Friday gets a voicemail from Twink

[funky]

I am absolutely fucked from my holiday. I need another holiday.

You say this EVERY TIME

 

[funky]

We're in our last burst of summer, I presume. 30°C and sunshine for the next 7 days.

Get OUT.

 

[big ron]

You say this EVERY TIME

I am absolutely shit at doing fuck all

 

[Jark]

speaking of twinks, is darling @Soldi in Amsterdam? if not, you have a beer chugging twin

 

[floppet]

MORNING GIRLS

Just back from WHIZZING Mr Clun to hospital after a GASTROINTESTINAL BLEED

"WAS IT LIKE THE EXORCIST?" said the nice lady doctor

Just steeling myself to MOP UP ALL THE BLOOD in the CLOAKROOM

HAVE A NICE YEAR

I remember when Mr F, on the morning of surgery, passed a kidney stone and there was a copious amount of blood. Arrived at hospital and surgeon asked whether he was OK so Mr F told him about it and he asked "how much blood?". Mr F tried to play it down (to make sure that they didn't send him home again) but I just said "have you seen any of the Saw films? That much!".

 

[floppet]

I haven't left the house since Monday. I'm itching to do everything I'm not supposed to do.

Carry on being good and doing as you're told. You'll soon be able to do everything you want to.

 

[Apoca]

Get OUT.

Not how you meant it but that's kind of a turn on, funky.

 

[Soldi]

speaking of twinks, is darling @Soldi in Amsterdam? if not, you have a beer chugging twin

I wish I was

 

[funky]

I am absolutely shit at doing fuck all

Oh I'm BRILLIANT at it. I can give you lessons if you like.