The moopy guide to really bad driving habits

funky

funky

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Hello moopy and welcome to this episode of WHY ARE HUMANS SO FUCKING STUPID

I wonder what the percentage of people in this country know that it's ACTUALLY ILLEGAL to park on the corners of junctions, and at the horizontal end of a T junction.

Not angry every morning trying to get to the train station. Not at all. :)
 
Also if Karen INSISTS on having a 4x4, could she NOT park across two parking bays in Tesco? JUST A THOUGHT
 
Taking into account this new craze of parking on the kerb outside your house when you have a perfectly acceptable empty driveway at your disposal, thereby creating a slalem route for every passing driver, could you AT LEAST leave a bit of room for, I don't know, a BICYCLE to maybe squeeze through?

In all seriousness I do often wonder how these people expect an ambulance to fit through in an emergency. I hope they take their wing mirrors off.
 
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funky starts a thread about driving, immediately posts three things about parking. I suppose you have to drive to park.

I try not to get angry about people's transportation habits because the internet (particularly local newspapers and local fb groups) are just full of people getting angry about parking or cyclists or taxi drivers and it's just so neverendingly awful.
 
Still never driven a car in my life, and never intend to, so I get to avoid this particular stress.

However, I will say that drivers who bomb down quiet country roads to get their thrills are hedgehog murdering monsters. The amount of mangled corpses I see when I'm out walking is so upsetting. Poor little guys. :(
 
I swear Audi seem to have a clause in the contract that you have to be an ABSOLUTE CUNT to be able to purchase.
 
Indie said:
funky starts a thread about driving, immediately posts three things about parking. I suppose you have to drive to park.
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This is true. It does seem to be parking is the worst part of people's driving habits.

There are many other things I just haven't gotten to them yet :)
 
VoR said:
Still never driven a car in my life, and never intend to, so I get to avoid this particular stress.

However, I will say that drivers who bomb down quiet country roads to get their thrills are hedgehog murdering monsters. The amount of mangled corpses I see when I'm out walking is so upsetting. Poor little guys. :(
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Being from Lyedeeayte this is a daily occurrence for me. Hedgehogs, rabbits, pheasants... the bypass got closed last year because a DEER was hit :(
 
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My former fat fuck lazy-bones colleague used to proudly announce how he would park his precious BM on top of the white line to ensure there was always a space either side of it and no-one would park too close to it. I really hope someone's smashed that up.
 
funky said:
Being from Lyedeeayte this is a daily occurrence for me. Hedgehogs, rabbits, pheasants... the bypass got closed last year because a DEER was hit :(
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Oh yeah we get a lot of Pheasants (Eileen AGOG from beyond the grave) and badgers too.

I really think it should be a fineable offence to hit them on a quiet road. If they wander onto an A-road during rush hour then fair enough, there's not much you can do. But their numbers are plummeting and it's largely because selfish pricks just don't look out for them. It makes me so angry.
 
There's a particular junction here that IRKS me no end. I'll try to explain:

There are two lanes, both turning left (the only option). The road it turns into has three lanes.

The two lanes both have left arrows, the right hand one has a big "C'FORD" underneath it (Chingford). So when you turn into the three lane road, you use the left lane for the first two left lanes, and the right lane for the right lane (which turns right and goes to Chingford).

The AMOUNT of people in the right lane who then awkwardly shuffle over to the middle lane and cut me up. It's literally everyone. When I'm at the red lights and someone comes up on my right I just know they're going to shuffle in front of me and they do every. Time.
 
I gave up driving quite early on because I felt I just wasn't any good at it. I passed my test and all that but I just never felt comfortable, never felt I'd got the hang of it.

Plus, 97.4% of people become a cunt the second they're behind the wheel. :)
 
Soldi said:
I swear Audi seem to have a clause in the contract that you have to be an ABSOLUTE CUNT to be able to purchase.
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I drive an Audi. :D:(. Although I lease mine because Im too poor to buy one outright, so technically I haven't purchased it so Im exempt from such a sweeping generalisation.

That being said I am aware of BMW/Audi drivers reputation so I try to be as considerate as I can when driving. But I have noticed that people have got far less considerate and more selfish when driving recently, just to save themselves 5 seconds TOPS. My pet hate is letting someone out or in and they don't even acknowledge you. That really makes my blood boil to a ridiculous extent. What effort is a wave or flash or your warning lights? VILE.

