Local news in non-rioting places

There's one in my local about a DRUNKEN LESBAIN smashing up a KEBAB shop after one of the employers giggled at her and her LADY LOVER and said something in forrin but really I just can't
 
I love the detail that he had to "top up" Johnson's pint. I mean, there were rumours that Fuzz was, erm, "gifted" beyond what would have been a small displacement of fluid but way to confirm that for us all.
 
Is anyone else finding the activities at the W**** / Common car park to be a bit too frequent and intrusive? I like to walk my dog up there but every time I go there are half a dozen men (often more) lingering by their cars and coming out of the bushes. Do what you like in private, but it feels like it’s intentionally indiscreet and it makes me feel uncomfortable. Do the council and police intentionally turn a blind eye?
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:D I can't remember where we went now! But it wasn't here, I didn't know about it till tonight.
 
Mr S wonders why almost all the stories in the local rag tend to be like THIS ONE

CLICKBAIT, sweet cheeks, CLICKBAIT
 
KKK restaurant to open
 
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However, officers kept abreast of the matter, and while searching a house for other items found the sign under a bed.
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Wonder what else they were searching for?
 
Anyone who pays thirty quid to see Heather Small deserves what they get.
 
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