COB's Creepers #5 - Theatre of Blood (TONIGHT, 8pm!)

[COB]

The way he just FLOPS down

 

[Lucille]

Actually quite ARRESTING in that monologue!

 

[Haiku Rewrites]

going to a wine tasting without his police escorts?

This will go swimmingly

 

[COB]

"My heart is with you"

 

[Lucille]

I do find myself wondering how much a flat like that would cost in London nowadays

I’m sure even back then it was more than a JOURNALIST could afford!

 

[COB]

"It must be Lionheart; only he would have the temerity to REWRITE SHAKESPEARE"

!

 

[COB]

Oh Di has DRAGGED UP again, she can't get enough of that fake tache.

 

[COB]

The endless selection of latex masks and wigs is the sign of a true supervillain.

 

[Ellie]

The endless selection of latex masks and wigs is the sign of a true supervillain.

Inspiration for Paddington 2

 

[Lucille]

Are the other wine tasters the tarted up METH DRINKERS?

 

[Haiku Rewrites]

another slasher stereotype, the old heavy drinking alcoholic

 

[Ellie]

This MASSIVE UNDERGROUND LAIR was certainly not evident from the small cellar wine shop in the entrance.

 

[COB]

Reading the reviews aloud and monologuing for nobody's benefit but the audience, what a generous actor Lionheart is

 

[COB]

Are the other wine tasters the tatted up METH DRINKERS?

Oh yes, some of them sort of clean up nice when they try.

 

[ButterTart]

I'm back!

 

[COB]

Disgusting wine biffer! You slept like a DRUNKEN HOG!

 

[Haiku Rewrites]

Edwina has sass

 

[COB]

Also - it is I!

 

[ButterTart]

Just in time for the first one who looks even slightly bothered at seeing a deadman again for the first time.

 

[ButterTart]

Lovely watery wine.

 

[ButterTart]

That's actually a pretty vile way to die.

 

[COB]

I wonder if he'll travel well

Incredible pun work in this film.

 

[ButterTart]

"I wonder if he'll travel well"

 

[ButterTart]

They've worked out the M.O by this point, then? I've not actually read any of these plays so I'm taking it on trust that characters in them actually are killed in these ways.

 

[Ellie]

These critics certainly have an eclectic selection of hobbies.

 

[COB]

Who's this mysterious French (?) man?

 

[COB]

Gasp!

 

[ButterTart]

Even before you knew it was Lionheart, you wouldn't let this goon near you with a sword.

 

[COB]

Lionheart is IMMORTAL, he can NEVER be destroyed!

 

[ButterTart]

I love that neither of them realise those bendy foil rapiers aren't going to do any damage.

 

[Ellie]

Lionheart is IMMORTAL, he can NEVER be destroyed!

Lionheart vs Michael Myers?

 

[COB]

Rescued by the cartoon chimps.

 

[Haiku Rewrites]

the Meths Drinker Woman's acting seems to be real to be faked

 

[COB]

Lionheart vs Michael Myers?

I know who my money's on

 

[ButterTart]

I know who my money's on

There's a look of Catherine Tate on a hen night about her.

 

[Marina Salty]

This scene is like an archaic mother of matrix

 

[ButterTart]

He always reminds me of Father Jack when he was the mud angel there.

 

[COB]

To think, just a few decades later that bright purple meths would be repackaged and marketed as an alcopop.

 

[Haiku Rewrites]

This turned into an episode of Gladiators with epees.

 

[Ellie]

Hang on, he was bleeding from the neck a second ago and now it’s all healed.