Legs and Co DEAD in CHAMOIS THONG FACTORY EXPLOSION

[Penelope]

WHATEVER will the PRESS SAY

 

[Shirley]

Didn't I have a CHAMOIS THONG at one point? I don't know HOW these RUMOURS get STARTED!

 

[GNL]

They say the legs were the last to go

 

[Penelope]

Didn't I have a CHAMOIS THONG at one point? I don't know HOW these RUMOURS get STARTED!

It was in ALL THE MAGAZINES

 

[Kratz]

Merkins looted from the scene

 

[Penelope]

Celine Dion witnessed EATING LIPSTICK NEARBY

 

[Joseph]

NEWS : Janet Jackson cancels HER thong explosion

 

[Sheena]

NAR: STEVIE NICKS TO BRONZE BABIES IN EXPLODED FACTORY

 

[big ron]

NASDEQ in turmoil as YEN linked thong index tumbles

 

[Penelope]

Mark Carney spotted WEARING CHAMOIS THONG in Cabinet meeting to support thong stock prices and raise public morale

 

[Joseph]

Thong outlives Queen Elizabeth

 

[Penelope]

NAR: King Charles III caught RIPPING THONG FROM VENUS DE MILO STATUE

 

[Sheena]

OT: Queen Camilla FUMING

(Not about King Charles, just generally)

 

[AGinAg (37)]

News: Wendy Moten offers FREE THONG with every FISTING SLING sold, in another BLOW to the THONG INDUSTRY.

 

[Sheena]

NAR: Donatella Versace to launch thong made from the excess skin of previous facelifts in surprise fashion development

 

[Penelope]

NAR: Sisqó reportedly DEAD from GRIEF following news of exploded factory / Leg and Co

 

[Kratz]

NAR: Noele Gordon defies expectations by choking to death on edible thong

'Just watch me, i'll do it'

 

[Penelope]

Donna Winter found SOUR and UNCONVERSATIONAL following news Owen Jones rejected evening of non-penetrative sex in chamois thong

 

[AGinAg (37)]

Mary Berry celebrates her 90th birthday by parading around the West End in a crotchless thong. Multiple casualties reported.

 

[Shirley]

Donna Winter found SOUR and UNCONVERSATIONAL following news Owen Jones rejected evening of non-penetrative sex in chamois thong

Even in the CURRENT STATE OF AFFAIRS WHICH I WON'T GO INTO IT'S STILL NOT TEMPTING

 

[Joseph]

JUST IN : Lisa Scott-Lee SHOCKS in Dubai thong SCANDAL following a tumble down a sand dune

 

[Penelope]

NAR: Janet-Street Porter caught YELLING INTO CAVERNOUS CUNT; using thong for flossing after

 

[big ron]

BREAKING: JD Vance chamois thong plot for Middle East leaked in exposed MSN Messenger chat

 

[AGinAg (37)]

Queen Victoria thong photos discovered in musty house auction, causing ripples amongst the HISTORIC THONG COMMUNITY.

 

[GNL]

She wants her thong back:

 

[Penelope]

NAR: Yazz ARRESTED on suspicion of collaboration with the Plastic Population

 

[Joseph]

JUST IN : Perrie BUSTED in full bottom panty SHOCKER!

 

[Penelope]

: King Charles III on TRIAL at the Hague over Venus De Milo statue thong-ripping allegations

"I did it for THE FAME!" the 70-something sausage-fingered songstress cried out from the dock

 

[Sheena]

NAR: Boney M revealed to be behind rise in thong sales in OUTER MONGOLIA.

 

[Penelope]

OT: Dale Winton reported to Metropolitan Police for CALLUSED RECTUM

 

[Joseph]

NEWS : “IS THIS A THONG OR A TORTURE DEVICE?!?” screams a PERPLEXED Sir Anthony Hopkins

 

[AGinAg (37)]

NTR: New documents show Penelope Keith and JFK were romantically INTERTWINED after a chance meeting at a Bernard Matthews SLAUGHTER HOUSE.

 

[Penelope]

NTR: New documents show Penelope Keith and JFK were romantically INTERTWINED after a chance meeting at a Bernard Matthews SLAUGHTER HOUSE.

GET that NON THONG RELATED FILTH out of THIS CHAT!

 

[Penelope]

AR: Cara Delevingne buried in OPEN CASKET after dying of musty minge/kennel cunt-19

 

[AGinAg (37)]

OT: Dale Winton reported to Metropolitan Police for CALLUSED RECTUM

GET that NON THONG RELATED FILTH out of THIS CHAT!

OK Kala

 

[Penelope]

It's a DEVELOPING PLOTLINE

 

[AGinAg (37)]

It's a DEVELOPING PLOTLINE

Well it turns out that BERNARD MATTHEWS SLAUGHTERHOUSE is THONG RELATED.

 

[Shirley]

Jennifer Capriati signs to BEJAM RECORDS and makes pop debut with cover of THE THONG SONG

Nike said to be FLOODED OUT

 

[Joseph]

Bea Arthur exclaims “I really cut my teeth on off-off-off Broadway thongs,” from BEYOND THE GRAVE

 

[AGinAg (37)]

Complaints received after customers receive their Bernard Matthews Christmas turkeys wearing electric pink thongs. 3 aroused.