You can't stand me, don’t blame you Friday

  • Thread starter Thread starter AGinAg (37)
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We have a couple of nice Peruvian places, but again not that accessable and also rather expensive.
 
I bought two water bottles in Boots and received them in a brown paper bag. I then went over to M+S to buy snacks and wine and as I was approaching the till the brown paper bag collapsed, dropping my two water bottles on the floor and their lids flying into the air. I hit a man and woman on either side of me. As the attendant came over I started saying “oh my god I’m so sorry, they just exploded” and as I picked up a bottle of water it started spraying the man I had already hit on his leg. I then looked him in the eye and said “this can’t get any worse can it?” before demurely scanning through @HerSereneHighnessAnniFrid ’s precious tin of cider and low fat pitta chips.
 
Suomi said:
I bought two water bottles in Boots and received them in a brown paper bag. I then went over to M+S to buy snacks and wine and as I was approaching the till the brown paper bag collapsed, dropping my two water bottles on the floor and their lids flying into the air. I hit a man and woman on either side of me. As the attendant came over I started saying “oh my god I’m so sorry, they just exploded” and as I picked up a bottle of water it started spraying the man I had already hit on his leg. I then looked him in the eye and said “this can’t get any worse can it?” before demurely scanning through @HerSereneHighnessAnniFrid ’s precious tin of cider and low fat pitta chips.
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:D This is blatantly (and very uncharacteristically :tongueout:) attention-seeking fiction because SINCE WHEN DO BOOTS HAVE BROWN PAPER BAGS
 
Zu 2 said:
:D This is blatantly (and very uncharacteristically :tongueout:) attention-seeking fiction because SINCE WHEN DO BOOTS HAVE BROWN PAPER BAGS
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I was AGHAST too - she set me up presumably because I made her get up from her chair to find me the ANTIHISTAMINES
 
Zu 2 said:
:D This is blatantly (and very uncharacteristically :tongueout:) attention-seeking fiction because SINCE WHEN DO BOOTS HAVE BROWN PAPER BAGS
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Suomi brought his own paperbag-for-life with him to do the shop.
 
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Oh well of course I only ever use my I CARE ABOUT THE PLANET AND DON'T EAT MY FRIENDS SO I'M MORALLY SUPERIOR TO YOU tote bag so never notice such things :)
 
Rumours that @Suomi was in there buying GLINTS hotly denied although he is rather suspiciously looking a lovely shade of conker :disco:
 
I see that planet killer @Suomi bought a walrus-strangling BAG FOR LIFE and is that a MINI BOUTEILLE of Pinot I see on the receipt? Seems VERY CHEAP IF NOT
 
At work today office girl found out that her dad's been using prostitutes without latex protection and caught knob-nasties, which he's then passed on to his girlfriend. She discovered this after her husband received a random text message from an unknown number saying "Your dad been to prozzies got VD and gave it me, I've changed the locks and he can f*ck off he's your problem now". He forwarded it to her and we were laughing about why scammers would send a text like that, were they going to ask for money in a subsequent text or was it just a wrong number when her phone rang and it was her brother who'd received the same text message but he has the girlfriend in his contacts so knew it was from her. He then rang their dad who immediately admitted it was all true!

Poor office girl was mortified, that's information about a parent that you really don't need to know.
 
Floppet said:
At work today office girl found out that her dad's been using prostitutes without latex protection and caught knob-nasties, which he's then passed on to his girlfriend. She discovered this after her husband received a random text message from an unknown number saying "Your dad been to prozzies got VD and gave it me, I've changed the locks and he can f*ck off he's your problem now". He forwarded it to her and we were laughing about why scammers would send a text like that, were they going to ask for money in a subsequent text or was it just a wrong number when her phone rang and it was her brother who'd received the same text message but he has the girlfriend in his contacts so knew it was from her. He then rang their dad who immediately admitted it was all true!

Poor office girl was mortified, that's information about a parent that you really don't need to know.
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Oh nooooooo :D:D:D

DIRTY
 
How is everyone this evening?

Sad indulgent story: I was supposed to go to London tonight, my old home, for the first time in a year, for a long weekend to catch up with all my mates. 2 days ago came down with a bug and been wiped out. Had to spend yesterday reorganising all my plans; luckily haven't lost any money but can't help but think how I'm supposed to be sat in Covent Garden now having dim sum and instead I'm sat at home talking to you reprobates

Meh. Oh well the weather is shit this weekend so maybe it'll be better when I try again in a couple of weeks.

:(
 
That Pot Noodle will be "unforgettable" in aaaaaall the wrong ways.
 
I've been on the gin and am now a bit peckish. Those Maggi instant noodles are looking good.
 
Zu 2 said:
:D Read for actual dried noodles in a pot filth. Although I do prefer the chicken and mushroom variety
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They had that one too but I wasn’t sure which would be best, so went for the original
 
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