Do you ever worry about dying?

God I sound like I'm having a midlife crisis

*buys expensive sports car and has affair with secretary*
 
VoR said:
Again this is probably a bit of a COLD READ from a non-parental perspective, but surely the alternative to the fear of leaving your children behind is that you end up outliving them, which I imagine would be far, far worse?
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For me it's more the fear of dying while they are still young. Aged 5 and 3 I doubt they'd remember me much. Would they ever know how much they were loved? Or I can imagine them crying out for me if I suddenly wasn't there, and that thought breaks me.
 
What a topic! Amazing.

I honestly never worry about dying. I think a lot about the future and goals I would like to work towards so I can be personally fulfilled by doing interesting and satisfying work that takes care of me and Suomi and helps me live purposefully in line with my values and talents. I find this helpful whenever I wish I lived in a bigger place or I had more money or had more success, because I have real faith that I’m doing things the right way for me and the people I love and all will work out.

And this is quite a turnaround as I used to think, for quite a long time, that there was no point me setting goals or chasing dreams because I didn’t think my life would be worth living. Thanks to a lot of therapy and making very deliberate choices over the years, I now have a feeling of wanting to make the most of myself, to appreciate what I already have, to keep learning, and to keep making a life that I’ll be content with.

I definitely don’t worry about people not being devastated when I die, I don’t know that I would rely on that as a yardstick for whether I’ve lived a good life. I don’t even know that I want people to be devastated, I’d rather they were glad I helped them learn a useful life lesson, or admired a quality I had, or felt that I genuinely loved them.

Obviously it’s very easy for me to say this today from my husband’s large lakeside summer house in Sweden but the journey ETC ETC ETC
 
Star said:
For me it's more the fear of dying while they are still young. Aged 5 and 3 I doubt they'd remember me much. Would they ever know how much they were loved? Or I can imagine them crying out for me if I suddenly wasn't there, and that thought breaks me.
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This absolutely breaks my heart @Star

Your love for your children is absolutely everything. Gorgeous.
 
HerSereneHighnessAnniFrid said:
What a topic! Amazing.
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Agreed. Lots of different takes, lots of thought and nuance and just having that conversation takes the edge off of what's still a pretty taboo topic; I don't know about all of you but conversation (even with close friends or family) very rarely turns to "death" unless someone actually, well, dies... and then you don't exactly contemplate or discuss your various points of view.
 
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I don’t have kids, but I think if me or my sister died, it would be too devastating for my parents, especially my mother, to handle.
 
lolly said:
But really, I've been loved (be that parental, platonic or romantic) all my life. I've loved romantically and platonically. I've had some fantastic experiences along the way. I know I've made a difference in what I do professionally, as much as sometimes I berate myself for lack of professional ambition. I've been incredibly fortunate on a practical level with things like housing and finances. It's all kind of enough for me. Most of the time.
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Love this post. It's got me playing Charlene's I've Never Been To Me
 
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