1,001 ways the Olympics should be improved for LA 2028

[Tisch]

100. BEES!

 

[dmlaw]

101. Medal table to be ranked by the number of bronzes won.

 

[Madison]

102. An extra two bonus points in taekwondo if you kick someone’s head off.

 

[Debbie Jellinsky]

103, Have Madonna perform in a cape

 

[Tisch]

104. Gold, silver and bronze replaced with different coloured slime, which is released via a lever pulled by Dave Benson Phillips to the amusement of the studio audience

 

[jyxz]

105. Have Geoff Capes perform as Madonna

 

[octophone]

106.

Hologram of John Anderson shouting "CONTENDER READY!" AT THE START OF EVERY EVENT.

 

[Shoat]

107. Have the top 20 medal table countries progress to a final round of constructing the ugliest brutalist building they can in 7 days.

 

[ILL ADVISED]

108. Cheese rolling

 

[Tisch]

109. Cheese eating

 

[GNL]

110. Replace 'Breaking' with 'Tik Tok Dancing'

 

[Tisch]

111. Replace all national anthems with "A Little Bit Alexis"

 

[Tisch]

112. Replace all national anthems with the Pokémon Johto theme

 

[ZenGiraffe]

113. Pokémon battles

 

[ButterTart]

114. Have the commentator for every women’s diving event say ‘quite big tits’ the moment before the dive.

 

[GNL]

115. The country with the fewest medals each day gets eliminated and has to send all their athletes home

 

[Shoat]

116. The country with the most medals each day gets to nominate another country's team to be sent to Jessie J's abbattoir

 

[funky]

117. After every podium ceremony have the medal winners turn to the other contestants while “Loser” by Beck plays over the speakers

 

[AGinAg (37)]

118. Pong Jump, athletes must jump over an open sewer.

 

[AGinAg (37)]

119. Wrong Jump, athletes must jump over hurdles head first

 

[AGinAg (37)]

120. Dong Jump as seen recently

 

[GNL]

118. Pong Jump, athletes must jump over an open sewer.

121. Kong Jump, athletes must jump over a series of barrels thrown by a large and angry monkey

 

[AGinAg (37)]

122. Mong Jump, Mongolians only

Not what you thought you nasty bitch.

 

[AGinAg (37)]

123. Bong Jump, after inhaling a very strong purple haze bong

 

[Nancy]

124. ASFM to become an Olympic event

 

[Nancy]

125. Squeaky Boards. Where you have to walk across a long hall with squeaky floorboards without making any noise.

 

[Debbie Jellinsky]

126. Have drag queens reenact Jesus' birth, crucifixion and resurrection

 

[Nancy]

127. Laurence Fox Hunting

 

[AGinAg (37)]

128. Olympic rioting.

 

[Joseph]

129. LESS cowbell

 

[Shoat]

130. Participating nations to introduce themselves in Hollyoaks-style opening credits.

Each team may only include a maximum of 2 serial killers at any time.

 

[ZenGiraffe]

131. @funky being in charge of any and all Olympics 2028 announcements

 

[ZenGiraffe]

132. An Olympics 2028 reunion hosed by Andy Cohen

 

[AGinAg (37)]

132. An Olympics 2028 reunion hosed by Andy Cohen

 

[GNL]

133. Introduce the Haglympics, which is the Olympics but everyone is over 30

 

[Joseph]

134. Mixed Piss Streaming

 

[big ron]

135. Synchronised ketamine

 

[Joseph]

136. Chipmunk wrestling

 

[dmlaw]

137. The French national anthem to be replaced by the sound balloons make when you rub them.

 

[ILL ADVISED]

138. All men must have beards and chest hair