🎄 ASFXMAS 2021 HOLY VOTING - CLOSED - RESULTS TOMORROW 8PM! 🎅

[octophone]

Why is it in there? It's just horrifying and cruel. It's like showing a kid a Peppa Pig video with a few frames of a puppy being kicked to death spliced in.

Or worse, showing an adult a film of a puppy being kicked to death and splicing in a few frames of Theresa May trying to give a speech.

 

[dmlaw]

I love that everyone has stuck around so far.

It’s not like we have anywhere else to go.

 

[ButterTart]

I love that everyone has stuck around so far.

It's well known that people will stay with their abusers because their spirits are too crushed to break free.

 

[octophone]

I wonder how Ag's doing?

 

[ButterTart]

My review of this song:

'This is a song that features in this playlist'

 

[ButterTart]

I wonder how Ag's doing?

Kicking a puppy to death so he can traumatise a three year old Peppa Pig enthusiast.

 

[Lucille]

Eurgh I used to work in a cocktail bar that used to have bands that played this shit, it was HELL.

 

[dmlaw]

I officially just ran out of zeros for the jury vote.

 

[ButterTart]

I utterly, utterly DETEST this song.

 

[Tisch]

I was going to vote for this one but then I slipped on a banana and the sense was knocked back into me

 

[octophone]

This is awful. I'd sooner cut my dick off than lis....oh.

 

[dmlaw]

I officially just ran out of zeros for the jury vote.

To be clear. I gave this all five of them.

 

[ButterTart]

See my earlier comment about spoken word bits being as funny as a sombre doctor while you're waiting for news on an elderly relative's emergency surgery.

 

[Lucille]

This is awful. I'd sooner cut my dick off than lis....oh.

Here’s a rusty blade, TAKE MINE.

 

[Lucille]

This is quite the REVELATION.

 

[octophone]

"A Vocal Performance With Instrumental Accompaniment". Well, thank you, CAPTAIN FUCKING OBVIOUS.

 

[Iguana]

A final performance with instrumental accompaniment.

So a SONG?

 

[dmlaw]

At least the shit awfulness of the last song makes this sound even better.

 

[ButterTart]

The GLOWING REVIEW of this singing as "a vocal performance"

 

[Iguana]

People don't like this in the first listening party! The DULLARDS!

 

[octophone]

"This song is a song that was written as a song and then sung"

 

[Tisch]

Brb, coming with the sleigh

 

[Lucille]

"This song is a song that was written as a song and then sung"

Still more praise than it deserves.

 

[octophone]

"Synth-pop "avant-garde pop evangelists" (© Popjustice)"

What's avant-garde about this? Clueless bastards.

 

[ButterTart]

I think this is ace, to be honest. It reminds me of Saint Etienne, or an off-brand cover of Saint Etienne you'd hear on the radio in a garden centre.'

 

[Lucille]

Brb, coming with the sleigh

IN AN ELABORATE WAY?!

 

[octophone]

There's worse in this contest but it opened with Countess Luann so I could have said that at any point from song 2 onwards.

 

[Tisch]

IN AN ELABORATE WAY?!

With instrumential accompaniment and EVERYTHING

 

[dmlaw]

Obviously, I have to ignore everything about the video and the band to maintain my enthusiasm for the excellent song. It’s working so far.

 

[octophone]

It reminds me of Saint Etienne, or an off-brand cover of Saint Etienne you'd hear on the radio in a garden centre.'

Actually, you're right.

 

[Iguana]

There's worse in this contest but it opened with Countess Luann so I could have said that at any point from song 2 onwards.

What would Countess Luann need to do to gain your approval? She's desperate for it!

 

[ButterTart]

The hype has got to me, I won't lie. I really do think this song is with instrumental accompaniment now.

 

[Lucille]

There's worse in this contest but it opened with Countess Luann so I could have said that at any point from song 2 onwards.

One should know, NEVER count out THE COUNTESS.

 

[ButterTart]

What would Countess Luann need to do to gain your approval? She's desperate for it!

Starts with D, rhymes with Fignitas.

 

[octophone]

No Doubt meets Christmas. When Fuck met That.

 

[ButterTart]

When was this No Doubt song even from? I had no idea it existed until the playlist.

 

[dmlaw]

It’s not like Gwen Stefani to be actually quite problematic when you think about it.

 

[Tisch]

It reminds me of Spiderwebs. The difference? I like Spiderwebs.

 

[Lucille]

I once stalked Gwen around Glasgow’s BOTANIC GARDENS.

 

[octophone]

Oh great, Gwen Stefani just solved racism. Phew!