1,001 ways the Olympics should be improved for LA 2028

[AGinAg (37)]

68. 100m Wordle (and friends)

 

[funky]

67. All Summer Olympic events to be performed on ice.

69. Calling it the Sumner Olympics

 

[Madison]

70. Drag synchronised 10m diving. The divers have to wear drag, and then drag up a random spectator with a ‘family resemblance’. The winner inevitably is the one that uses the least imagination and is the closest in race and height to the spectator, but we don’t talk about it.

 

[AGinAg (37)]

69. Calling it the Sumner Olympics

The sheer impact of New Order on my autocorrect.

 

[Inner Smile]

We’ve got four years to finish it.

You might

 

[AGinAg (37)]

71. All athletes must compete in one other event, chosen at random.

 

[VoR]

72. Award the last-placed competitor in each event with a medal.

 

[AGinAg (37)]

73. Bring back medals for town planning

 

[AGinAg (37)]

74. Disco weightlifting

 

[Inner Smile]

Give other people a chance Ag

 

[AGinAg (37)]

Give other people a chance Ag

FUCK OFF

 

[Madison]

Give other people a chance Ag

Please don’t.

 

[AGinAg (37)]

75. The Masked Athletes. Participants must dress up as toasters and squirrels etc while competing. Extra points if Rita Ora doesn't know who you are.

 

[Madison]

76. Surgical events. 32 top surgeons compete to complete surgeries with points based on time taken, effectiveness of surgery and musicality. Round 1: Appendectomy, Semi-final: Circumcision, Final: Oesophagectomy

 

[Inner Smile]

FUCK OFF

Community chest then?

 

[VoR]

77. Have one random competitor in each event be introduced as ”The Hilarious…[insert name]”

 

[AGinAg (37)]

78. Toddler beauty contests.

 

[Madison]

79. Opening ceremony to be held in a stadium

 

[Inner Smile]

80. Joan Collins to particapate

 

[ILL ADVISED]

81. Tiddlywinks

 

[ILL ADVISED]

82. Battle Royale

 

[Inner Smile]

83. The Corrs to open next ceremony

 

[AGinAg (37)]

84. Matt Baker to be electrocuted every time he mentions Simone Biles.

 

[Inner Smile]

85. EastEnders theme tune for the final contestants

 

[GNL]

86. Mario & Sonic to return to the Olympic Games

 

[Madison]

87. Mountain biking to take place on an actual mountain or, with the IOC’s dispensation, a volcano.

 

[GNL]

88. Introduce a televote which makes up half the score of every sport

 

[Inner Smile]

88. Introduce a televote which makes up half the score of every sport

You're better than this

 

[Tisch]

89. Simone Biles to be electrocuted every time she mentions Matt Baker

 

[straightorbroken]

90. A DILF (post-forties daddies) category for every event.

 

[Shoat]

91. The closing ceremony to feature every competing athlete taking it in turns to lip sync to Heather Small's "Proud"

 

[Tisch]

92. And Heather Proud's "Small"

 

[Dark Carnival]

93. Voguing

 

[Shoat]

94. The IOC to be replaced by Handforth Parish Council

 

[Tisch]

95. Synchronised swimming replaced with a classic BB series on repeat

 

[Debbie Jellinsky]

96. Make death dropping an Olympic discipline

 

[Madison]

97. The mystery gold - a gold medal is hidden somewhere in the Olympic Park. The first to find it wins.

 

[octophone]

98.

Water polo but on crocodiles.

 

[Tisch]

99. All gold medallists to be interviewed by Konnie Huq

 

[octophone]

64. 1m relay.

I'm still laughing at this 10 minutes after reading it. Quality.