Thank crunchie it's Friday

Moopy I think there's something fundamentally wrong with me. When friends tell me they're pregnant and everyone around them is super excited for them, I genuinely feel nothing. I have to fake excitement just so I don't look like a bitch.

Someone telling me they're pregnant is as exciting to me as someone telling me they're going shopping in Tesco.

If someone told me they were getting a puppy or going on holiday tho, I'd be super excited and jealous.

I can only assume I just lack all the emotions most women are born with when it comes to babies 🤔
 
Rachey said:
Moopy I think there's something fundamentally wrong with me. When friends tell me they're pregnant and everyone around them is super excited for them, I genuinely feel nothing. I have to fake excitement just so I don't look like a bitch.

Someone telling me they're pregnant is as exciting to me as someone telling me they're going shopping in Tesco.
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I'm alright at going along with their excitement, but my one prevailing thought is always OH NO YOU'VE RUINED YOUR LIFE

And when they've had them and I visit I see nothing to change this view, as fun as it is to hang out for like an hour or so (max). There are clearly nice moments to being a parent, but for me I don't see how they'd outweigh the expense and the lack of sleep / downtime and all the worrying and your life no longer being your own.

I hope it's a me thing and all the parents aren't SECRETLY REGRETTING IT
 
Finn said:
I'm alright at going along with their excitement, but my one prevailing thought is always OH NO YOU'VE RUINED YOUR LIFE

And when they've had them and I visit I see nothing to change this view, as fun as it is to hang out for like an hour or so (max). There are clearly nice moments to being a parent, but for me I don't see how they'd outweigh the expense and the lack of sleep / downtime and all the worrying and your life no longer being your own.

I hope it's a me thing and all the parents aren't SECRETLY REGRETTING IT
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Yes this is exactly how I feel. Sometimes I really have to fight the urge to say "why the hell would you do that to yourselves?"

Having said that, 90% of my friend seem to quite like their kids and being a parent. But they also seem tired, stressed and poor.
 
Also, having said all of this, I know a lot of people don't understand my love of pets and can't understand how I can love Heathcliff as much as I do. So it really is just each to their own I guess.
 
My best friend from high school had a kid in lockdown that I've still not met. He knows never to invite me over unless the kids have been sent away, for which I am grateful.

Another high school friend, that I was best man at his wedding, removed me on all socials and hasn't spoken to me in two years because I didn't go see his baby. IN LOCKDOWN.

I have no regrets
 
ZenGiraffe said:
My best friend from high school had a kid in lockdown that I've still not met. He knows never to invite me over unless the kids have been sent away, for which I am grateful.

Another high school friend, that I was best man at his wedding, removed me on all socials and hasn't spoken to me in two years because I didn't go see his baby. IN LOCKDOWN.

I have no regrets
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:o that's harsh of your friend to cut you off!

I think a big part of my child issue is maybe the friends I have and the reason they have had kids.

I'd say a huge majority of them had children for the wrong reason, to keep their partners happy, to try and save a relationship, some are still with their partners despite hating them but say they can't leave because of the children. And this is all things they have told me, not me making assumptions.

All of those reasons make me think, why have you done this.

Perhaps if I had more friends like @Star who actually seems to love her husband and want a family with him, I'd be more pro children :D
 
floppet said:
Get the feeling you all think people who have babies are idiots.
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Not at all, I feel a lot of my friends who have had them have had them for the wrong reasons. And I feel like I'm missing some baby gene and something is wrong with me.
 
floppet said:
Get the feeling you all think people who have babies are idiots.
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No, but I do think a lot of people are having them by default rather than because they want to and will be a good parent. The two friends in question, the first absolutely should have become a dad and was definitely going to be (and is) good at it and happier for it.

The second, he should never have married the person and was definitely someone who thought he should have a kid, rather than it was best for all involved.
 
Rachey said:
Moopy I think there's something fundamentally wrong with me. When friends tell me they're pregnant and everyone around them is super excited for them, I genuinely feel nothing. I have to fake excitement just so I don't look like a bitch.

Someone telling me they're pregnant is as exciting to me as someone telling me they're going shopping in Tesco.

If someone told me they were getting a puppy or going on holiday tho, I'd be super excited and jealous.

I can only assume I just lack all the emotions most women are born with when it comes to babies 🤔
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I once said DO YOU WANT IT? in response to someone announcing their pregnancy. It didn’t go down well but I was ONLY ASKING!
 
I have to work hard not to recoil or flinch when they inevitably get brought into the office when someone is on maternity leave.

I can make an effort if it's a friend - and if I know those friends really want a family I'm genuinely happy for them. For for colleagues who I barely care about bringing them to work, no. Get it out.
 
Morning. Sun's out, it's payday, I'm bunking off an hour early and my Vivian Stanshall CDs have arrived. Not bad at all.
 
Any human that still requires someone else to clean up their excrement can be kept away from me, please. Once they are continent, upright and can hold a conversation, I'm in.
 
I can honestly say having a child is the single most beautiful experience I’ve ever had, and as a man at his third festival in 6 weeks whos just about to have a ketamine and pink wine breakfast, my life has been far from ruined. I mean we spent his first 5 years living in Ibiza, its hardly been a decade of misery.

A lot of people change their life fit around the child, we worked our life to make room for a child. I couldnt imagine my life being any better than it is right now. I have the world.
 
I genuinely don't know anyone who thinks that having children 'ruined' their life but, by all accounts, it is a massive change. I guess some people fear change, especially what that change involves having a small person that you need to take care off.
 
I've met a few older people who never had kids and were more than happy with their choices. Never met anyone who regretted having them.

I wish I'd got my shit together earlier and maybe apodpted. I know it's not too late. But I love my godsons and nieces very much and teaching gives me some fantastic opportunities to dispell my wordly learnings and improve young lives. I certainly don't have to take them home.
 
Part of it for me (now) is an age thing. When I took my eldest great niece to London overnight a few months back, I was just utterly exhausted by the end of it. Having always to be ON and responsive to a child constantly asking questions and needing watching.

I don't know how introverted people cope as parents, but obviously they do. I suppose they do because they have to. And because I never have, I've allowed myself to drift very far the other way.
 
My children are my greatest achievement in life and I would not change a thing about either of them. I love them more than life itself, and feel my life is a lot richer for having had them. The unconditional love a parent feels for their child can not be matched.
 
I love and want kids of my own, but people who don’t want them becoming parents isn’t good for the kid or the parent, so I like the idea of society moving towards only having kids when you really want them, with less peer pressure
 
Star said:
I feel the same about those who have pets. As Rachey says, each to their own!
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Do you think you'll ever want a pet? Do your kids want them?

From my experience, children who have never had pets, grow up not wanting them. So I assume I love cats because I've always had them growing up 🤔
 
Rachey said:
Do you think you'll ever want a pet? Do your kids want them?

From my experience, children who have never had pets, grow up not wanting them. So I assume I love cats because I've always had them growing up 🤔
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I imagine we'll have some sort of hamster thing at some point! I think it's good for them. But I'm not a cat/dog person.
 
Star said:
I imagine we'll have some sort of hamster thing at some point! I think it's good for them. But I'm not a cat/dog person.
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Hamsters are good, don't go for a rabbit. They're shocking pets.

I totally get why people don't want cats or dogs. They're hard work and hairy. I won't be replacing heathcliff for some time when he goes. But at the same time, I can't imagine not having a pet.
 
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