Five Gold THURSDAYS

big ron

big ron

King of moopy
Pronouns
He/him
Joined
Feb 18, 2004
Messages
39,282
I'm feeling festive today. Its our 'work' chirstmas do tonight, 3 of us, one has brought mushrooms the other just text me about smoking DMT. I just wanted to go for some food.
 
I'm cooking for 18 this weekend as well, so need to prep tomorrow evening, and I'm clearly going to be HANGING.

Merry Christmas!
 
I have just ordered a giant print of Kate Moss TITS OUT for Ms Ron though, so its all good.
 
Fairytale of Big Ron's dinner guests officially tripping balls.
 
Last edited:
I swear I'm on the verge of a breakdown over this Christmas. WIth the family gearing up for Mr Sheena's Mum's funeral next week, his Auntie (Dad's last remaining sibling) has just gone into an unresponsive state and will be dead within 24 hours, my sister in law who I am organising the whole of Christmas with and who hasn't done much so far as she runs a catering business and had bookings up until last night managed to spill boiling water all over her arms and torso and is now laid up in bed in bandages, my Mum keeps ringing me asking if I can do various pointless tasks for her whilst not asking either of my fucking siblings ("well, they both have proper jobs"...ARGHHH!) and Mr Sheena is basically depressed and goes from bed to shower, back to bed again and is currently lying prostrate and sighing every 30 seconds or so in the other room.

I SWEAR, IF I GET FUCKING SICK THIS CHRISTMAS, I'M GOING TO KILL SOMEONE.
 
Last edited:
Underneath the Shee said:
I swear I'm on the verge of a breakdown over this Christmas. WIth the family gearing up for Mr Sheena's Mum's funeral next week, his Auntie (Dad's last remaining sibling) has just gone into an unresponsive state and will be dead within 24 hours, my sister in law who I am organising the whole of Christmas with and who hasn't done much so far as she runs a catering business and had bookings up until last night managed to spill boiling water all over her arms and torso and is now laid up in bed in bandages, my Mum keeps ringing me asking if I can do various pointless tasks for her whilst not asking either of my fucking siblings ("well, they both have proper jobs"...ARGHHH!) and Mr Sheena is basically depressed and goes from bed to shower, back to bed again and is currently lying prostrate and sighing every 30 seconds or so in the other room.

I SWEAR, IF I GET FUCKING SICK THIS CHRISTMAS, I'M GOING TO KILL SOMEONE.
Click to expand...
Christ. Time to get the hard drugs out.
 
The only minor difference to Christmas this year is my brother and his wife will be here, which is apparently a first.
 
GingerbreadAg (39) said:
Christ. Time to get the hard drugs out.
Click to expand...

INNIT. I quite fancy just sitting off my face and letting the whole world melt around me right now!

In better news, I do have our annual outing to the theatre to watch It's a Wonderful Life tonight, presuming I can persuade Mr Sheena to come along. Hopefully that'll spark my festive spirit off.
 
I definitely think I'd have had a break down by now if I was Sheena :(
 
Underneath the Shee said:
I swear I'm on the verge of a breakdown over this Christmas. WIth the family gearing up for Mr Sheena's Mum's funeral next week, his Auntie (Dad's last remaining sibling) has just gone into an unresponsive state and will be dead within 24 hours, my sister in law who I am organising the whole of Christmas with and who hasn't done much so far as she runs a catering business and had bookings up until last night managed to spill boiling water all over her arms and torso and is now laid up in bed in bandages, my Mum keeps ringing me asking if I can do various pointless tasks for her whilst not asking either of my fucking siblings ("well, they both have proper jobs"...ARGHHH!) and Mr Sheena is basically depressed and goes from bed to shower, back to bed again and is currently lying prostrate and sighing every 30 seconds or so in the other room.

I SWEAR, IF I GET FUCKING SICK THIS CHRISTMAS, I'M GOING TO KILL SOMEONE.
Click to expand...
Jeez, that's awful.

Are you sure you're not in Eastenders?
 
the octy and the ivy said:
Jeez, that's awful.

Are you sure you're not in Eastenders?
Click to expand...

It just feels like one thing after another at the moment. Throw in the brother in-law's ex-wife who is coming from Spain for the funeral but who has a mortal enemy in the other brother's wife to the mix for MORE EASTENDERS FUN :disco:
 
Saw this and thought of @Fairytale of Big Ron xoxo

1702560227179.png
 
Underneath the Shee said:
I swear I'm on the verge of a breakdown over this Christmas. WIth the family gearing up for Mr Sheena's Mum's funeral next week, his Auntie (Dad's last remaining sibling) has just gone into an unresponsive state and will be dead within 24 hours, my sister in law who I am organising the whole of Christmas with and who hasn't done much so far as she runs a catering business and had bookings up until last night managed to spill boiling water all over her arms and torso and is now laid up in bed in bandages, my Mum keeps ringing me asking if I can do various pointless tasks for her whilst not asking either of my fucking siblings ("well, they both have proper jobs"...ARGHHH!) and Mr Sheena is basically depressed and goes from bed to shower, back to bed again and is currently lying prostrate and sighing every 30 seconds or so in the other room.

