I'm LEAVING

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AGinAg (37)

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You’ll have to excuse me for the self-indulgent topic, but this is quite important for me. I'll be around for a few hours and have asked for a permanent ban later today.

I have decided to leave. I love this forum, perhaps more than anyone else. I care about it as a thriving community and it’s just great right now. I’ve been here since I was a teenager, I’ve shared my life experiences here and shared many of yours. I have committed probably more time and energy to this place than anyone. I understand that this has made me an unbannable liability at times and caused a lot of discomfort. I have spent hours and days justifying or repenting for past behaviours. Honestly, I just can’t do it anymore. I'm not having a crazy moment, I'm feeling perfectly rational, this is what I want.

Moopy is a place I come to escape to reality. Yet in recent years, it seems that every few months, something comes back to haunt me and makes this experience less than pleasant. I think I knew something had changed after the racist tags. That was never who I was, so God knows that happened, but I know in people’s minds that made me vulnerable and worse a racist. I’ll admit I had been used to a certain status here, that I’ve never really had in real life. It hurt a lot when I spectacularly fucked up and lost that. Like in every situation, I attempted to show growth and learning, which is hard when there are constantly new conversations about me appearing.

The endless witch hunts, where the normal suspects crawl out the woodwork, reek of hypocrisy, but also expose me in an increasingly depressing way. I can’t be somewhere, where right or wrong there’s always the possibility I’m going to have to go through that again and again. This doesn’t happen in real life. I just get sacked or deleted off Facebook. I’m 40 now, I don’t need to be stung constantly by past events. I’m sure some people will have things to say about this, but that’s my honest perspective and that’s why I’m doing this. If you want to keep having certain endless conversations, please go ahead, but don’t involve me.

While I’m here… Chlammy – I tried to apologise at the time, but you’d blocked me. So I’m sincerely sorry, we have had very different levels of what we can tolerate and that was a learning curve for me. Dub – I’m not sure what you’re talking about? If you think I was behind the ‘ugly’ tag, I wasn’t. I wouldn’t do that hunny. The anti-semitic tags weren’t me either. Sorry to anyone who’s ever been hurt by my behaviour on here. For the love of Moopy, can we leave it now?

Anyway, I love this place, and I can’t see this being forever, but I need a significant break at the very least. Happily, I leave at a time when Moopy is thriving and that’s amazing for me and the site. I think in the past I rather arrogantly thought, this place won’t survive without me. I can see now that it’s very well equipped to survive. I’m also utterly addicted and spend way too long on here. It’s such an unnecessary distraction so often. I need to start exercising, get a job and finish my degree, as well as helping the cluster fuck of damaged people in my life.

I’m sure the mod panel will breathe a sigh of relief when they hear they won’t have to deal with my demands or have another complaint about me. As someone who almost definitely struggles with their mental health, this place isn’t equipped to deal with that, with all the other important issues going on. I’m aware that I’ve often done more damage than good to this place and my departure is as important for Moopy as it is for me. Hopefully, this will be good for everyone. I’m sorry for those who this doesn’t benefit. You know where to find me if there’s something you think I need to know.

Much love

Ag

xxx
 
Give over. Have a few days off and come back. Maybe even flirt with a few nom de plumes like Zu. Either way I don't think anyone would want you to go for good, even if you are a pain in the arse sometimes x
 
Nah, it needs to be longer than that. Much longer. I need to go for the sake of everyone. It's crystal clear to me that these awful conversations will never end with me here.
 
I don’t quite know what to say about this. Your explanation for wanting some time away makes a lot more sense to me than it did when you announced it in the other thread - if it’s for your mental health then this is a commendable decision. On a personal level, I’ll be gutted not having you around as you’re one of the posters I most enjoy talking to and you contribute so much to the forum as a whole.
More than anything I hope that there’s a way both you and the people named in your post can find a way to be comfortable with sharing this space.
Take care.
 
Thank you for apologising. My inbox was also full and I didn't realise, as we've found out.

If you need to leave then do, but if you want to come back please don't think I'm going to kick into a rage. We've been fine since the summer. And everyone has stuff they need to work on, myself included, so don't take this as patronising either.

I thought the thread yesterday was respectful from all ends so was just surprised when you got annoyed.
 
Ag, you have to do what's best for you. And sometimes you need some distance to see that. Take a break. I hope it only is a break and we see you back whenever it right for you - whether that's a week, a month or a year.

Until then, more cat shots on facebook, please x
 
It seems like you've thought long and hard about this and come to this decision and it won't have been easy for you. But you know your own mind and if you feel this is what you need to do, then do it! I know all too well how things can get on top of you and a break may do you the world of good. This place will always be here for you in the future if you decide to come back.

In the meantime though, take care of yourself. x
 
There was an ugly tag? :D That's fine, I know I'm a solid 6.

Interesting that you've chosen to dredge up and repeat an insult that was directed at me on your way out the door though.

All the best dealing with the other aspects of your life that need your attention. I'm sure you're not as cruel a person in your real life as you have often been over the years you've spent here.

Best of luck.
 
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Shit. I don't know you from Adam and we had a bust-up, but I genuinely hope you'll be fine. A lot of people are so tense right now, myself included. Maybe it's no bad thing to take a break for a while. I do it sometimes too. Don't do a permanent ban though. You might feel differently in a wee while.

