Sardonicus reviews a bunch of old 45s

Transvision Vamp - Baby I Don't Care b/w Time For Change & Strings Of My Heart

UK chart peak - Number 3


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A snotty blend of pop punk & the image of a SULTRY SEX SIREN in lead singer Wendy James, Transvision Vamp formed in the mid 80s & after a couple of false starts, saw top 5 success in the UK in 1988 with a top 5 single in I Want Your Love & accompanying album Pop Art bubbling up the charts to Number 4, despite being dismissed as "decidedly average" by Patsy Kensit, of all people.

Ignoring this blatant attempt at BAITING from a POP RIVAL, Wend & the boys struck while the IRON WAS HOT & followed it up with second album Velveteen a year later along with a handful of hits, of which this one was biggest (& later covered in the early 2000s by Scouse actress Jennifer Ellison, but let's SWIFTLY MOVE ON from that.) It's the Vamp sound encapsulated in one 3 minutes ish single with a chorus designed to stick in your head & screech along to, lots of loud crunchy guitars & a LOUD vocal performance from Wendy, that I actually think they needed to spend a bit more time on - I find the screaming at the start unpleasant & ear-splitting, & her voice cracks here & there & seems to meander out of tune at times. I can only guess that they wanted to capture a raw, punky energy with it, & it made little difference to its success, getting a ton of radio play & reaching the top 3, with Velveteen giving them a number 1 album shortly after. Wendy cultivated a sexy image along with an eye for a quotable line (she once bet a music magazine that she'd win an Oscar within 10 years) & things were all going so well she was mentioned as the British answer to that CONNIVING TROLLOP MARGE. I'll also give the band extra credit for providing 2 different B sides on the single, both quieter & somewhat "lesser" songs than Baby I Don't Care, but also decent & giving the fans some proper VALUE FOR MONEY.

You'd think the next step for Wend & the boys to be an album that CONQUERED THE GLOBE, but here's where it all went wrong. Single I Just Wanna Be With You kept their signature sound, but with clear influences of the likes of Jesus Jones & The Happy Mondays - very ON TREND for 1991, but it struggled to number 30. Follow up If Looks Could Kill (recently shared by Vamp fan @BoysForSeles on the great songs passed their peak thread) was also good but flopped at 41, the band imploded & split in February 1992, & album 3 was never even released in the UK. One thing the record company SHOULD have done is insisted upon a different album title - Little Magnets vs The Bubble of Babble is an all-time WORST title & won't have helped with the snooty & sexist music press who became increasingly hostile (& somewhat misogynistic) towards Wendy & her sexually charged image.

It was actually guitarist Dave Parsons that went on to greater fame in the 90s as he joined grunge band Bush to huge American & reasonable British success. Wendy, meanwhile, wrote to Elvis Costello in 1992 asking what she should do, & was rewarded with him writing a full album just for her. Opening single The Nameless One has a class video (she looks as beautiful as ever) plus is a quality mix of grunge & Britpop - sadly it again struggled to number 34, the follow-up flopped, & after once having an IRON FOCUS on fame, Wendy disappeared from the public eye for years on end. I believe she's also effectively disowned this album & it ain't available on Spotify.

She re-emerged with a new group, Racine, in the 2000s & some solo albums up to the present day, but she's also been rather vague & circumspect about why she went away for so long - I suspect there might be more to the story than she's telling, or perhaps she got fed up with the music press trashing her as a talentless bimbo. Posing for her 2018 album with her tits out on the cover shows she still likes using her sex appeal to shock, & last year she reformed the Vamp with Dave & 2 new members - but rather like Lady Miss Kier of Deee-Lite, she's a pop icon that deserved more success & time in the spotlight than she got.
 
I’ve actually met Wendy three times, twice within a work context in a previous role where she approached us for help with something and once at an in store album promo gig for one of the solo albums.

She is really friendly, intelligent and articulate. She absolutely knew what she was doing in her TVV days and let’s just say despite the glam image she was a bona fide indierock chick and has lived a life that you might expect in line with that.
 
I’ve actually met Wendy three times, twice within a work context in a previous role where she approached us for help with something and once at an in store album promo gig for one of the solo albums.

