VoR
Take it or leave it
Last year's Melfest was just about the last dying ember of normality before... *trails off and waves hands*.
This year, sadly, they've been unable to escape the Curse of COVID, so there'll be no exciting road trips to Lidköping and its world-famous fish museums for this year's Contenders. Still, the show must go on, and the recurring nightmare of belting out a force ten Schlager key change and accompanying triumphant slutpose to a reaction of cold, deafening silence is about to become reality for somebody other than Linda Bengtzing.
Let's introduce this week's sacrificial lambs, shall we?
A fixture on the Swedish hard rock circuit ever since the release of their seminal debut album 'Sod off God!' (bless...) Lillasyster are perhaps best known for their cover of Rihanna's Umbrella, and represent this week's vain effort to get some male heterosexuals to tune in. Lost cause, Christer love.
I'm mildly intrigued that they appear to have at least one gay in the mix (if that rainbow armband means anything), but realistically this is almost certain to be filed under 'Fun4Buttertart'
Poor old Nanne's own solo recent efforts may have gone over about as well as a mask-free coughing fit in a crowded lift, but she's still keeping her Aquanet funds topped up though the back door via these chubby funsters, who sailed to the final two years ago off a wave of nostalgia and male privilege. There's something profoundly disturbing about the hair, but if you don't stare at this too long or too hard it should be harmless fun.
Idol graduate turned contestant on the Swedish Bachelor, Nathalie Brydolf may wear the ratty ginger mane of our fallen champion Shirley Clamp, but her description of this entry is filled with unpromising terms like 'soft' 'vulnerable' and 'filled with emotion'. Jessica has mortgage bills to pay, Nat. Get off the damn runway.
The Pandora Boxx of Melodifestivalen finally comes back for All-stars, a full decade after his last (very) bitter defeat. In a classic pre-emptive defensive mechanism, he's been very loudly proclaiming that he's only really here for a local hit - the virus having taken a big bite out of his concert bookings over the past twelve months. Keep an eye on him if this builds a bit of traction though - he's a prime candidate to shit himself in the green room if winds up pipped into second place again.
This year, sadly, they've been unable to escape the Curse of COVID, so there'll be no exciting road trips to Lidköping and its world-famous fish museums for this year's Contenders. Still, the show must go on, and the recurring nightmare of belting out a force ten Schlager key change and accompanying triumphant slutpose to a reaction of cold, deafening silence is about to become reality for somebody other than Linda Bengtzing.
Let's introduce this week's sacrificial lambs, shall we?
1. Kadiatou - One Touch
(Joy Deb, Linnea Deb, Jimmy "Joker" Thörnfeldt, Anderz Wrethov)
Traditionally, the opening slot in Heat One tends to be reserved for 'fun4Andra Chansen' entries. Which makes sense, you don't generally want to spaff your load before you've even gone balls deep on the first thrust, do you? Last year The Mamas defied that slightly gross analogy, but I suspect we'll be back on familiar territory here. Kaditou finished second on Swedish Idol in 2018, released a few buzz singles and promises an uptempo dance number written by the ever-industrious Debs. It's a tale as old as time - or at least as old as 2014, anyway.(Joy Deb, Linnea Deb, Jimmy "Joker" Thörnfeldt, Anderz Wrethov)
2. Lillasyster - Pretender
(Isak Hallén, Jakob Redtzer, Martin Westerstrand, Ian Paolo Lira, Palle Hammarlund)
(Isak Hallén, Jakob Redtzer, Martin Westerstrand, Ian Paolo Lira, Palle Hammarlund)
A fixture on the Swedish hard rock circuit ever since the release of their seminal debut album 'Sod off God!' (bless...) Lillasyster are perhaps best known for their cover of Rihanna's Umbrella, and represent this week's vain effort to get some male heterosexuals to tune in. Lost cause, Christer love.
I'm mildly intrigued that they appear to have at least one gay in the mix (if that rainbow armband means anything), but realistically this is almost certain to be filed under 'Fun4Buttertart'
3.Jessica Andersson - Horizon
(David Kreuger, Fredrik Kempe, Marcus Lidén, Christian Holmström)
I feel like, at this point, Jessica Andersson is the HMV of Melodifestivalen. All her contemporaries have long since gone into administration, yet due to some mysterious gay tax loophole, somehow she endures. This is described as a vocally challenging uptempo with a touch more substance than Party Voice, which probably means she's going to rhyme 'high' with 'sky' rather than 'voice' with 'voice'. Cut her some slack, Sweden. It's been a rough year. We need this.(David Kreuger, Fredrik Kempe, Marcus Lidén, Christian Holmström)
4. Paul Rey - The Missing Piece
(Fredrik Sonefors, Laurell Barker, Paul Rey)
One of the big breakout stars of last year's contest, Paul Rey is the blank, glassy-eyed face of modern pop, and near-assured of a place in the top four come Saturday. He describes this song as 'intimate' and 'personal' with 'minimalistic' staging - all that and he became a father last year, so you just know this is going to be a real hedonistic thrill ride. Strap in gays!(Fredrik Sonefors, Laurell Barker, Paul Rey)
5. Arvingarna - Tänk inte alls går hem
(Stefan Brunzell, Nanne Grönvall, Thomas G:son, Bobby Ljunggren)
(Stefan Brunzell, Nanne Grönvall, Thomas G:son, Bobby Ljunggren)
Poor old Nanne's own solo recent efforts may have gone over about as well as a mask-free coughing fit in a crowded lift, but she's still keeping her Aquanet funds topped up though the back door via these chubby funsters, who sailed to the final two years ago off a wave of nostalgia and male privilege. There's something profoundly disturbing about the hair, but if you don't stare at this too long or too hard it should be harmless fun.
6. Nathalie Brydolf – ‘Fingerprints’
(Andreas Stone Johansson, Etta Zelmani, Laurell Barker, Anna-Klara Folin)
(Andreas Stone Johansson, Etta Zelmani, Laurell Barker, Anna-Klara Folin)
Idol graduate turned contestant on the Swedish Bachelor, Nathalie Brydolf may wear the ratty ginger mane of our fallen champion Shirley Clamp, but her description of this entry is filled with unpromising terms like 'soft' 'vulnerable' and 'filled with emotion'. Jessica has mortgage bills to pay, Nat. Get off the damn runway.
7. Danny - Dandi Dansa
(Danny Saucedo, Karl-Johan Råsmark)
(Danny Saucedo, Karl-Johan Råsmark)
The Pandora Boxx of Melodifestivalen finally comes back for All-stars, a full decade after his last (very) bitter defeat. In a classic pre-emptive defensive mechanism, he's been very loudly proclaiming that he's only really here for a local hit - the virus having taken a big bite out of his concert bookings over the past twelve months. Keep an eye on him if this builds a bit of traction though - he's a prime candidate to shit himself in the green room if winds up pipped into second place again.
Snippets: Thursday
Clips: Saturday 6th February
Clips: Saturday 6th February
Last edited:
at Yessica as the gay HIV
