I could drink a case of Friday

[GNL]

Oh no, I just yeeted my phone in the bath. Disappointed that it a) didn't make like a bath bomb and turn the water sparkly and b) didn't kill me, like when Gwen Stefani threw the toaster in the tub in the 'It's My Life' video.

 

[dmlaw]

@Suomi was my wedding planner don't you know I can highly recommend him, here's a selection of his messages in the run up to my wedding;

'Hey just making preliminary notes for your wedding planning Filofax...how many lasers do you think you'll be wanting overall? Also i've spoken to a guy who can get us a giant smoke machine for a cut deal price, with the only catch being that there's a 45% chance of it setting on fire but at the end of the day what is life without these little risks?'

'I've got more bad news. The caterer I hired is pressing charges against me after what I did so that's gonna really into our overall budget, and I don't know if I can find another chef at this short notice. It's okay though, I've pencilled In a quick trolley dash at Iceland on the morning of the ceremony. Next time you see me can you just say:' Wagon Wheels' to remind me to go over the full food and drink list I've prepared'

Were they regular Wagon Wheels or the ones with jam in them? Because that could make a real difference to whether the event is a success or not.

 

[Lucille]

STILL AT LUNCH

 

[RJN]

STILL AT LUNCH

Waiting for the cow to grow up so you feel ethical eating it?

 

[Lucille]

Waiting for the cow to grow up so you feel ethical eating it?

Waiting for someone to SMOTHER it in tuna mayo and charge £22 for it.

 

[Rita]

STILL AT LUNCH

Is he ATTRACTIVE? You need someone attractive to gaze at over the table.

 

[octophone]

Waiter: "How do you like your steak, Sir?"
Lucille: "Still fucking mooing. Clean its ears, wipe its arse and get it over here"

 

[RJN]

I’m also at lunch waiting for my tuna to arrive. Fun stuff

 

[Rita]

I’ve been invited to soirée on Sunday, but my friend said she is feeling ROUGH but hopes it is just a cold. She went for a COVID test today, and said she will be in touch tomorrow after she gets her result via text. Am I right in saying that the delta variant has been coming up with negative readings, and then showing as positive later? I’ve only been vaccinated once. I have probably answered my own question here already…

 

[ButterTart]

Today was what the French would call ‘a cunting shithouse’. Are senior leaders trained in being as useless and obstructive as humanly possible, or is it just a skill they develop naturally?