Eurovision Midweek Rewatch: Tel Aviv, 2019 (2100 BST 13.05.20)

[Madison]

10 points knocked off for misspelling ‘colour’

 

[VoR]

And wasn’t this TOP TEN on Televotes or something ridiculous?

Yes, not that you'd ever have known from watching

 

[Penelope]

In a post-AIDS era, this is by far the most convincing vision of gay life in your 60s I've yet seen

 

[ButterTart]

Even if I do actually think the song is total shit, I will not begrudge Serhat 'son of Sertab' Erener a SINGLE SECOND of the absolute joy he's experiencing on that stage. If Leonora hadn't drained my emotional energy to maintain her youth, I'd say this was the feel-good moment of the year.

 

[Madison]

There’s literally one good thing about this and he’s wearing shorts.

 

[Penelope]

The crowbarred in Turkish!

 

[Soldi]

06 Malta
08 Albania
04 Czechia
01 Germany
03 Russia
07 Denmark
11 San Marino

 

[Madison]

35 Malta
60 Albania
70 Czech Republic
03 Germany
20 Russia
05 Denmark
01 San Marino

 

[Penelope]

08 Malta
10/00 Albania
04 Czech Republic
11/-1 Germany
03 Russia
00 Denmark
10 San Marino

 

[win_the_game]

Imagine this baked old turtle sidling up to you on a night out. I wouldn't tell him to fuck off for one

Nor would I. Clearly the Adam Russo of Eurovision.

 

[Dark Carnival]

06 Malta
04 Albania
01 Czech Republic
00 Germany
04 Russia
04 Denmark
11/00 but 00 really San Marino

 

[GNL]

To be fair, Serhat benefits from being the first memorable performance of the evening.

 

[Penelope]

Ugh, THIS

 

[Dark Carnival]

Alright I'm going to go ahead and NOT give this an instant zero and give it YET ANOTHER CHANCE. Let's see.

 

[Madison]

Controversial hashtag

 

[GNL]

Trend alert: MIRRORS

 

[ButterTart]

In my head, this did well because of a flawless vocal performance. Clearly that wasn't the case.

Utterly fucking mystifying.

 

[Dark Carnival]

Alright I'm going to go ahead and NOT give this an instant zero and give it YET ANOTHER CHANCE. Let's see.

Ok I CAN'T it's fucking dog CUNT

 

[Soldi]

Controversial hashtag

I hope there’s a Greek Journalist somewhere FUMING

 

[Soldi]

Ok I CAN'T it's fucking dog CUNT

But thanks to you I’m PROUD!

 

[Penelope]

I just can't believe a jury given the specific remit of voting for modern, relevant music chose to take the opportunity to vote for THIS in droves

To my dying day I'll be convinced they were leant on to some degree

 

[Penelope]

TEEEEEEEELL THEEEEEEM

FUCK OFF! YOU TELL THEM!

 

[win_the_game]

Well fuck all you haters. I loved that.

 

[Penelope]

08 Malta
10/00 Albania
04 Czech Republic
11/-1 Germany
03 Russia
00 Denmark
10 San Marino
01 North Macedonia

 

[Soldi]

06 Malta
08 Albania
04 Czechia
01 Germany
03 Russia
07 Denmark
11 San Marino
07 North Macedonia

 

[Madison]

35 Malta
60 Albania
70 Czech Republic
03 Germany
20 Russia
05 Denmark
01 San Marino
55 North Macedonia

 

[Dark Carnival]

06 Malta
04 Albania
01 Czech Republic
00 Germany
04 Russia
04 Denmark
00 San Marino
02 Macedonia

 

[Soldi]

Well fuck all you haters. I loved that.

So DID I. Look at which members have BRILLIANT TASTE once again!

 

[Penelope]

That host - gay?

 

[ButterTart]

Shit, I was thinking it was about to get going and then it stopped. Actually more boring than I remember it being, and I thought it was as dull as the John Major / Edwina Currie sex tape the first time round.

 

[Soldi]

06 Malta
04 Albania
01 Czech Republic
00 Germany
04 Russia
04 Denmark
00 San Marino
02 Macedonia

Are you coping?

 

[Penelope]

Check out SHINING BEACON OF CHARISMA Michaela

 

[Dark Carnival]

GO S!STERS

 

[Madison]

That host - gay?

And married to a man.

 

[Soldi]

The whole TOP FIVE were MALE, not quite a FEMALE WINNER.

 

[Dark Carnival]

Are you coping?

I AM, thinking of Mahmood's hole

 

[GNL]

Why are the hosts always so AWKWARD?

 

[win_the_game]

That host - gay?

Didn't he say during the semi finals Dana International made him gay? You and me both love.

 

[Madison]

The whole ...

 

[Penelope]

The whole TOP FIVE were MALE, not quite a FEMALE WINNER.

Spoilers!