Jay Aston to stand as MP for Brexit Party

I wonder how many clips, clogs and pulleys are squirreled away beneath that barnet?
 
Yvonne Mondle said:
I’m not even sure I’d recognise her in a crowd these days although she is famously only three foot tall and technically a midget so can be quite easily kicked to the floor or trodden on :disco:

ElainePaige_220119_Feature.jpg


Put your hand over the smile / grimace and just look at the Brexit hate in the Paige eyes :(
Click to expand...
She misses dwarf status by an inch I believe. I researched this years ago because I was wanting to call somebody a dwarf.
 
Hang on, where's @Star? She's either a midget or a dwarf, and gets upset if she's called the wrong one.

Midget or dwarf, she's awful either way. EP that is, OBVIOUSLY
 
Why am I not at all surprised to discover that EP née B’s (supposedly) middle name is JILL? She’s much more of a JILL than an ELAINE :side-eye:
 
I'm AGOG that you can be a DWARF at 4 foot 10

Surely that's not THAT UNUSUALLY SHORT for a WOMAN?
 
Shirley said:
I'm AGOG that you can be a DWARF at 4 foot 10

Surely that's not THAT UNUSUALLY SHORT for a WOMAN?
Click to expand...
I was too, it seemed awfully tall for a dwarf.

A dwarf is an extremely short adult who is less than 58 inches tall. The word midget is considered derogatory and offensive. Both words describe a short person, but refer to different physical characteristics and genetic conditions.

"Midget" refers to a person who is very short, but normally proportioned. The term midget is now rarely used and is considered offensive. But its usage was very common until the end of the twentieth century. It has given way to "short person" or "little person".

"Dwarf" refers to a person with one of several varieties of a specific genetic condition called dwarfism. A dwarf has disproportion of body parts. This is generally caused by a genetic or nutritional disability. Any adult human below the height of 4'10" (147 cm) is considered a dwarf.
 
I’m trying to work out how we got from Adolf Aston to midgets (:D) but it was obviously via Miss Paige, who is allegedly infamously good at changing the subject, especially when it comes to the quantity of empty gin bottles in the boudoir :disco:

MORE FÜHRER FIZZ HATE SPEECH PLEASE
 
From Popbitch:

>> Brex Fizz <<
The land of make amends

We didn't think the list of Brexit Party candidates could get any weirder-sounding (featuring, as it does, names like Marc Bozza, Dominic Frisby, Hortense Sheppard and Alaric Bamping). But then we didn't count on Bucks Fizz singer Jay Aston tossing her hat into the ring.

She might not have much in the way of political experience, but she's got one skill that's invaluable if you're going to flourish in a Farage-fronted party: the knack of making her apologies memorable.

When Jay was caught having an affair with her former manager's husband, she wrote the couple a huge, grovelling letter of apology.

Which she signed off "The Slut".
 
Kate said:
Marc Bozza, Dominic Frisby, Hortense Sheppard and Alaric Bamping
Click to expand...

It feels like these names have been made up by Internet people to troll the Brexit Party and none of them really exist. Confirmation will be when Dorothy Friend (Mrs) is announced as the candidate for a Bristol seat.
 
I'm sorry, but that's borderline offensive :evil:

Dorothy Friend (Mrs) is a lovely old biddy who finds everything delightful and will no doubt be voting Green.

Now Brig. Gen. George Delfont (retired) on the other hand is a steaming great cunt.
 
She writes to a local newspaper. She couldn't be more Brexity if she was going to a strip club at lunchtime.
 
Oh she does that as well. Just as the entertainment, not the audience.
 
We probably already know this but apparently Crudge was very excited about Boris Johnson being PM, no doubt in the hope that he’ll get rid of all the coons and Polish scum

What a FILTHY STINKING SCAB
 
Is it worth searching Mike Nolan's twitter, or is he still remotely operated?
 
God knew what he was doing with that coach crash but Satan intervened to take them as his own :(

The Mike Stock Twitter really is VILE. Perhaps The Fizz’s new album will be called THE RACE HATE SESSIONS or perhaps just SIEG HEIL
 
Apparently the 2020 tour (I mean, always assuming Hilda Colquhounis doesn't get herself elected :basil:) is called Up Close And Personal.

I imagine it's selling VERY WELL in Great Yarmouth and Thurrock.
 
I reckon a moopy field trip could half fill some of the venues. Can anyone drive a minibus?
 
I had to unfollow MS JOAN COLLINS because she was celebrating old BJ becoming PM. She’s blatantly a Brexiteer too, if her moany book about “GOING BACK TO THE GOOD OLD DAYS” is anything to go by.

Jackie would NEVER.
 
I seem to remember Joan being quite vocally anti immigration in the past.
 
Nothing grinds my gears than people who talk about "The Good Old Days" or "I Had A Cushy Childhood In A Nice Little Bubble". Aye, I'm sure everyone misses polio, diptheria, measles (ooh, it's making a comeback!), rickets, high infant mortality, outside toilets, industrial injuries and inner city pollution. Who remembers shit tasteless food, gristle in their sausages and Peter Sutcliffe?

FUCK OFF.
 
octophone said:
Nothing grinds my gears than people who talk about "The Good Old Days" or "I Had A Cushy Childhood In A Nice Little Bubble". Aye, I'm sure everyone misses polio, diptheria, measles (ooh, it's making a comeback!), rickets, high infant mortality, outside toilets, industrial injuries and inner city pollution. Who remembers shit tasteless food, gristle in their sausages and Peter Sutcliffe?

FUCK OFF.
Click to expand...
But you could leave your backdoor open! :ken:
 
octophone said:
Nothing grinds my gears than people who talk about "The Good Old Days" or "I Had A Cushy Childhood In A Nice Little Bubble". Aye, I'm sure everyone misses polio, diptheria, measles (ooh, it's making a comeback!), rickets, high infant mortality, outside toilets, industrial injuries and inner city pollution. Who remembers shit tasteless food, gristle in their sausages and Peter Sutcliffe?

FUCK OFF.
Click to expand...

I know right

Everyone knows 'the Good Old Days' only applies to the charts.
 
Mind you, it's pretty shit right now. There is a fairly decent cause for missing the past RIGHT NOW.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Users who are viewing this thread

Total: 1 (members: 0, guests: 1)
Back
Top Bottom