Jark.FM 7

[Jark]

that's right bitches.

we're BACK for the first Jark.FM of 2k21! coming directly after Miss Kate is done with the ASFM results, so you better bring a MOP in addition to your party dress and that (probably expired) bottle of poppers you swiped from Lucy's CABINET!

I've been putting this setlist together since December so if it's no good I might as well just kill myself - but I think you're gonna enjoy. I'll be serving you some deep n' grimy basement house, some funk, a little old school disco and at least one of my favourite remixes of all time. so you'd better be there and you'd BETTER be QUEER. (@ButterTart also welcome!)

see you Friday, 930/post-ASFM, for 1h30 of DIRTY TUNES

@OutSynk @funky @Lucille @Tisch @Iguana @RJN @POP! @Ag @wurst @COB @Pingu @Beverley @RaspberrySwirl @FetchFugly @ManicKangaroo @Raining On Me @Mugatu @Beryl @ZenGiraffe @big ron @Mats @Dark Carnival @Sheena @joanne @Frozen @Music @Pipo @Suomi @Soldi

 

[Iguana]

A three-month gestation period, it's going to be epic I'm sure

 

[big ron]

Ha, I found a mostly hoofed bottle of expired floor poppers in a draw at the weekend.

 

[Lucille]

HUNTY my BUSSY is positively PARCHED, so I’m GOD DAMN GASPING for you to blow your SWEET MUSICAL LOADS deep into not just my HOLE, but additionally my SOUL. WHAT I mean is, SIGN ME UP, LAY ME DOWN, and don’t forget HURT ME.

 

[Jark]

HUNTY my BUSSY is positively PARCHED, so I’m GOD DAMN GASPING for you to blow your SWEET MUSICAL LOADS deep into not just my HOLE, but additionally my SOUL. WHAT I mean is, SIGN ME UP, LAY ME DOWN, and don’t forget HURT ME.

can somebody call an EMERGENCY TOP for LUCY PLEASE.

 

[OutSynk]

HUNTY my BUSSY is positively PARCHED, so I’m GOD DAMN GASPING for you to blow your SWEET MUSICAL LOADS deep into not just my HOLE, but additionally my SOUL. WHAT I mean is, SIGN ME UP, LAY ME DOWN, and don’t forget HURT ME.

 

[Dark Carnival]

:emoji_raising_hand:

 

[OutSynk]

Getting tagged first? Some of these beats must be extra grimy.

 

[Jark]

Getting tagged first? Some of these beats must be extra grimy.

I'm sure you'll tell me it's all 100% HANDBAG.

 

[Jark]

forgot to tag @Dance Witch Abortion but I think you'll get loose to this so please join

 

[Pipo]

I'm sure you'll tell me it's all 100% HANDBAG.

I absolutely LIVE FOR Handbag

 

[RJN]

Will this be happening immediately after ASFM? Asking for a friend who needs to go to the grocery store

 

[jivafox]

I'm going to sit in here and wait. I'm not going back into that other thread.

 

[RJN]

I'm going to sit in here and wait. I'm not going back into that other thread.

But you're in first place now

 

[Jark]

Will this be happening immediately after ASFM? Asking for a friend who needs to go to the grocery store

depends what time it finishes! I'm ready from about 9.30 but can push for a bit if your friend has fast legs

 

[Soldi]

Soz Jark hun but I’m watching Sanremo

 

[RJN]

Its already over! 9:30 is perfect (for me at least, I won't speak for everyone)

 

[Lucille]

9.30 UK time yes?

 

[Эулия]

Soz Jark hun but I’m watching Sanremo

I’m not sure why (well I do - I know exactly what Sanremo is like) but

A BOY NEEDS HIS PRIORITIES!

 

[RJN]

9.30 UK time yes?

Will yesterday's livestream be over by then?

 

[Lucille]

I’M GONNA DO A WARMUP OF NOODLING JAZZ DISASTERS.

 

[Tisch]

We've got an HOUR? Oh dear! :emoji_beer:

(jokes: I'm actually being quite good tonight)

 

[Jark]

get DRUNK FIRST

 

[Jark]

hope y'all are ready to SERVE

Spoiler: ATTIRE

 

[Lucille]

TITS AND WILLIES OUT FOR MME. JARK.

 

[jivafox]

MY PUSSY IS SHAVED

 

[Lucille]

MY BUSSY IS BATHED

 

[Tisch]

I'M ALSO PRESENT

 

[Lucille]

YAY

 

[Lucille]

Jark is your date TOMORROW? Best not get TOO MERRY.

 

[RJN]

I say invite your date over for Jark.fm

 

[Lucille]

I want to open a bottle of wine but can’t face the judgement from my parents the morning after.

‘Oh did you finish the bottle last night?’

 

[RJN]

If I learned anything in high school, it’s hide the empty bottles in cabinets and they won’t find it until they’re selling the house

 

[Soldi]

I want to open a bottle of wine but can’t face the judgement from my parents the morning after.

‘Oh did you finish the bottle last night?’

I’ve already finished one bottle

 

[Lucille]

I mean I usually polish off two bottles on a Friday, can’t wait to get back to London and get PROPERLY RATARSED.

 

[Jark]

prepping my VO and my supertight gunny simultaneously right now

 

[RJN]

I’ve opened my first drink. I hope to be on my second for the SHOW

 

[Lucille]

POST PLAYLIST PLEASE

 

[Lucille]

POST SULTRY INTRO PLEASE

 

[Jark]

Bon soir, sluts
& welcome to the 7th edition of...
JARK.FM

because I love you I've spent literally months slaving away on this playlist, determined to make it a 90 minute PEACH of a set. so if you miss dancing, or going out, or you're just a real dirty hoe for that good ol' fashioned HOUSE music, you're in the right place.

so! let's flood the basement with some handbag house and BOOGIE ON DOWN!







press play on the DJ at 9.35 exactemente, s'il vous plaît!