Sunday reverses back over Debi Mazar to make sure.

I was promised rain but I haven't had a DROP :(

Just trying to buy some TEA TOWELS, who says there's no FUN TO BE HAD
 
We had a bit of spit earlier but really need more. The common isn’t remotely green anymore 😞
 
Our lawn mower is fucked, so I'm quite pleased the grass hasn't grown.

I did plant a new shrub around the side of the house about 6 weeks ago, largely forgot about it and it's pretty much dead now :(
 
We've had rain during the night, it's been bashing down all morning and is continuing to do so. You'll all be pleased to know that my gutter repair held.
 
Sometime around 2pm on Tuesday, someone switched my 'arsed' chip off and I can't quite get the bugger switched on again. But I probably need a 'nothing' weekend, especially since the city was a bloody war zone yesterday.
 
I'm full of fucking cold- which actually feels worse than that. I had a cold earlier in the week, which had gone, but started feeling weird yesterday, so now wondering if it's Covid or something.

Why does my body run on adrenaline and DIE the minute I EVER have time off? It's NOT FUCKING FAIR.
 
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It stopped raining. I did a trade in for some old sampling kit because i’m trying to be more sensible with spending and not just leave things I don’t use anymore gathering dust in cupboards.

Otherwise - I just really want some dumplings right now,
 
I had to go to town today (to return something and buy presents for my nieces) and it was fucking mental, large groups of language students, tourists and festival crowds everywhere. Of course I have a headache now.
 
As soon as the six week holiday began, my body and mind hit a wall. I was full of energy and joy before and now I'm listless, and while not depressed, my mood is considerably flatter.

It's weird because it's not like I work every day during term.

Last summer I fell into a wild mania, and started terrible behaviours (spending drinking etc), which included my account here being deleted.

I concede there's absolutely something else at play which remains undiagnosed, as I now recognise the peaks as just as damaging as the lows.
 
Sheena said:
Are we? Mr Sheena never has that.
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It's really common for running on adrenaline for extended periods to result in an immune system crash when you stop to breathe, yes. After your work hours and travelling recently it doesn't strike me as at all surprising.
 
I went to lovely HEBDEN BRIDGE this afternoon. it was largely grey and wet, as is appropriate for the Calder valley whatever the weather elsewhere in the country (or even in the north).
 
Agneeta said:
When my undergrad ended I fell into a depression within hours.
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Try getting outside, get some walks in, it's easy to spiral, and it's human, but if you know behaviour and it worries you then sometimes trying a relatively small change up can be a good place to start. It's easier said than done obviously - but forewarned is forearmed.
 
ExcitableWoof said:
Try getting outside, get some walks in, it's easy to spiral, and it's human, but if you know behaviour and it worries you then sometimes trying a relatively small change up can be a good place to start. It's easier said than done obviously - but forewarned is forearmed.
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I know what to do, I've been contending with whatever the swinging moods are since I was a teenager. It's just when the mood really sinks, I rarely stray beyond my bed.
 
Agneeta said:
When my undergrad ended I fell into a depression within hours.
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Try doing something that makes you happy each day. Even if it's as simple as listening to your favourite song(s) or going for a leisurely walk. Hope you feel better soon.
 
Agneeta said:
As soon as the six week holiday began, my body and mind hit a wall. I was full of energy and joy before and now I'm listless, and while not depressed, my mood is considerably flatter.

It's weird because it's not like I work every day during term.

Last summer I fell into a wild mania, and started terrible behaviours (spending drinking etc), which included my account here being deleted.

I concede there's absolutely something else at play which remains undiagnosed, as I now recognise the peaks as just as damaging as the lows.
Click to expand...
I think to feel flat for periods at a time is also normal. my mood goes with the weather pretty much all the time. once the heatwave was over and the sky turned grey I was suddenly super flat. maybe for some people it's more cyclical. but if you're not depressed - and you do know what more serious depression feels like - I think this is normal and fine no?

sometimes when I feel very flat I try to diagnose why I'm not "happy" or why I suddenly don't have the energy to wake up and go for a run. I think we're all very conditioned to always feel good or always be hard at work on some project or reaching for some goal... maybe it's very ok just to have a few weeks of summer where you're listless and/or fucking bored.
 
Jark said:
I think to feel flat for periods at a time is also normal. my mood goes with the weather pretty much all the time. once the heatwave was over and the sky turned grey I was suddenly super flat. maybe for some people it's more cyclical. but if you're not depressed - and you do know what more serious depression feels like - I think this is normal and fine no?

sometimes when I feel very flat I try to diagnose why I'm not "happy" or why I suddenly don't have the energy to wake up and go for a run. I think we're all very conditioned to always feel good or always be hard at work on some project or reaching for some goal... maybe it's very ok just to have a few weeks of summer where you're listless and/or fucking bored.
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Yeah the start of the holidays tied in with the greying of the skies.

I have come to accept there are good days and bad days, but the shifts can be quite radical and the behaviour can become quite extreme. I think I've just come off a huge high and the dip feels worse than it actually is.

I've now stopped exercising, the drinking has continued, which is it's own issue and my eating habits have gone to shit. I have read that the mood stabilisers I'm on can make the highs get out of hand.

Basically I've now identified the highs can be as problematic as the lows. In therapy we've discussed finding a middle, but I certainly feel a descent into hopelessness at the moment that's beyond my control. Although I have a few techniques that I learned in CBD to fend off my worst tendencies.

Sadly I can't write off these six weeks, the way I already write off Jan/Feb.
 
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