on TV.

 

[straightorbroken]

I can't believe Rachel's husband had an affair - who on earth would go near him?

 

[straightorbroken]

Even if it was clearly a set up, I did enjoy the monkey thieves.

 

[straightorbroken]

No, give us a sec, love. Just, seriously, go, like, stretch and do some yoga or summit.

 

[straightorbroken]

I'm still not fully aware of Dawn's beef with Leane.

 

[straightorbroken]

Oh Leilani was decently unlikeable enough.

 

[straightorbroken]

At least we haven't had any of Roy and Boy doing whatever they can for screen time yet.

 

[straightorbroken]

.

 

[straightorbroken]

Oh thank god, episode 2, some new material.

 

[straightorbroken]

Royston only too happy to show his hair transplant within seconds of being on air. Bitch knows his quota.

 

[straightorbroken]

That poor golf instructor had better just be pleased to be on TV. Imagine dealing with that without cameras.

 

[straightorbroken]

Oh who is that new pickled egg on the block?

 

[straightorbroken]

She's twice the woman Tanya is..

 

[straightorbroken]

The full package? She's the full McDonalds drive-thru.

 

[straightorbroken]

I'm with Tanya. Just have a wank in the toilet.

 

[straightorbroken]

Ugh. Who on earth would swap the nightmare job of a lifetime as Dawn's PA to be camp Hannah? Some people are beyond help.

 

[straightorbroken]

Dawn's house reminds me of the one from Years & Years from the outside.

 

[straightorbroken]

Derby's man isn't exactly a stallion is he? A nervous hen pecked thing, bless him.