She is really friendly, intelligent and articulate. She absolutely knew what she was doing in her TVV days and let’s just say despite the glam image she was a bona fide indierock chick and has lived a life that you might expect in line with that.
Has she disowned the Elvis Costello album?
 
Has she disowned the Elvis Costello album?
She’s not a fan of it, did disown it but now accepts its place in her career. She said she realised a lot of the lyrics were directly about her and she found them quite nasty when she looked back on it but also said it made her determined it would be the last time she’d ever sing songs someone else had written for her.
 
Undercover - Baker Street b/w Sha-Bang

UK chart peak - Number 2


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A prime example of how a great song shows VERSATILITY (Copyright ©️ Michelle Visage) - after huge success on both sides of the Atlantic in its original, AOR form by writer Gerry Rafferty, Undercover did, indeed, undercover the song's bouncier, dancier side with this none more 1992 dance version, kept off the top spot only by an even more 1992 dance classic in Rhythm Is A Dancer by Snap!

OUR GERRY's original had remained a radio FAVE, especially with DJs of a CERTAIN AGE, since the late 70s & was also the subject of a persistent, yet sadly untrue, rumour that Blockbusters host Bob Holness played the hugely recognisable saxophone solo - surely still the best known sax bit in any major hit. Undercover kept that bit - how could you NOT - & really the song is remarkably similar to the original - it's just been sped up a bit & given a boppier piano-y dance beat - a sound all the rage at the time after the likes of Where Love Lives by Alison Limerick. It was a clever choice for Undercover to meld the ON TREND sound to an established MOR classic, & they were duly rewarded with huge radio play along with one of the top 15 biggest sellers of the year. B side Sha-Bang again shows how the band had their ear to what was happening on the dance scene, with this mainly instrumental track sounding like a gentler rave tune, & also a bit like MOOPY FAVES Alex Party at times.

The next single was another top 5 hit, with another well known late 70s MOR STAPLE, Never Let Her Slip Away by Andrew Gold, given the same pop dance piano treatment as Baker Street, & rewarded with another top 5 hit & mass radio play. Lovely as that song was though, diminishing returns were going to end up setting in quickly, & going back to the same formulaic well for single 3, with a cover of I Wanna Stay With You by Gallagher & Lyle, could only scrape the top 30. I do seem to remember they started getting criticism for the lack of original material too, so they attempted a change of direction in late 1993 with an original composition, Lovesick, but it flopped & no wonder - a quick YouTube listen shows it up as generic as fuck even for them.

Vocalist John Matthews is apparently still doing the chicken in a basket circuit as Undercover to this day, but it's actually keyboardist Steve Mac who went on to greater success as a producer, with over 30 UK number 1 hits to his credit to the present day. Yeah their big moment was a NOTHING NEW ABOUT THIS cover, but it's so OF THAT TIME I still smile when I hear it & that sax solo CANNOT BE DENIED.
 
It does what it does. I don't really like it but I can't be bothered to hate it. Give me GERRY any day.

I don't much like 'Never Let Her Slip Away' in any form though. Reminds me of the first year at university when the RUGBY-PLAYING PRIVATE SCHOOL BOY on the STAIRCASE used to play it (and ONLY it) and TOP VOLUME at RANDOM TIMES
 
I don’t mind either song but never loved them. It all felt a bit Kenny Thomas.
 
Rafferty hated it. Hated it. I remember from the time and sure enough, he apparently called their version "dreadful" and "totally banal". I'm with Gerry.
 
Well, he appears to be playing a gig this summer near to a notorious gay cruising ground in Morden. Moopy outing and after 'party'?
 
KENNY IS HAPPILY MARRIED WITH FOUR CHILDREN

I always thought he was a bit FRUITY back in the day. WISHFUL THINKING
 
I always found him a bit SMARMY. And borderline Redcoat.

Kenny or Undercover or BOTH? Because that's the point I was making. Also, with OUR KEN, it all felt a bit "middle class white boy does bland soul to make it palatable for the Tesco buying crowd". Which is probably why funky liked him. :D

As Saint Etienne wanted to sing but chickened out in their working title for their eventual "People Get Real" single, "Kenny Get Real....". (Sample lyric " Don't tell me this is soulful, well you have to be, have to be kidding me on".)
 
