CUNT OF THE MONTH - SECOND CHANCE ROUND 2019

[cwej]

So far you have elected 20 cunts for the end of year competition... But we have space for four more, which will be decided by a pair of head-to-head knockouts.

Already in the final are:

Tim Martin - January Winner
R Kelly - January Runner-Up
Shemima Begum - February Winner
Sir Christopher Chope - February Runner-Up
Theresa May - March Winner
Boris Johnson - March Runner-Up
Stephen Yaxley-Lennon - April Winner
Nigel Farage - April Runner-Up
Donald Trump - May Winner
Ann Widdecombe - May Runner-Up
Piers Morgan - June Winner
Sharron Davies - June Runner-Up
Jacob Rees-Mogg - Summer Special Winner
Katie Hopkins - Summer Special Runner-Up
Dominic Cummings - Summer Special 3rd Place
Jay Aston - Summer Special 4th Place
Anne Sacoolas - September Runner-Up
Priti Patel - September Winner
Prince Andrew - October Winner
Arlene Foster - October Runner-Up



The 16 people or groups that did not make the final, but received the next most total number of votes or nominations throughout the year have been paired up for head-to-heads. You have 48 hours to choose your winner from each pairing, just post below with your choice from each pairing.

After 48 hours, the final 8 will be in a second knockout until we have 4 people to join the end of year final.

So please choose one from each of the following pairs:

Aaron Banks vs Jeremy Kyle
David Cameron vs Jeffrey Epstein
Andrea Leadsom vs Israel Folau
Kate Hoey vs MAGA Hat Boy
The Tories vs Michael Jackson
Mark Francois vs Michael Jackson Defenders
The Sultan of Brunei vs Elderly Brexit Voters
No Deal Supporters vs Kanye West


48 hours to vote starts NOW!

 

[cwej]

My choices to get the ball rolling...

Aaron Banks vs Jeremy Kyle
David Cameron vs Jeffrey Epstein
Andrea Leadsom vs Israel Folau
Kate Hoey vs MAGA Hat Boy
The Tories vs Michael Jackson
Mark Francois vs Michael Jackson Defenders
The Sultan of Brunei vs Elderly Brexit Voters
No Deal Supporters vs Kanye West

 

[Superstylin']

Exactly the same as you

Aaron Banks vs Jeremy Kyle
David Cameron vs Jeffrey Epstein
Andrea Leadsom vs Israel Folau
Kate Hoey vs MAGA Hat Boy
The Tories vs Michael Jackson
Mark Francois vs Michael Jackson Defenders
The Sultan of Brunei vs Elderly Brexit Voters
No Deal Supporters vs Kanye West

 

[dmlaw]

Aaron Banks vs Jeremy Kyle
David Cameron vs Jeffrey Epstein
Andrea Leadsom vs Israel Folau
Kate Hoey vs MAGA Hat Boy
The Tories vs Michael Jackson
Mark Francois vs Michael Jackson Defenders
The Sultan of Brunei vs Elderly Brexit Voters
No Deal Supporters vs Kanye West

Standard policy that individuals are almost always automatically worse than groups and that live Tories are worse than dead paedophiles.

 

[Lucille]

live Tories are worse than dead paedophiles.

 

[Alla]

I don't have time for shit British politicians.

David Cameron vs Jeffrey Epstein


The Tories vs Michael Jackson

The Sultan of Brunei vs Elderly Brexit Voters
No Deal Supporters vs Kanye West

 

[D5K]

Aaron Banks vs Jeremy Kyle
David Cameron vs Jeffrey Epstein
Andrea Leadsom vs Israel Folau
Kate Hoey vs MAGA Hat Boy
The Tories vs Michael Jackson
Mark Francois vs Michael Jackson Defenders
The Sultan of Brunei vs Elderly Brexit Voters
No Deal Supporters vs Kanye West

 

[octophone]

Aaron Banks vs Jeremy Kyle
David Cameron vs Jeffrey Epstein (on the grounds that Epstein is dead, his only redeeming quality)
Andrea Leadsom vs Israel Folau
Kate Hoey vs MAGA Hat Boy
The Tories vs Michael Jackson (again, Jacko is dead)
Mark Francois vs Michael Jackson Defenders
The Sultan of Brunei vs Elderly Brexit Voters (the latter will soon be dead, frozen and starved by their own racism)
No Deal Supporters vs Kanye West

 

[octophone]

I had to look up Israel Folau btw - sport is something I know fuck all about.

 

[lolly]

Kind of gutted we aren't going to get a chance at putting Laura Kuenssberg where she belongs.

 

[Indie]

Aaron Banks
David Cameron
Andrea Leadsom
Kate Hoey
The Tories
Mark Francois
Elderly Brexit Voters
No Deal Supporters

 

[dmlaw]

Kind of gutted we aren't going to get a chance at putting Laura Kuenssberg where she belongs.

She will almost certainly still be a cunt in January.

 

[octophone]

She will almost certainly still be a cunt in January.

...when she quits the BBC and takes a job at Fox News/No 10/insert-disaster-capitalist-hedgefund-of-yr-choice.

