Dan Wootton accused of Sexual Harassment

[funky]

There are websites dedicated to SMALL WILLIES however.

Maybe he could be MAGGOT OF THE MONTH

 

[Zu]

I’m not sure there’s a CHEZ LONG in EXISTENCE that could give that photoshoot the necessary amount of SPARKLE

Luckily he’s using FAIRY LIGHTS AND TINSEL to give the paltry gens a glow up

 

[funky]

Luckily he’s using FAIRY LIGHTS AND TINSEL to give the paltry gens a glow up

and hopefully for him a VERY LONG LENS

 

[funky]

I’m fantasising about him sat at home in his y-fronts eating wotsits with his phone on airplane mode and trawling the news channels waiting for someone to talk about him, not knowing what’s worse - nobody defending him or nobody being arsed to mention him either way

What a time to be alive!

 

[Zu]

I’m fantasising about him sat at home in his y-fronts eating wotsits with his phone on airplane mode and trawling the news channels waiting for someone to talk about him, not knowing what’s worse - nobody defending him or nobody being arsed to mention him either way

What a time to be alive!

He doesn’t appear to be on air tonight so the Wotsits scenario is highly likely. And he’s almost certainly pissed silly on snowballs at his luxury apartment in London’s glamorous Canada Water. Well, either that or he’s at the White Swan trying to be important and sidestepping questions about his dinky

 

[Zu]

“eating wotsits”

How DELICIOUSLY MUNDANE! What would his superstar panel think?

 

[Soldi]

Oh nothing beats a good bag of HULA HOOPS

 

[Ellie]

Oh nothing beats a good bag of HULA HOOPS

Spicy Chilli ones please! Seem to have died during Covid

 

[Lucille]

The glamour!

 

[Zu]

But where is the SUPERSTAR PANEL?

 

[Lucille]

Those lovely ceiling tiles scream LUXURIOUS OFFICE LOCATION.

 

[Lucille]

The tartan carpet also adds a touch of class.

 

[lolly]

The glamour!

I only just noticed THE SHADOW

 

[Zu]

He looks like DRILLER KILLER in that photo

 

[Cloud]

You're all SICK and putting me off my peanut butter flavoured wotsits
(Or whatever these German equivalents were called)

 

[Zu]

 

[Lucille]

HE’S NOT GOING TO SHOW YOU THE DIDDLER EMMA.

 

[Zu]

HE’S NOT GOING TO SHOW YOU THE DIDDLER EMMA.

at the notion of the subtext of poor stupid Emma’s fawning being PLEASE SHOW DINKY

 

[octophone]

I bet his balls are massive tho'. Like comically large which makes the tiny peen even funnier.

 

[Zu]

Although we’re all CRYING OUT FOR AN EYEFUL

 

[Zu]

I bet his balls are massive tho'. Like comically large which makes the tiny peen even funnier.

Tarot suggests that the whole arrangement is ALL QUITE MINI

 

[Finn]

Marina Hyde on Dan Wootton is fun -

Will ‘close pals’ rally around Dan Wootton as he faces down catfishing allegations? He’d want that, surely | Marina Hyde

The GB News presenter has always offered a very tabloid form of support to celebrities in difficulty. They can’t desert him now, says Guardian columnist Marina Hyde

www.theguardian.com

 

[COB]

I bet his balls are massive tho'. Like comically large which makes the tiny peen even funnier.

Me accidentally bookmarking this post

 

[Lucille]

Like a couple of skittles I heard.

 

[funky]

Behold Wootton, a sideboard made of ham, with efit eyes, dropping quotable quotes so fast there was no way you could possibly digest the last one before the next one was being gnashed out through his veneers. I want to say it was like watching a washing machine play King Lear, but I think it’s somehow even more ludicrous to say it was like watching Dan Wootton play sincere.

 

[octophone]

Nah, I reckon it's a Buster Gonad scenario - that's why he swaggers around like he's got it going on but when it comes to scanties-off time, it's like a button mushroom sitting between two marrows.

 

[funky]

I AM TRYING TO EAT MY BREAKFAST

 

[octophone]

I AM TRYING TO EAT MY BREAKFAST

Marrow and mushroom stew?

 

[Lucille]

Think of HANDSOME DAN as you let a single bean slink down your throat.

 

[Zu]

Marrow and mushroom stew?

A twig of All Bran and two blueberries

 

[Zu]

Apparently Keep An Eye On Dan and Little Things on ABBA’s wonderful and much Oxfammed Voyage albam were directly inspired by everyone’s favourite GB News superstar

 

[Zu]

Poor Dan has raised only 24% of his £150K goal. Why not join me in selling your Tupperware and wigs to support him?

 

[Kratz]

Poor Dan has raised only 24% of his £150K goal. Why not join me in selling your Tupperware and wigs to support him?

Don’t donate! Legal fees my foot. He’ll have a new conservatory next month.

 

[Zu]

Don’t donate! Legal fees my foot. He’ll have a new conservatory next month.

He’s actually wanting a JACUZZI so he can invite all his friends over for SEXY TIME

 

[funky]

He’s actually wanting a JACUZZI so he can invite all his friends over for SEXY TIME

Imagine reaching down for his EEL and finding nothing but TADPOLE

 

[Zu]

Imagine reaching down for his EEL and finding nothing but TADPOLE

Imagine being in the ‘cuzzi with him in the FIRST PLACE!

 

[funky]

And now I’m NAUSEOUS again

Why do I do it to myself

 

[ZenGiraffe]

Might start banning some of you (@funky) from this thread FOR THE GOOD OF US ALL

 

[Ellie]

Maybe he could be sponsored to walk around his garden a few thousand times to raise funds.

 

[Lucille]

Look at these ICONS!