Kenny or Undercover or BOTH? Because that's the point I was making. Also, with OUR KEN, it all felt a bit "middle class white boy does bland soul to make it palatable for the Tesco buying crowd". Which is probably why funky liked him. :D

As Saint Etienne wanted to sing but chickened out in their working title for their eventual "People Get Real" single, "Kenny Get Real....". (Sample lyric " Don't tell me this is soulful, well you have to be, have to be kidding me on".)

Kenny - exactly what you said. Calculated and inauthentic with more than a touch of the Pellows.
 
It feels like he was intended by the record company as a male equivalent to Lisa Stansfield, the difference being it was very calculated with him.
 
Kenny - exactly what you said. Calculated and inauthentic with more than a touch of the Pellows.
'Marti Pellow tours as a solo artist. He is also performing as Scrooge in Scrooge the Musical. This show runs at the SEC Armadillo in Glasgow from December 2026 into January 2027'.

That Man Has Suffered Enough Now.
 
Just like to point out I NEVER SAID I LIKED THE MUSIC

Anyway I've always had QUESTIONABLE TASTE in ALL THINGS :D
 
MN8 - I've Got A Little Something For You (Radio Version b/w Bad Boy Stripped Down Mix)

UK chart peak - Number 2


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A girl at high school stood up on the school bus & sang "I've got an abscess on my fanny" to the chorus of this then hit & I've never been able to hear the song without substituting the actual lyrics for THAT since :(

Anyhow, are MN8 the first all black British boy band? I certainly can't recall anyone before them, as they teamed up with First Avenue - busily writing hits for acts such as Eternal, Michelle Gayle & Dina Carroll at the time - & launched the with this top class slice of bump & grind RAUNCH at the very tail end of 1994, with it rising all the way up to finish behind only Celine Dion & Think Twice in the early part of 1995. There were times when British slabs at this sort of American, sweat drenched sweaty bedroom soul stuff could seem very CUT PRICE in comparison, but I've Got... is right up there with the best the US had to offer at the time. The song is FILTH from the lyrics to the vocal delivery to the backing track to the end rap bit & it's rather ahead of its time. The likes of Dru Hill, Next & Az Yet would be experiencing monstrous US success a couple of years later with very similar vibes. Getting in P Diddy for one of his first remixes on the B side, shortly before his production career took off with the Notorious BIG's debut later in 1995, also shows how the whole package had been well thought out to be cooler & sexier than the clean cut Take That types around & it was also featured in the Will Smith film, Bad Boys. I was AGOG to discover that none of this led to a WHIFF of success in the States, not even an entry at the lower end of the R&B charts. Shame, as it's got the sound of a song that should do well there & it's one of the earliest examples I can think of British R&B - outside of Soul II Soul - doing something new & innovative rather than just aping our American cousins.

There's not a whole lot of information on the band out there regarding what happened next, but the next 2 singles, If You Only Let Me In & Happy, were WAY POPPIER & STAIDER, despite both reaching the top 10. I can't prove it but it all just feels like the record company wanted things toned down a NOTCH to avoid offending the old dears/racists out there (I can only imagine what our dear departed @Mary Whitehouse would have said about this DISGRACE - after watching the shirtless grinding in the video IN FULL, OF COURSE :basil:)

MN8 released their 2nd album in late 1996, but I've no recollection of the lead single, Tuff Act To Follow. A quick YouTube PERUSAL reveals another decent stab at Dru Hill style raunch but it came & went quickly with seemingly little promotion. One more minor hit & MN8 were toast & forgotten about by mid 1997. It's rather telling that Damage hit the charts as MN8 faded - as though there was CONSENSUS amongst the BIGWIGS that only one black boy band could be successful at a time, whereas there was room for Take That, Boyzone, East 17 & a bunch of cruddy also rans. The group split in 1999 & despite some talk about a reunion & 3rd album, nothing has materialised, not even anything on the likes of The Big Reunion shows. A real shame - they could & should have continued as pioneers of grinding BEDROOM SOUL like this debut, & I suspect record company interference tells more THAN HALF THE TALE.

