It’s Sunday, Madame Deputy Speaker, all is not LOST!

having quite a panic rn. en route to Amsterdam Central station to get the Eurostar, but v late due to lots of ARSING AROUND with my passenger locator form which I forgot to do yesterday and which takes FOREVER! Then i waited at the wrong metro platform for 10 minutes and now I will arrive with just one hour to spare (they advise 90-120 mins). also i need a shit.
 
I've got a funeral on Thursday. I'd better make sure my suit doesn't need the dry cleaners.
 
update: one hour was ABUNDANTLY FINE! already through security. god bless TRAIN TRAVEL!
 
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I do think train is my favourite mode of transport. As long as I have a seat reservation.
 
I love the train, especially when its a nice train and a long journey. If I ever write a book I'll do it on the train.
 
So many THICK FUCKS walking around the Bullring without masks on today. I sincerely hope they all give their families Covid and Christmas is ruined and they die.
 
A Lorra Lorra shite!

Those poor kids are worse dancers than she is a singer. Should have got the Pink Windmill Kids in.

Plus that set didn’t half remind me of The Cosby Show.

 
A Lorra Lorra shite!

Those poor kids are worse dancers than she is a singer. Should have got the Pink Windmill Kids in.

Plus that set didn’t half remind me of The Cosby Show.



She sounds like a dying cat.

And if they’re “gonna party all night long”, why is she kicking them out?
 
Bimbled to the corner shop earlier and as I passed the freezer I noticed Micro-Chips so I impulse-bought them (£1.29 for two boxes) as I've not had them for years. Straight out of the microwave they were indistinguishable from Burger King fries and hotter than the sun but after two minutes they'd turned squishy and became inedible so I gave the rest to the dog.
 
I'm kind of glad microwave chips are always a disappointment. I'd be riddled with rickets and scurvy if they were any good.
 
I've not bought an air fryer for the very reason that I'm afraid I'd like it too much.
 
Understandable but they’re also good for vegetables and other healthy things
 
They may well be, but that's not what I'd use it for in a world where battered chocolate bars are a possibility.
 
Did I tell you I bought one in the black Friday sales? Well it's an all in one thingy. It does EVERYTHING
Unless it puts the Dyson around while I'm at work and can unblock the sink in our en suite, I'm not buying.
 
As I'm really a Grinch and I hate Christmas I've been trying to get some Christmas spirit (not the alcohol) this year. Last weekend I watched The Holiday and another Christmas film that I can't remember for the life of me, today I've watched Christmas Chronicles 1 and 2 and had the iTunes Christmas Essentials playlist on while I've been making tea. Not even Mary's Boy Child got me festive when it kicks into the Oh My Lord bit.

I haven't even bought cards yet, Mr F has two presents and spawn has one. If Santa Claus is real I'll wake up on Friday morning and the decorations will be up, loads of prezzies wrapped and everything will be good. I'm going to run with that because I currently have a tree with lights on but not plugged in in the bay window and tinsel over two pictures. I've even been jingling my sleigh-bells to no avail.
 
Someone suggested a festive moopy zoom call a day or two ago, didn't they?

Who do I need to not sleep with to make it happen?
 
Why does nobody ever call out Uncle Frank for being such a CUNT in the Home Alone films? The first one should have ended with him going upstairs and getting smashed in the face with a paint pot. The second one should have ended with him having a fatal heart attack.

Buzz can fuck off as well.
 

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