2024 Melodifestivalen finalists ranked by EVILNESS
1. Maria Sur - Her people are on the right side of history but you just KNOW she keeps a frequently updated burn book.
2. Jay Smith - Is quietly convinced that he only failed to win because woke.
3. Annicka Wikihalder - A bad seed on this earth.
4. Danny Saucedo - Still runs an active burner account dedicated to spreading vicious rumours about Loreen.
5. Marcus & Martinus - Keep the third triplet locked in the attic with an occasionally refreshed bucket of fish heads.
6. LIAMOO - The definitional centrist dad
7. Dotter - Instinctually liberal but starting to get a bit evangelical about motherhood post-sprog.
8. Lisa Ajax - Thinks Dotter needs to STFU about the holistic benefits of breastfeeding.
9. Medina - Here for a good time, not a long time.
10. Jacqline - Dispenses no-bullshit but empathetic advice with one hand while ordering you a safe Uber home with the other.
11. Smash Into Pieces - Like most screamcore types, unfailingly kind-hearted and liberal.
12. Cazzi Opeia - The den mother we all need. She’s seen, done and snorted it all. She’ll make sure you get the good stuff, cradle you through the comedown and never breathe a word of what she’s seen and heard to anyone.