Take care!
 
I think if you feel you are addicted you should certainly take a break. Probably many of us are addicted to this place - certainly all of the people posting 100+ a week, every week - and I also sometimes wonder if that can be healthy. Too much time spent looking at a screen or being online in any capacity generally is not good for the mental health.

However please don't leave because of your "reputation" (ooh! look what you made me do! etc), past misdemeanours (which truly are in the past, and if anyone is still riding a stick about those then they can get fucked) or anything related to how you see yourself and how others see you within the Moopy sphere. These things are always a bit off, we can't view ourselves with total objectivity. I often think I'm absolutely fundamental to the continued existence of both this forum, the lives of everybody around me IRL and perhaps the entire world, but I do have to acknowledge the possibility that it's untrue. Nonetheless, I'm here and I'm queer, honey.

To conclude, my prescription for the patient is a short break, a healthy dash of recreational drug play and a heavy dose of either masturbation or penetration. I'll see you in two weeks, please send the next one in.
 
Oh Ag, you are an absolute darling and such a complicated soul which just adds to your fantastic character. I will really miss you on here, as you are indispensable and add so much to the forum. Reading your post I do agree that you must go and find your way in the “real world” again, and without Moopy as a distraction. Take care my darling, and I really hope to see you back here with an invigorated version of your amazing self in the future with your personal life pieced together the way you want it.x
 
ButterTart said:
More than anything I hope that there’s a way both you and the people named in your post can find a way to be comfortable with sharing this space.
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From my end I want to be clear that I have no problem doing that, and have been doing it. Any issues I've had with Ag recently, I've put directly to him at the time. We've had it out and got on with it on each occasion.

The tags thread was about the past which is why I brought up the hurt I've felt - not addressing Ag specifically. As we know, things escalated and without bringing it all up again I was reminded of some wider circumstances over the time he and I have both been members here. I said what I said (.gif) and I don't take it back.

That said, I'm all for moving forward and have no issues with coexisting if and when Ag decides to return. And I do sincerely wish him the best with sorting stuff out.
 
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Yes, Moopy will survive without you but you are without a doubt an important (albeit divisive!) poster. It genuinely meant a lot to me that you were impressed with the way I ran ASFM. I hope you do return, and that that day isn't too long away, but I echo what's been said above that you must do what is right for you.
 
Iguana said:
Yes, Moopy will survive without you but you are without a doubt an important (albeit divisive!) poster. It genuinely meant a lot to me that you were impressed with the way I ran ASFM. I hope you do return, and that that day isn't too long away, but I echo what's been said above that you must do what is right for you.
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I'm in full agreement with this - you have to think about what's best for you.
 
I'm very sorry to hear this, but can only echo the people who have said that if you need to get your head right and can most easily do that without this place, then you're making the right decision. I will look forward to welcoming you back absolutely as soon as you feel that you are up to it.
 
ButterTart said:
All the times I’ve done a disappearing act it’s been because my mental health has taken a hammering and stepping away from interacting with people felt like the healthiest thing to do. Completely respect Ag’s decision here and just hope it’s not for too long.
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I should clarify that it was never BECAUSE of Moopy that my mental health took said hammering.
 
Right. Switch me off @Indie.

See ya'll on the other side. Well some of you. The rest of you can go FUCK YOURSELVES.

:)
 
I started reading that thinking, stop being ridiculous and get over it, and finished thinking - it is actually just a forum. Life is more important. You do you. In 16 years I don’t think I’ve ever read such humility from Ag. Might just be me.

I’m sure he’ll be back though. Bye for now.
 
Ska-rmavbild-2020-09-16-kl-22-02-09.png



screaming
 
The funniest thing he EVER said was "Sadly our Pearl Jam Forum recently closed and was merged into our Steps forum."

R.I.P., Ag.
 
Anyone surprised that it was Ms @dUb who eventually brought down Ag needs to understand The Meaning of Mariah Carey and how playing Outside, Can't Take That Away (Mariah's Theme) and Fly Like A Bird daily for fifteen-to-twenty years eventually means you declare "I am not interested in being your victim anymore", causing wig loss all around
 
Loufoque said:
Anyone surprised that it was Ms @dUb who eventually brought down Ag needs to understand The Meaning of Mariah Carey and how playing Outside, Can't Take That Away (Mariah's Theme) and Fly Like A Bird daily for fifteen-to-twenty years eventually means you declare "I am not interested in being your victim anymore", causing wig loss all around
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when I say that I gasped :o
 
Loufoque said:
Anyone surprised that it was Ms @dUb who eventually brought down Ag needs to understand The Meaning of Mariah Carey and how playing Outside, Can't Take That Away (Mariah's Theme) and Fly Like A Bird daily for fifteen-to-twenty years eventually means you declare "I am not interested in being your victim anymore", causing wig loss all around
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:D I like how this post is basically a bit of (cheap) Mariah promotion.

You lambs. There ain't nothing you won't do.
 
Edward said:
:D I like how this post is basically a bit of (cheap) Mariah promotion.

You lambs. There ain't nothing you won't do.
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Maybe if you promoted Karly with the same level of commitment, she would have 19 US #1s
 
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