Sunday has foreign object removed

[Sheena]

MORNING LOVES!

The latest excitement here is that some gay has just been admitted after inserting seven “foreign items” into his penis and only getting six out. Also overheard “I know I’ve been here before, but I promise you this is the last time and I’ve told him I’m not doing it again”.

Yes I got up for a wee to check if I knew him. I don’t. Also sadly, not hot.

 

[Shirley]

I was reading a quite ASTONISHING yearly summary of ITEMS that people had visited hospital to have RETRIEVED. I'll have to see if I can find it again

 

[Lucille]

MORNING LOVES!

The latest excitement here is that some gay has just been admitted after inserting seven “foreign items” into his penis and only getting six out. Also overheard “I know I’ve been here before, but I promise you this is the last time and I’ve told him I’m not doing it again”.

Yes I got up for a wee to check if I knew him. I don’t. Also sadly, not hot.

 

[octophone]

MORNING LOVES!

The latest excitement here is that some gay has just been admitted after inserting seven “foreign items” into his penis and only getting six out. Also overheard “I know I’ve been here before, but I promise you this is the last time and I’ve told him I’m not doing it again”.

Yes I got up for a wee to check if I knew him. I don’t. Also sadly, not hot.

I mean, I know people get BORED in between Christmas and New Year but at least see if there's something on the telly before you start shoving things up yr trouser snake...

 

[Sheena]

My nurse friend said it’s happening all the time. Straight have discovered it apparently.

AND THEY ALWAYS RUIN THINGS.

 

[Rachey]

7 items?! Good lord.

 

[Sheena]

Like, WHO HAS THE ROOM?

 

[big ron]

I'm not here to KINK SHAME, but my dick INVERTS at the thought of it.

 

[octophone]

I'm not here to KINK SHAME, but my dick INVERTS at the thought of it.

Which would at least make it easier to get the 'objects' back out...

 

[Apoca]

And it’s not even the seventh day of Christmas yet

Someone clearly got a little ahead of themselves.

 

[octophone]

"On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love shoved up meeeeee...."

 

[Lucille]

They’ve opened a GAIL’S in Crystal Palace.

 

[Agneeta]

I visited a GAILS in London last month. I wasn't especially impressed.

 

[Jark]

I remember Gail's being crap too. does our @CHEAP LUCY FAGGOT☃️🎄 live in Crystal Palace? I love it up there!!

 

[dmlaw]

I love it up there!!

That’s what the guy who Sheena met in the hospital thought, but it turned out not to be true.

 

[GNL]

GAIL'S isn't great. Why are the cakes so DAINTY? I'll have a big fuck-off slab of Tottenham cake from Greggs for half the price.

 

[Agneeta]

Currently consuming a sauerkraut, ham, brie and mustard bun.

Send veg now please.

 

[jyxz]

GAIL'S isn't great. Why are the cakes so DAINTY? I'll have a big fuck-off slab of Tottenham cake from Greggs for half the price.

TIL that Greggs have regional cakes

 

[Lucille]

I remember Gail's being crap too. does our @CHEAP LUCY FAGGOT☃️🎄 live in Crystal Palace? I love it up there!!

Yes I’m a South London diva now!

 

[Lucille]

It’s the size of an AIRPORT it’s grotesque!

 

[Rachey]

I quite like a Gail's, but then I don't get to go to one very often so I can't get too bored.

There's always uproar that there's no Greggs on the island. We actually looked into opening one, but apparently you have to open ten

 

[big ron]

Honestly never been more disappointed by anything more than a GAILS. Our area is crying out for a swanky middle class bakery and so I was excited when one was opening here. Dog shit.

 

[big ron]

We can get Pollen sourbough from across the road now though, but nothing beats the little polish bread market stall that pops up on Friday. Loads cheaper and made locally.

 

[Agneeta]

Oh God a close friend's husband has left her over Christmas. Men are fucking shit. And yes ALL MEN.

 

[Sheena]

I'm not here to KINK SHAME, but my dick INVERTS at the thought of it.

This is exactly me and I’ve done loads of crazy shit. Just absolutely not for me.

 

[Agneeta]

Just WHAT was up there? Does it rival the contents of Enya's handbag?

 

[Dark Carnival]

The thought of something (somethings!) shoved inside the penis instantly makes me grind my teeth

 

[Rachey]

Wait, was it put in the foreskin? Not actually up the penis itself

It's been a while since I've seen a penis so I need clarification.

 

[octophone]

I assumed we were talking up the urethra which is why my mind boggled re: the size and weight of the objects involved.

 

[Debbie Jellinsky]

Wait, was it put in the foreskin? Not actually up the penis itself

It's been a while since I've seen a penis so I need clarification.

Look up "sounding" Rachey (or don't...)

 

[Rachey]

Oh good lord I googled Sounding.

Now I'm even more shocked by the 7 objects. Does it really stretch that much?!

 

[lolly]

Oh good lord I googled Sounding.

Now I'm even more shocked by the 7 objects. Does it really stretch that much?!

Not that much, but I can get a four pint of milk and half a dozen eggs up mine if I've forgotten my bag for life.

 

[Agneeta]

Let's speculate wildly about what was up there.

A model railway set
A snow globe
A copy of Mein Kampf
A copy of Look At Me by Geri Halliwell
A Mary Berry recipe book
Sandie Shaw
Jaywick

 

[Dark Carnival]

Tinky Winky’s purse

 

[Lucille]

Rachey’s un-sold fudge.

 

[Shoat]

I bet GERU is the one item that refused to leave, and is still lodged up there

Anything for attention that one

 

[Joseph]

We CONSTANTLY get people at the hospital with foreign object in the ass/vagina/penis that get stuck.

The last exciting one was a guy was in the woods filming himself using a dildo attached to a metal pole and he “somehow” impaled himself with it and had to call 911 because he was stuck in the pole as it had perforated his bowel. It was all accidental of course lol

 

[GNL]

Sounding with an Engerland flag because you don't want no FOREIGN OBJECTS down there.

 

[Shirley]

The last exciting one was a guy was in the woods filming himself using a dildo attached to a metal pole

AS YOU DO

 

[Sheena]

Foreign object gay has just announced that he has a dairy allergy, he can’t tolerate gluten very well and anything with coconut in it makes him vomit.

AND YET YOU THOUGHT SHOVING THINGS DOWN YOUR COCK WAS OKAY?