 

[Dark Carnival]

Aaron Banks vs Jeremy Kyle
David Cameron vs Jeffrey Epstein
Andrea Leadsom vs Israel Folau
Kate Hoey vs MAGA Hat Boy
The Tories vs Michael Jackson
Mark Francois vs Michael Jackson Defenders
The Sultan of Brunei vs Elderly Brexit Voters
No Deal Supporters vs Kanye West

 

[cwej]

Kind of gutted we aren't going to get a chance at putting Laura Kuenssberg where she belongs.

Y'all had 10 months to slay her!

 

[cwej]

Two hours left by the way, then the winners will be paired up for the final round.

 

[cwej]

Two hours left by the way, then the winners will be paired up for the final round.

 

[Indie]

Y'all had 10 months to slay her!

Her worst work has been recently though. Omitting December as an eligible month when there was, y'know, a general election and a big bag of cunts hanging around feels short sighted. Nevertheless, we will kill her next year.

 

[lolly]

We missed November as well effectively, didn't we?

 

[cwej]

We missed November as well effectively, didn't we?

Yes but I always said that from the outset. I'd do the first 10 months, then a second chance round and December would be the final.

 

[lolly]

Your rules and all that, but it just sets off the in me like those charts 'of the year' which only cover to the end of November. Except worse

 

[octophone]

Omitting December as an eligible month when there was, y'know, a general election and a big bag of cunts hanging around feels short sighted.

Oh come on, who saw THAT coming at the beginning of the year? A December election? What would you have got at the bookies for that in January?

 

[Indie]

Oh come on, who saw THAT coming at the beginning of the year? A December election? What would you have got at the bookies for that in January?

I'm not saying anyone would have. But given there has been, why stick so rigidly to what you said in January?

Edit: I suppose "short-sighted" was the wrong pick of words.

Either way, it's fine. Can't say it's affecting my life that much.

 

[AGinAg (37)]

I really thought we'd be able to add more names.

 

[cwej]

I mean guys it's a fucking online poll. I think you'll all live with the list of cunts we currently have. If you want to nominate me for January cunt of the month feel free...!!

 

[cwej]

So results of the first knockout are as follows:

Aaron Banks beats Jeremy Kyle with 86% of the vote
and will face
No Deal Supporters who drew with Kanye West but with more nominations throughout the year take the win.

David Cameron draws with Jeffrey Epstein but takes the win with more nominations throughout the year
and will face
The Sultan of Brunei who scored 75% of the vote against the Elderly Brexit Voters

Israel Folau was the 14th seed but takes out the 3rd seed Andrea Leadsom with 57% of the vote
and will face
Mark Francois who was the only person to get 100% of the vote, beating the Michael Jackson defenders.

Finally Kate Hoey got 86% of the vote against some boy who wore a MAGA hat
and will face
The Tories who got 63% of the vote against Michael Jackson himself.

 

[cwej]

You now have 48 hours to choose from:

Aaron Banks vs No Deal Supporters
David Cameron vs The Sultan of Brunei
Israel Folau vs Mark Francois
Kate Hoey vs The Tories

 

[cwej]

My votes:

Aaron Banks vs No Deal Supporters
David Cameron vs The Sultan of Brunei
Israel Folau vs Mark Francois
Kate Hoey vs The Tories

 

[D5K]

Aaron Banks vs No Deal Supporters
David Cameron vs The Sultan of Brunei
Israel Folau vs Mark Francois
Kate Hoey vs The Tories

 

[AGinAg (37)]

Aaron, Dave, Mark, Kate

 

[Indie]

Aaron, Dave, Mark, Kate

Second vote for this.

 

[Kate]

Aaron
Sultan
Mark
Tories

 

[Alla]

Aaron Banks vs No Deal Supporters
David Cameron vs The Sultan of Brunei
Israel Folau vs Mark Francois
Kate Hoey vs The Tories

 

[cwej]

Any more for any more? Just under 24 hours left.

 

[dmlaw]

Aaron, Dave, Israel and Kate for me.

 

[Superstylin']

Aaron Banks
The Sultan of Brunei
Israel Folau
Kate Hoey

 

[octophone]

Aaron Banks vs No Deal Supporters - because Banks is essentially a subset of No Deal Supporters
David Cameron vs The Sultan of Brunei - Cameron's time as a risk to anyone is over. Not so the SoB (hey, appropriate acronym)
Israel Folau vs Mark Francois - I'm still not completely sure who Israel Folau is, despite checking last time.
Kate Hoey vs The Tories - because Hoey is essentially a subset of The Tories, except, like Cameron, she is now neutralised.

 

[cwej]

Time is up...

So our final four finalists of the year are:

The Number 1 Seed Aaron Banks with 88% of the vote against No Deal Supporters

Arron had been shortlisted 3 times without making the final, so it was about time too...

The Sultan of Brunei takes out Number 2 seed David Cameron, who finally seems to be fading from our memories. Oddly we only nominated The Sultan once back in April, but being reminded of him in the Second Chance round put him right back on our radars. He got 67% of the vote.

Mark Francois got 63% of the vote over Israel Folau, who had taken out the 3rd seed. Shortlisted in September and longlisted in October, he finally makes it through to the final.

Finally... Kate Hoey takes the win with 57% of the vote against The Tories. Whoever thought that one ex-Labour MP could be hated more than 360 Tory ones...?

The end of year final coming up next week...!