COB's Creepers #1 - I Don't Want To Be Born, AKA The Devil Within Her, AKA The Monster, AKA Sharon's Baby

[ButterTart]

I DON'T WANT TO BE BORN KILL RANK

1. Dr Finch - decapitated with a spade in the only decent special effect of the entire film
2. Jill - Beadle'd into the river
3. Lucy - Jabbed in the tit with scissors
4. Hercules - Twenty minute heart attack while being kicked to fuck during the can-can.
5. Gino - Strangled before the noose was even around his neck.

SOMEHOW Mrs Hyde lived, and I wasn't prepared for that.

 

[Zu]

Love how it just ENDS with barely any resolution whatsoever

Sounds like every film I’ve ever liked. Clear endings are so terribly tiresome and démodé

 

[ButterTart]

I don't know about anyone else but I've had a marvellous time

Cheers COB, this was brilliant.

What's the next film on the agenda?

 

[AGinAg (37)]

Thanks for bringing this to my attention @COB

I have never seen Joan Collins or Floella Benjamin act, so I simply MUST take a deeper dive.

 

[Lucille]

I REALLY LIKED THE SOFA.

 

[Lucille]

Not sure how I’ll sleep after that!

 

[AGinAg (37)]

Oh and kudos to the FABULOUS SOUNDTRACK. Available on iTunes!

 

[Raining on Me]

What a vision of plotless joy with no reason to hate the apparent evil baby that was, but indeed a film about, as @COB says, how to look THIN and BEAUTIFUL whilst IGNORING your inconvenient child. An absolute pleasure and work of DAFT ART and absolutely something for all mothers to aspire to

 

[Zu]

Well I’ll definitely catch up on this having realised that Joan Collins is in it. I shall settle down with a small glass of Malibu and have a quick spritz of TIMELESS BEAUTY

 

[AGinAg (37)]

I note Joan Collins also won Oscar for best haircut, sofa and tits.

 

[AGinAg (37)]

I've never seen an old British horror before either. A night of firsts!

 

[Raining on Me]

This automatically started playing "Scream At The Devil" next, whatever that is, although it feels worryingly more menacing than the previous offering.

Christ I had no idea Youtube had all these free pieces of trash available, I feel I'm going to get lost in the incompetency of it all.

 

[Eddie]

The SEXUAL TENSION between the nun and the doctor is off the scale!

 

[AGinAg (37)]

So can we confirm that Mandy DID fluff her lines?

 

[COB]

Please join me this Sunday at 9pm for COB'S Creeper #2 - The Lair of the White Worm

On a farm owned by Eve Trent (Catherine Oxenberg) and her sister Mary (Sammi Davis), young archaeologist Angus Flint (Peter Capaldi) discovers a large and inexplicable skull, which he soon deduces belonged to the D'Ampton Worm, a mythical beast supposedly slain generations ago by the ancestor of the current Lord D'Ampton (Hugh Grant). The predatory Lady Sylvia Marsh (Amanda Donohoe) soon takes an interest in both Flint and the virginal Eve, hinting that the vicious D'Ampton Worm may still live.

 

[Eddie]

Tommy sounds like he has been dubbed by a different actor.

 

[COB]

Please join me this Sunday at 9pm for COB'S Creeper #2 - The Lair of the White Worm

Please note that this is sadly NOT available for free, but can be rented for £2.49 on both YouTube and Amazon Prime. You also have between now and Sunday to legally acquire it in any way you see fit, if you'd prefer to do that.

 

[jivafox]

Gutted I missed this but for some reason I didn’t know it was tonight and I’d already agreed to watch the (crap) Rebecca remake with a friend.

 

[Eddie]

Ooh Fortnum & Mason really hasn't changed much.

 

[Zu]

Please note that this is sadly NOT available for free, but can be rented for £2.49 on both YouTube and Amazon Prime.

Bit pricey

 

[ButterTart]

Please join me this Sunday at 9pm for COB'S Creeper #2 - The Lair of the White Worm

Holy fucking shit is this FREE on YouTube?

 

[AGinAg (37)]

I don't do snakes and am skint, so am out alas.

 

[Eddie]

The baby looks like a 70 year old in an infant's body.

 

[ButterTart]

Holy fucking shit is this FREE on YouTube?

Never mind, just saw the other post. I'm happy to pay £2.49, though.

COB I know it's weeks away but if you fancy doing a festive creeper at some point, Don't Open til Christmas is on YouTube and it's amazing. Well, it's absolute shit but it features a serial killer going around London murdering people dressed as Santa.

 

[Zu]

I don't do snakes

Maybe we should have a reveal-all phobias thread to take our minds off recent events. I’ll dress up as a spider and crawl round screaming to get the party started

 

[ButterTart]

Oh my tits WITCHFINDER GENERAL is free as well. I mean, I've got it on DVD and I've seen it about fifteen times but still...

 

[Eddie]

The dwarf in the garden frightened the crap out of me I kid you not.

 

[Lucille]

I’m lucky I live in a flat otherwise I’d get no sleep!

 

[Eddie]

Why did Sister Albana look like she had just had the most amazing orgasm after exorcising the baby?

 

[AGinAg (37)]

Why did Sister Albana look like she had just had the most amazing orgasm after exorcising the baby?

Wouldn't you?

 

[Eddie]

Also I'm a bit pissed off that we never found out who the babydaddy was.

 

[Eddie]

And the Sister left poor old Lucy alone for all those hours, to do what exactly?

Grab a copy of the bible and a crucifix? Shouldn't she be keeping those things on her person AT ALL TIMES? She's a NUN!

 

[Lucille]

Did the Nun also being a SCIENTIST add anything to the plot?!?

 

[AGinAg (37)]

Did the Nun also being a SCIENTIST add anything to the plot?!?

oh that was connected to the people going to the carnival at the start of the film. Connected as in they bore no connection whatsoever to the plot.

ICONIC.

 

[Eddie]

Have any of them tried not being a cunt to the baby? That might make it more inclined to stop killing them.

The cuntiest person : Mrs Hyde survived without a scratch!

Well not more than a superficial bite.

Actually, come to think of it...Mrs HYDE. All makes sense now.

 

[Eddie]

Did the Nun also being a SCIENTIST add anything to the plot?!?

I thought she was going to return with a SUPER sedative at the very least. No, just your bog standard churchy things.

 

[COB]

The film really should've ended with all the surviving characters being so heavily sedated that they all slipped into comas.

 

[ButterTart]

I was thinking about this last night; the exorcism at the end took all of ten minutes and caused her no more grief than a mild orgasm. If she’d have just done that at the start of the film nobody would have died apart from pervy old Herc.