101 ways to get rid of unwanted houseguests

[AlgoAlex]

Suggestions for @Star

1. Play a Boyzone song very loudly

 

[GNL]

2. Loudly ask for ways to get rid of unwanted guests

 

[AGinAg (37)]

3. Cum in the turkey

 

[AGinAg (37)]

4. Spit on nan

 

[AGinAg (37)]

5. Cum in nan

 

[Finn]

6. READ THEM THE BIBLE

 

[AlgoAlex]

7. Tell them that Liz Truss had good ideas but they just weren't executed properly

 

[ZenGiraffe]

8. Play a song that begins SEXY CONFIDENT

 

[dmlaw]

9. Start watching episodes of ‘Meet the Rees-Moggs’.

 

[Star]

And the whole 'oh do you have anything to eat? We're a bit hungry'.

Well if I had known you were coming round for dinner

 

[Joseph]

10.

Do THE DONALD

 

[AlgoAlex]

11. Tell guests there is no food

 

[AlgoAlex]

12. Turn the power off at the fusebox. Tell them you can't fix it

 

[Ellie]

13. Read out Azalea Banks’ Twitter feed

 

[octophone]

14. "You'll need to excuse us, we've got to get the goat ready for the sacrifice...are you coming to the heath at midnight?"

 

[octophone]

15. "Oh, since you're here, make yourself useful, I've had terrible trouble reaching this one hemorrhoid with the ointment, you're not allergic to latex, are you?"

 

[ZenGiraffe]

16.

 

[Tisch]

17. Get your child to demonstrate their many many many noisy presents

 

[ZenGiraffe]

18. Point out that one of your guests has high body count hair

 

[K.C.]

19. Invite Inner Smile

 

[K.C.]

20. Serve them HAGGIS

 

[octophone]

21. "I'll be with you in a sec, I'm just in a gay chat lounge looking at pictures of sexy dogs..."

Oh, what too soon?

 

[K.C.]

22. Bring up your incontinence while serving the meatballs.

 

[Kratz]

23. Tell them you don’t have the necessary planning permission

 

[Kratz]

24. Ask them if they have made any plans for Una Voce per San Marino

 

[K.C.]

25. Just fart lots

 

[ZenGiraffe]

26. Serve them your finest MONGE

 

[K.C.]

26. Give out copies of Mein Kampf

 

[ZenGiraffe]

26. Give out copies of Mein Kampf

This will backfire on your old racist uncle

 

[wildchild]

28. Lure them out to watch the fireworks you arranged and just lock the doors

 

[GNL]

29. Arrange fireworks indoors and just lock the doors

 

[GNL]

30. Suggest a swim and delete the pool ladders after they get in

 

[K.C.]

30. Suggest a swim and delete the pool ladders after they get in

 

[Jark]

31. ask them if they want a SPANISH LESSON and then play Hard Candy by Madonna. bonus points for shouting MY SUGAR IS RAWWWWR! at random intervals.

 

[K.C.]

32. Play Jojo Siwa

 

[Ellie]

33. Play Call The Midwife

 

[K.C.]

31. ask them if they want a SPANISH LESSON and then play Hard Candy by Madonna. bonus points for shouting MY SUGAR IS RAWWWWR! at random intervals.

Shit, I'd stay even longer.

 

[Music]

34. Say ‘she’s startin’

 

[AlgoAlex]

34. Say ‘she’s startin’

NAR can't wait for her Traitors appearance !

 

[Music]

NAR can't wait for her Traitors appearance !

It’s going to be the best TV ever, isn’t it?