1,001 ways the Olympics should be improved for LA 2028

[Madison]

1. Get rid for the ropes for climbing and replace with a pool.

 

[Soldi]

2. Team GB are automatically first in the medal table.

 

[ZenGiraffe]

3. Middle aged women singing at each other

 

[dmlaw]

4. Add a live tiger to the breakdancing arena.

 

[Soldi]

5. Move it to Europe

 

[AGinAg (37)]

4. Add a live tiger to the breakdancing arena.

6. Or a liger

 

[ZenGiraffe]

7. Replace the targets in archery with TERFs

 

[Soldi]

8. Make gay sex a new sport (but ban twinks)

 

[dmlaw]

9. Inspired by the breakdancing, judges at all other events should be required to demonstrate their own skills before the competitors perform.

 

[Madison]

10. Pommel horse to be performed on actual horses

 

[ZenGiraffe]

11. Pommel horse to be performed BY actual horses

 

[Soldi]

12. Rachey to light the cauldron

 

[Madison]

13. The cauldron to use actual fire

 

[Kratz]

14. A Melodifestivalen style voting sequence to decide silver and bronze medalists (with a fourth ‘Andra Chansen’ position in the event of an unfortunate positive Monge test).

 

[ILL ADVISED]

15. More climbing events (cliffhanger real life style)

 

[ILL ADVISED]

16. Kayak cross but with swords

 

[Madison]

17. Fencing on dry land, but in kayaks.

 

[ILL ADVISED]

18. Bring back squash

 

[ILL ADVISED]

19. Mud wrestling

 

[Madison]

20. Announce the permanent cancellation of squash and football at the closing ceremony.

 

[Tisch]

4. Add a live tiger to the breakdancing arena.

Make it an obese liger kool

 

[ButterTart]

21. Three legged race to be introduced as a sport Team GB can snatch an easy gold from

 

[Madison]

22. Bring back softball, but hold the matches in Oklahoma City

 

[Kratz]

23. Opening ceremony by the ‘imagination behind Una Voce Per San Marino…’

 

[AGinAg (37)]

24. Celebrity waffle stomp

 

[Tisch]

25. No more medals. Just a prize for all athletes having a nice time

 

[Kratz]

26. Tug of War.

This is a serious suggestion.

 

[Madison]

27. Gold medalists to be sequestered in a hotel for a week afterwards for selective breeding purposes.

 

[Tisch]

28. Kala to read out all results

 

[AGinAg (37)]

29. Only athletes with ambiguous gender.

 

[Madison]

27. Gold medalists to be sequestered in a hotel for a week afterwards for selective breeding purposes.

30. This, but televised on Discovery+ and OnlyFans.

 

[ButterTart]

31. National anthems during medal ceremonies to be replaced by a randomly allocated pop song for each country. For example, every South Korean gold is accompanied by a 30 second snippet of Gim’me Hope Joanna.

 

[Indie]

32. Introduce Extreme Ironing as a sport

 

[Madison]

33. If 23 or more of your national swim team tests positive for drugs, you can’t swim at the Olympics.

 

[Indie]

26. Tug of War.

This is a serious suggestion.

No!

Then GB might lose its record of having the most olympic golds in the sport

 

[funky]

34. Not having it in France

 

[Madison]

35. Taskmaster

 

[Indie]

36. Change the archery board to a darts board. Still use the same bow.

 

[funky]

8. Make gay sex a new sport (but ban twinks)

The self hate on display though

 

[funky]

37. Instead of countries make everyone compete under high school houses