Now altogether now:

I've got an ABCESS on my FANNY
And I'll give you just 3 guesses to figure out, where it is...

:(
 
Sorry, I was confusing them with someone else. Not Damage - MN8.
 
The Pasadenas?

I guess it depends how far back you go to class a boy band. The Real Thing were late 70s…
 
A quick Moopy search reveals @Ellie to be the closest thing to a resident MN8 fan - any idea what happened to them to cause their rapid descent out the charts?
:D About every 5 or so years I remember them and look some of them up.

Kule-T appears to be active on Instagram and has solo music, but I’d prefer a new series of The Big Reunion featuring them.

 
Mel & Kim - Respectable b/w Instrumental

UK chart peak - Number 1


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I've kept putting off doing this one as I recently listened to the A Journey Through SAW podcast dedicating a whole episode to the production & release of Respectable & really what more is there to say? If anyone hasn't listened, it's a brilliantly thorough explanation of how the song came about, the recording process, the video & a whole bunch more from Mike Stock, Kim Appleby & a bunch of others.

That's obviously the comprehensive & definitive review of the song - instead I'll try HONE IN on how Mel & Kim were the most :disco: act of their time, with SAW using their streetwise attitudes & sayings to create some of their earliest crossovers from R&B/dancey stuff with the likes of Princess & Dead Or Alive to more out & out pure pop stuff that'd be perfected later with everyone from Rick Astley to Kylie, Jason, Sonia & countless others.

What makes Mel & Kim's stuff so PROPER GOOD even now though is that it's not PRODUCTION LINE, glistening pop perfection. It's a little rougher round the ages, as SAW worked on sounds & production techniques still newer to them, & even better used the girls as actual MUSES to create the songs in studio with them - with their saying "Fucking Lovely Mate" becoming FLM & Respectable being a RIPOSTE to the haters critical of Mel's early nude modelling career pics being released. It really does create a sound unique & quite special to them, & as the PWL stable grew, it wasn't something that the trio were able to (or perhaps disinterested in) doing with later acts.

Debut single Showing Out hit the top 3 in late 1986, & its dark clubby sound & stop-start juddering beats must have sounded pretty alien at the time in a world before the likes of even Jack Your Body & M/A/R/R/S had charted. It's a proper exciting, innovative record that gives a nod to the growing house music scene in the clubs & Respectable took the sound & gave it all more of a poppier, commercial push. The 'tay-tay-tay' bits before the chorus were a joke left in at Pete Waterman's (correct) insistence that it was POP MAGIC, & what might have started as an equally clubby follow-up became a catchy radio hit that blew up to reach number 1 in mid 1987. The girls became proper pop stars & it was all going swimmingly, until Mel disappeared from the public eye a few weeks after the song reached the top.

A back injury was blamed, but the rumours of sickness spread as a (terrible) video was released for FLM without the girls featured, & Mel eventually confirmed a battle with brain cancer on a chat show in early 1988. A final single, That's The Way It Is, was produced & scraped into the top 10 - it's a great track, but with limited promotion & bigger concerns it didn't do as well as it could have done, although it did ensure Mel & Kim became one of the few acts to see every release reach the UK Top 10. As the disease worsened, the whole project went on hold & Mel sadly lost her fight with cancer in January 1990, at a mere 23 :( You could tell from Mike Stock's interview with the podcast that her death still affected him, & I don't think any of SAW ever fully got over it. It's horrible just how abrupt & shortened it all was - she was ill a few weeks after the thrill of reaching number 1. Their influence is all over everyone from Fuzzbox to the Spice Girls to Girls Aloud, & surely things would have carried on to longer success than a mere year, with or without SAW.

Kim got her solo career off to a stellar beginning with Don't Worry & G.L.A.D. but by album 2 in 1993 the hits fizzled out & even a decent reunion with Stock & Aitken on her final charting single, Free Spirit, couldn't get her another hit. Perhaps Kim was never too enthused being a solo act anyway, the sense always was there that she felt Mel was missing. Still active on the nostalgia circuit, as a talking head on various documentaries & an intelligent & articulate lady, but we'll always all wonder what could have been.
 
