COB's Creepers #5 - Theatre of Blood (TONIGHT, 8pm!)

[Ellie]

He STANDS BY HIS REVIEW

 

[COB]

I tell you something, that mumbling youth William Woodstock is fucking lucky he wasn't targeted in all this

 

[COB]

The meths drinkers were always going to fold easiest.

 

[ButterTart]

So the film came out in 1973, and this critics dinner happened in 1971... these DECADES of preparation he put in to such lavish, unnecessary murders actually only took two years at most.

 

[COB]

WAIT... that was his daughter all along?!

 

[COB]

What a twist!

 

[Ellie]

 

[Lucille]

GASP!

 

[Haiku Rewrites]

SHOCKED!

 

[ButterTart]

Diana Rigg in a bubble perm and moustache turned out to be DIANA RIGG?!?!

 

[ButterTart]

WILLIAM WOODSTOCK

You tell 'im

 

[COB]

Love that they also INVENTED whatever this torture device is.

 

[COB]

Snagged on a stupid bit of set dressing, thank goodness!

 

[Marina Salty]

Why did celine dion hit edwina?

 

[ButterTart]

Love that they also INVENTED whatever this torture device is.

It's like Dick Dastardly; if he'd only use his ingenuity for something other than evil schemes he could make a mint.

 

[COB]

Why did celine dion hit edwina?

The meths drinkers have turned!

 

[Haiku Rewrites]

OF COURSE IT WAS THE METHS DRINKER WOMAN WHO PROBABLY WAS ACTUALLY ON METH WHO KILLS DIANA

 

[Ellie]

I’ve officially lost track of what’s going on.

 

[ButterTart]

Metherine Tate was the most useful character in the film

 

[COB]

Imagine not breaking character while DYING and still droning on quoting Shakespeare. Couldn't be me!

 

[COB]

This whole fire scene is quite beautifully filmed, I must say. The location was a real theatre that had been derelict for ten years, so I think they could just do whatever they wanted to it.

 

[ButterTart]

Jesus, just in the nick of time*

*after sitting there awkwardly for 40 minutes while Lionheart and Edwina had their moment.

 

[ButterTart]

This whole fire scene is quite beautifully filmed, I must say. The location was a real theatre that had been derelict for ten years, so I think they could just do whatever they wanted to it.

Yeah, there's a proper SCALE to it all.

 

[Ellie]

Once a critic, always a critic.

 

[COB]

Well, there he goes

 

[Haiku Rewrites]

he lived and breathed acting to the very end

 

[ButterTart]

All your friends are dead, this isn't the time for glib comments.

 

[COB]

Critic bloke is suddenly Roger Moore's Bond with that pun

 

[Lucille]

BRAVO!

 

[Haiku Rewrites]

All your friends are dead, this isn't the time for glib comments.

But his assistant survived!

 

[COB]

All your friends are dead, this isn't the time for glib comments.

Think of all the critics' jobs going, though - he'll be set for life

 

[ButterTart]

Please note the amazing similarities between Lionheart's attire/death in the final sequence, and that of Ratigan from Great Mouse Detective (who Vincent Price also voiced).

 

[COB]

Well there we have it I hope you all enjoyed!

 

[Marina Salty]

Excellent choice COB & ButtetTart

 

[ButterTart]

Well there we have it I hope you all enjoyed!

Well I had a marvellous time

 

[Haiku Rewrites]

That was definitely a very fun experience, I had a whale of a time!

Wonderful work COB & ButterTart with the film choice and presentation!

 

[COB]

Remember to join me on Sunday, Halloween itself, for the next instalment

 

[Haiku Rewrites]

Remember to join me on Sunday, Halloween itself, for the next instalment

OBSCURE 1980s Japanese Horror Movie with ridiculous twist or I RIOT!

(In all seriousness, anything should be fine and actually excited to see what the next choice is)

 

[Ellie]

WELL, that was certainly entertaining

 

[ButterTart]

My death rate:

Snipe (Spearhorse funeraldrag)
Moone (Death by perm)
Sprout (bed decapitation)
Harding (wine)
Merridew (DOGGY WOGGIES)
Dickman (Pound of flesh)
Maxwell (The opening stabfest)
Mrs Psaltery (Pillow)