The other thing that annoys me is when people park outside YOUR house, when they have an empty driveway and space outside their OWN house. I know its a public road, but I don't need your big white rusty van blocking the light into my windows when there's no need. Just inconsiderate
 
Oh LAST ONE. The approach to the M11 I use all the time is 50, but the junction I use actually enters the right hand side of the road. EVERYBODDDDY zooms down it at 70, but it doesn't turn into 70 till quite a bit later, so I have to awkwardly try to get over to the left while everyone's undertaking me. I don't know why I'm the only one who notices the 50 signs.

I wrote to the Highways Agency to try get them to reinforce it a bit more (or just make it 70!) and got nothing back.
 
Tisch said:
There's a particular junction here that IRKS me no end. I'll try to explain:

There are two lanes, both turning left (the only option). The road it turns into has three lanes.

The two lanes both have left arrows, the right hand one has a big "C'FORD" underneath it (Chingford). So when you turn into the three lane road, you use the left lane for the first two left lanes, and the right lane for the right lane (which turns right and goes to Chingford).

The AMOUNT of people in the right lane who then awkwardly shuffle over to the middle lane and cut me up. It's literally everyone. When I'm at the red lights and someone comes up on my right I just know they're going to shuffle in front of me and they do every. Time.
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There's a junction by me notorious for this. @VoR will know it - switch island. Notorious for accidents. The start of two motorways and a main road from the north splitting into 2 main roads serving Liverpool to the south. It's a nightmare. All because the council didn't want to pay for a flyover terminus for one of the motorways. It's basically one big massive roundabout without the benefit of sliproads that most giant junctions have. So it constantly goes from two to three to two lanes and EVERYONE gets in the wrong one. You have to anticipate it every time.
 
Also taxi drivers. They can fuck off with their crazy U-turns, pulling out, coming to a sudden stop, all with no signalling.
 
Can I bitch about cyclists in here too?

DON’T WORRY NOT YOU

I’ve had experience with cyclists deciding I’m coming for them directly even when it’s something they don’t do
 
Diddy said:
Can I bitch about cyclists in here too?

DON’T WORRY NOT YOU

I’ve had experience with cyclists deciding I’m coming for them directly even when it’s something they don’t do
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The unspoken war that has been raging for the last few decades is cyclists v drivers in London. I've never known such hostility :D Probably because it's more passive aggressive. In Europe they'd probably just MOW YOU DOWN
 
funky said:
The unspoken war that has been raging for the last few decades is cyclists v drivers in London. I've never known such hostility :D Probably because it's more passive aggressive. In Europe they'd probably just MOW YOU DOWN
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I should clarify that I want to bitch about cyclists as a pedestrian!

In Milton Keynes there are a lot of cycle paths so mostly people keep to their spaces
 
funky said:
There's a junction by me notorious for this. @VoR will know it - switch island. Notorious for accidents. The start of two motorways and a main road from the north splitting into 2 main roads serving Liverpool to the south. It's a nightmare. All because the council didn't want to pay for a flyover terminus for one of the motorways. It's basically one big massive roundabout without the benefit of sliproads that most giant junctions have. So it constantly goes from two to three to two lanes and EVERYONE gets in the wrong one. You have to anticipate it every time.
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Looking at this on Googlemaps - yeah that's all kind of nope.
 
I think it’s just annoying because cyclists here are fucking loons. It IS ok to just slow down when you approach a lot of people, don’t just slalom between at full speed like a fucking X-Wing
 
It does feel like everyone is in more of a rush than ever these days. It's actually quite amusing when scallies overtake you on a country road (When you're already doing about 60) and then you finally get to the end of the junction 4 miles later and they're right in front of you at the traffic lights :D

WELL DONE ON SAVING THAT EXTRA SECOND!
 
Cyclists who don’t stop at traffic lights/crossings despite the fact they’re ON THE ROAD.

FALL OFF YOUR BIKE YOU DAFT CUNT
 
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I enjoy driving but only back home, I’d hate doing it here.
 
I HATE driving in Manchester. One way systems are fucking awful and dreadfully confusing for visitors at the best of times, but Manchester's really is vile.
 
Soldi said:
Cyclists who don’t stop at traffic lights/crossings despite the fact they’re ON THE ROAD.

FALL OFF YOUR BIKE YOU DAFT CUNT
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I nearly accidentally had a fight with another cyclist recently because he was jumping through red lights, so I called him a silly little cunt. He didn't take well to that.
 
funky said:
Also YOU GIVE WAY TO THE RIGHT ON A ROUNDABOUT

TO. THE. RIGHT.
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This is even worse at mini roundabouts. The amount of MORONS that just sit there presumably until there is no other car on the road :evil:
 
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