Whigfield - Saturday Night (Radio Mix b/w Radio Nite Mix/Nite Mix)

UK chart peak - Number 1


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DIDDY DA DA DA?

A catchy chorus about heading for a night on the town; a gently lolloping keyboard riff & a housey synth; a dance routine that's picked up in 5 minutes flat & easy for even the most UNCOORDINATED; what sounds suspiciously like a duck saying WANK repeatedly at the start; Saturday Night truly is the ultimate holiday song, still, with appeal to everyone other than perhaps your REAL MUSIC MISERIES.

I've still never known a song, apart from perhaps The Ketchup Song, be quite so UBIQUITOUS on a holiday & so totally associated with the summer. I was with family at Cala D'Or that year, & it was rinsed so thoroughly around the hotel & every bar in the area ON THE DAILY we were all sickened of it by the time we were home. In the pre-Internet era, though, we never even found out the name of the artist while we were there! It was known to all as 'that Saturday Night song' & it wasn't until it was finally released in the UK in September that a name & face was put to the singer - step forward Sannie Carlson aka Whigfield, allegedly named after her music teacher & Denmark's finest (only?) chart topping hitmaker.

Keeping it on hold until September was a genius marketing move from the record company. Not only did it give people time for the overplay annoyance to wear off, but as autumn set in & the kids returned to school, suddenly there was the single that had soundtracked the summer just gone. With music channels like The Box increasing in popularity, it was given major airplay, introducing Whigfield in a getting ready for a night out video that matched the song JUST RIGHT, & it enabled demand for the song to reach a fever pitch that enabled OUR WHIGGY to become the first ever act to debut at number 1 in the UK chart with her first single - in the days when that actually meant something. It knocked Wet Wet Wet off the top after 15 weeks, despite WWW increasing their sales by almost 40k that week. I wouldn't be surprised if the increase was people buying it to keep 'that squeaky pop trash' off the top - because of course WWW staying at number 1 for a 16th week with a 60s cover is going to SAVE MUSIC :manson:

Regardless it stayed at the top for 4 weeks & it truly is just joyous, FUN FOR EUROPE pop dance that they don't make 'em like anymore. I always smile when I hear it, & it's been constructed by a producer that knows what he's doing when it comes to crafting a lovable holiday hit - Larry Pignagnoli, who'd penned & produced the SEMINAL Call Me for Spagna in 1987. Larry helped produce another Eurodance sensation, 2 Times by Ann Lee in 1999, although I've always considered that one to be TWEE BOLLOCKS.

Saturday Night was a MONSTER across the continent, staying at number 1 in Spain for 11 weeks, although it didn't do anything in America, with Eurodance successes few & far between there. It even only scraped the top 20 in Hot Dance Club Play. OUR WHIGGY released a follow-up, Another Day, which was basically a rejig of Saturday Night & slowly climbed to number 7 - I've always had a soft spot for the soundalike follow-up like this. 3rd single Think Of You had some :ken: lyrics, but despite a top 10 showing, it didn't get near the airplay abroad that Saturday Night had, & I do remember feeling like that was her moment passing already. A couple of lesser hits later (including a godawful cover of Wham's Last Christmas) & OFF SHE POPPED, although she's doing your Prides & 90s circuits to this day, & was releasing the odd single to an - entirely disinterested - public as recently as 2018. She was never going to match the cultural impact of her debut, but she doesn't need to - it's POP PERFECTION.
 
As an aside, what was WITH dance labels always releasing singles with covers like this? I can understand if it's for some faceless dance act like ATB, but you've got a photogenic girl fronting this & a still from the video would make an ideal cover. Instead we get... some COGS.
 
Now I LOVE a bit of WHIGGY. But her hit of choice, of course, was the quite ridiculous SEXY EYES



OOH OOH AH AH SEXY EYES
I WANNA TAKE YOU TO PARADISE
HEY HEY HA HA LOOK AT ME
YOU GOT ME FEELING FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

:disco:
 
As an aside, what was WITH dance labels always releasing singles with covers like this? I can understand if it's for some faceless dance act like ATB, but you've got a photogenic girl fronting this & a still from the video would make an ideal cover. Instead we get... some COGS.