I SWEAR, IF I GET FUCKING SICK THIS CHRISTMAS, I'M GOING TO KILL SOMEONE.
Click to expand...

Sounds like you need to come on our works night out later.
 
Underneath the Shee said:
my Mum keeps ringing me asking if I can do various pointless tasks for her whilst not asking either of my fucking siblings ("well, they both have proper jobs"...ARGHHH!)
Click to expand...

Despite all the death and injury, this was the bit that had me TWITCHING VIOLENTLY.
 
I Saw Funky Kissing Santa Claus said:
Despite all the death and injury, this was the bit that had me TWITCHING VIOLENTLY.
Click to expand...

This isn’t even new. It’s fucking constant.

I had to have a massive go at her on Monday because she called four times in 10 minutes during a meeting with a RATHER IMPORTANT GLOBAL FOOTBALL ASSOCIATION WHO CAN’T BE NAMED. In case there is an emergency, she can get through my silent block. When I finally answered, she wanted to know if I could post some Christmas cards for her, despite both of my brothers having had gone in over the weekend, which was a TRUE CHRISTMAS MIRACLE IN ITSELF.
 
I don’t understand how anyone can possibly survive Whamageddon.

How do you SHOP?
 
Knowing Mr F was going to the chemist today I asked him to pick up a tube of cream that I use in the corners of my mouth every once in a while because my skin is slightly allergic to one of my inhalers and the skin gets cracked. It's made by Daktarin but to make sure he got the correct stuff I left the old tube on the table and told him it was the oral gel I needed. Got a notification at lunch of a payment to the chemist of £6.50 and thought it had gone up in price a lot. I get home from work and there's a large tube of Daktarin Gold, used to treat athlete's foot and crotch rot, on the table next to my teeny little tube. He's utterly fucking useless.
 
floppet said:
Knowing Mr F was going to the chemist today I asked him to pick up a tube of cream that I use in the corners of my mouth every once in a while because my skin is slightly allergic to one of my inhalers and the skin gets cracked. It's made by Daktarin but to make sure he got the correct stuff I left the old tube on the table and told him it was the oral gel I needed. Got a notification at lunch of a payment to the chemist of £6.50 and thought it had gone up in price a lot. I get home from work and there's a large tube of Daktarin Gold, used to treat athlete's foot and crotch rot, on the table next to my teeny little tube. He's utterly fucking useless.
Click to expand...
Sorry flops but that made me laugh!
 
That reminds me of the time that my Auntie broke her ankle and as her sister and daughter were helping her into the ambulance, they asker her husband / my uncle to pack a hospital bag for her.

He turned up at the hospital and in the bag was a pair of socks and a packet of biscuits.
 
I Saw Funky Kissing Santa Claus said:
That reminds me of the time that my Auntie broke her ankle and as her sister and daughter were helping her into the ambulance, they asker her husband / my uncle to pack a hospital bag for her.

He turned up at the hospital and in the bag was a pair of socks and a packet of biscuits.
Click to expand...
Last year when I ended up in hospital I told Mr F what I needed him to bring for me in the evening. He brought mismatched pyjamas, a dressing gown that had been left hung on the back of (his) bedroom door that hadn't been worn for several years so it was nicotine stained, stunk and could almost stand up on its own, the shabbiest underwear with holes in and six pairs of socks. There was also a bag of Rib and Saucy NikNaks but no soap, no shampoo, my toothbrush was in there but no toothpaste or hairbrush. I was mortified and he actually got snotty with me when I asked what possessed him, so my mum brought suitable attire and the correct dressing gown the next day.
 
He's just brought me a tube of Orajel downstairs, contains benzocaine for oral pain, and told me to try that. It went out of date last February. JUST BECAUSE THE TUBES ARE THE SAME SIZE DOESN'T MEAN THEY TREAT THE SAME PROBLEMS!

But again I'm the one in the wrong. Maybe I should be more grateful that he collected his own prescription whilst I just spent all day languishing at work.
 
I remember my sister aged approx 10 physically shaking and crying on the toilet in pain because she was so constipated, and my dad ran out and came back with liquid imodium :eyes:
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Users who are viewing this thread

Total: 1 (members: 0, guests: 1)
Back
Top Bottom