Coronavirus (6 Viewers)

[Kate]

One of today's UK deaths in my local hospital. Tremendous

 

[Zu]

Oh noooo. Thank goodness I’m in the more upmarket East

*catches it in chip shop*

 

[Sheena]

I've just been and panic bought 24 toilet rolls (All in one pack, mind- it was the only pack they had left so I thought WHY NOT?), sweetcorn, almond milk and Alpro yogurt. I'm now CORONAREADY.

(I also bought 60 Easter Eggs for my office, which caused the ugly fat cunt behind me to say snidely to her friend "Look at this fucking lot, shouldn't be allowed" to which I replied "I work for a hospice for terminally ill children, you should probably think before you speak" and that SHUT HER UP. Of course, I'd told the woman on the till I work in an office a few moments earlier, but she KEPT SCHTUM.)

 

[SDF]

"I work for a hospice for terminally ill children, you should probably think before you speak" and that SHUT HER UP. Of course, I'd told the woman on the till I work in an office a few moments earlier, but she KEPT SCHTUM.)

 

[Peekaboo]

I will never understand this LOO ROLL paranoia - there's about TWENTY other things you can use to wipe your bum in an emergency. KLEENEX missing a marketing chance here clearly.

Also, do people EAT toilet paper or what? By the time it takes to go through 24 rolls we'll be in CORONAVIRUS III - THE RETURN.

 

[Tisch]

An awfully COMMON woman was in my supermarket the other day spouting that it FUCKING MAKES ME LARF. CORONA DOESN'T GIVE YOU THE SHITS and I have to admit I do think she had a point.

 

[RS]

Berghain closed until 20th April.

If this isn’t the end of the world, then what is.

 

[Zu]

Oh my

 

[Zu]

Mind you there’s something rather UNHEIMLICH about Berghain and oh! the very horror of being turned away at the door. I thought they’d like my espadrilles

 

[Kate]

The Brazilian government’s communications secretary who MET TRUMP AT THE WEEKEND has tested positive. OH PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LET TRUMP HAVE IT

 

[Alla]

The Brazilian government’s communications secretary who MET TRUMP AT THE WEEKEND has tested positive. OH PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LET TRUMP HAVE IT

Finally some good news!!

 

[ameraal]

 

[Alla]

I didn't even know there were dogs in quarantine, do you eat dogs in Japan, @Diddy? Bon appétit!

 

[Zu]

Mmm... SPANIEL SUSHI

 

[Dark Carnival]

We regularly have such info communicated by our health ministry, the latest being that COCAINE is NOT efficient against Corona

 

[Dark Carnival]

Berghain closed until 20th April.

If this isn’t the end of the world, then what is.

HOW ARE WE GOING TO COPE

 

[Zu]

Presumably Tresor is also temporarily closed? I’ve always fancied going there more than Berghain TBH, although inevitably have never got round to it

 

[Dark Carnival]

I will never understand this LOO ROLL paranoia - there's about TWENTY other things you can use to wipe your bum in an emergency. KLEENEX missing a marketing chance here clearly.

Also, do people EAT toilet paper or what? By the time it takes to go through 24 rolls we'll be in CORONAVIRUS III - THE RETURN.

I don’t either! If we're going to be stuck home surely that’s the best place to be stuck in without loo roll. Just fucking shower.

 

[OutSynk]

Mmm... SPANIEL SUSHI

Mmm...tinned dog.

 

[Lucille]

COCAINE is NOT efficient against Corona

 

[Mats]

Berghain closed until 20th April.

If this isn’t the end of the world, then what is.

I'd say that's the beginning of the world for most of their clientele

 

[Dark Carnival]

I know

 

[Mats]

several gyms, restaurants, cinemas closing for two weeks

if corona doesn't kill me, BOREDOM WILL

 

[Shirley]

So what's going on with the latest COBRA meeting? Heated debate about whether there's more votes in killing 500000 people or crashing the economy?

 

[Kate]

SOUNDS ABOUT RIGHT

 

[Peekaboo]

Pornhub is offering FREE PREMIUM ACCOUNTS for a week to ALL ITALIANS in their FIGHT against Corona

 

[Lucille]

The current UK top 10!

We do seem to have quite the scattering of cases with no real localised outbreak yet unlike other places.

Hertfordshire 18
Kensington and Chelsea 15
Devon 13
Hampshire 13
Surrey 10
Southwark 9
Oxfordshire 9
Brighton and Hove 8
Barnet 8
Torbay 7

 

[Lucille]

Actually that is an ENGLAND top 10, before a Scot has my EYE OUT.

 

[Phoenix]

Pornhub is offering FREE PREMIUM ACCOUNTS for a week to ALL ITALIANS in their FIGHT against Corona

i imagine there will be a lot of corona babies in 9 months and a bunch of stds (if we’re still alive)

 

[jivafox]

Nicola Sturgeon has LEAKED the COBRA tea.

UK moving into the “delay” phase. Schools remain open, rugby and football matches cancelled.

 

[Kate]

The current UK top 10!

We do seem to have quite the scattering of cases with no real localised outbreak yet unlike other places.

Hertfordshire 18
Kensington and Chelsea 15
Devon 13
Hampshire 13
Surrey 10
Southwark 9
Oxfordshire 9
Brighton and Hove 8
Barnet 8
Torbay 7

All very southern. Northerners must have just told it to FOOK OFF.

 

[Phoenix]

We’re having a cooking competition in the cafeteria and there’s a guy in a gold lamé blazer emceeing. I think we can die now.

 

[Star]

Apparently Aldi have stock of hand gel;

https://www.hotukdeals.com/deals/la...IE9Yp0oqUVsojdiCw7cHjpb-j9un9xg-Z20fFd3mFxaU4

 

[Shirley]

Oh GREAT so we ALL HAVE TO HAVE IT whether we WANT TO OR NOT

THANKS

 

[Shirley]

Oh honestly this is PATHETIC

 

[Lucille]

So the delay phase involves doing FUCK ALL.

GREAT WORK GUYS.

 

[ameraal]

we're closing the bar. people are saying it's paranoid but considering all evidence shows that the sooner everything is shut down the faster it's under control, i think it's the responsible thing to do.

we're lucky we have some savings which we can pay the rent with, not many businesses do.

 

[ameraal]

i'll truly be broke very soon, won't i?

 

[Lucille]

KEEP WASHING YOUR HANDS GUYS!!!

 

[Lucille]

considering all evidence shows that the sooner everything is shut down the faster it's under control, i think it's the responsible thing to do.

Would you mind telling OUR GOVERNMENT.