Wasn't it because she WAS a faceless dance singer when it was released first? They probably didn't expect it to be huge and so didn't have all that promo in place.

There were rumours she didn't actually sing most of the stuff and it was Ann Lee of Two Times fame.
 
(And yes, I hate Two Times for the same reason you do)
 
Now I LOVE a bit of WHIGGY. But her hit of choice, of course, was the quite ridiculous SEXY EYES



OOH OOH AH AH SEXY EYES
I WANNA TAKE YOU TO PARADISE
HEY HEY HA HA LOOK AT ME
YOU GOT ME FEELING FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

:disco:

I hadn't heard this until relatively recently and I don't understand WHY it wasn't HUGE
 
Soho - Hippychick b/w Taxi

UK chart peak - Number 8


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Yet another MISHEARD LYRICS CALAMITY - I spent years singing "got no flowers for your bonk" rather than "your gun" to the chorus of this long forgotten top 10 hit - not that the lyrics make much sense either way - & "I stopped loving you since the miner's strike" immediately places this as a record referencing then recentish events of GENERATIONS AGO now.

Hippychick is chiefly remembered, & likely took off as a hit, due to its sampling of How Soon Is Now by The Smiths. That shimmering, windy guitar solo did suggest something dancier on the original & Soho took that & put it to great use. It's not just a LAZY LIFT, it actually gives what would have been an otherwise indie-dance also ran a bit of DEPTH & HEFT, it fits in brilliantly with the beat & it gave people a bit of an ushering towards the dancefloor - but in a more chilled, easygoing manner than the likes of Black Box. It was catchy & twin front women Jacqueline & Pauline Cuff stood out too - there's not many identical twins out there fronting bands, & even less with haircuts that crossed snippets of curly hair with a shaved back & sides :D

Sampling was still in its early days when Hippychick was released in 1990, & lawsuits & discussions about royalties were still FLYING ABOUT left & right. Therefore it's credited to Johnny Marr despite the guitar sample forming only one part of the whole, & I imagine it's likely the band had to give up songwriting royalties on their only hit, which seems a bit unfair :( It scraped to number 67 on release & it wouldn't be surprising to hear if Soho were derided as lazy imitators ripping off another band's song. It's actually a little ahead of its time in that aspect, although the rest of its musical style places it firmly in the 1990/91 era - nonetheless though, a top tune, a nice amalgamation of dance, pop & indie, the girls sing some lovely harmonies & when I rediscovered it a couple of years ago I was delighted that it still maintained its CHARMS.

B side Taxi gives us more of the same chugging guitar dance but less memorable, which also goes for all of Soho's follow up singles - Love Generation, Out Of My Mind & Ride. None of these troubled the top 75, & although they're nothing STANDOUT, all are well sung & serviceable - a couple of appearances in the lower rungs of the top 40 should surely have been achievable.

I figured this might have been due to a lack of promotion due to Soho promoting Hippychick over in the USA - where it, rather stunningly, reached 14 on the Hot 100, 2 on the dance chart & 11 on the alternative chart. But no! It turns out that Hippychick actually took off there first after its initial UK flop. With The Smiths not being a major band over there, I'd assume it happened via DJs giving it a spin in the clubs without any backlash about the sample, & turned into a surprise smash. This success is obviously what led to its re-release in the UK, but it then doesn't explain why Soho couldn't buy even a minor hit after. Their only other chart appearance was as guest vocalists on a blah Adamski single, Born To Be Alive (no relation to the old Patrick Hernandez disco hit) peaking at 51.

The dumper BECKONED for the Sisters Cuff soon after, & despite the whole band collaborating on a 2017 electronic music group, Iklan, they've long disappeared into obscurity - with their only big success seeing the royalties go to Johnny Marr, & only one notable success making it difficult to try working the nostalgia circuits, I can only presume it was a return to the REAL WORLD, PROPER JOBS & PAYING BILLS. You deserved a little longer in the pop sunshine than this BRIEFEST of moments, girls.
 

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