MELODIFESTIVALEN 2027 GOSSIP OCH BITCHING THREAD

[Penelope]

It's MELFEST SOLSTICE GIRLS

Never mind that it rarely bangs as much as it used to (until the inevitably fairly solid final), it's time to start MINCING WITH THRILL at the varying RUMOURS and MYSTERIOUS INSTA PHOTOS OF UNGLAMOROUS STOCKHOLM STUDIOS as Klaras, Meiras and Annikafiores start trooping to the likes of Jimmy Joker, Anderz Wrethov and G:son, snuffling away for whatever scrag ends they have lying around in dusty Macbook folders from demo sessions with Love Generation once upon a time...

SO - WHO do you want in this year?

 

[VoR]

Rumours abound that LOREEN is going back to the well next year, having squandered her post-Tattoo goodwill at an impressive (lack of) pace even for her.

 

[Penelope]

2027 WISHLIST

- Klara Hammarström with an utterly transparent Bangaranga rip-off, tailored to her single octave vocal range
- Carola with an utterly transparent Eclipse rip-off, tailored to her single-minded quest for world domination
- Jessica Andersson with an utterly transparent bit of mouldy old poo, tailored for a sticky Kopparberg-infused dancefloor at Patricia
- Cimberly, OBVIOUSLY
- Greczula with an Andreas Johnson-esque last heave too far (preferably listenable)
- Tone Sekelius - either hosting or with a re-entry, it has been TOO LONG
- Anis don Demina & Oscar Zia gay-straight alliance party track
- DOLLY STYLE GO TO THE CLUB
- Kiana/Theoz glittering handbag house banger
- Cazzi Opeia (Confessions III banger)
- Maria Sur (City Lights banger)
- if we MUST have one of those Eva Jumatate types from last year back, an actual song to go with the decent pipes please
- Roger Pontare with a new age-themed warning about the dangers of spice
- EMD going OnlyFans collab mode
- Jon-Henrik Fjällgren (but on the SOLE proviso he is forced to bring back Aninia - otherwise NO)
- oh fine I guess Molly Hammar's earned another throw of the dice by now
- Wiktoria apology tour
- Tess Merkel apology to her bank manager tour
- Linda Bengtzing finally getting her shit together and realising her only hope of ever qualifying again is an unashamed balls to the wall schlager throwback with Magnus Carlsson
- Kamferdrops being smuggled into the lineup through some form of blackmail
- DOTTER
- Anna Bergendahl in a one bridge too far ill-advised return to warn Sweden about the perils of rising sea levels
- Frans (obscure jumbo plats shame)
- DINAH FUCKING NAH HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO ASK
- Nanne Grönvall spoken-word acid trip (preferably halfway between Mirakel and Tatianna - Same Parts)

I HARDLY THINK THAT'S TOO MUCH TO ASK

 

[Penelope]

Rumours abound that LOREEN is going back to the well next year, having squandered her post-Tattoo goodwill at an impressive (lack of) pace even for her.

Oh please dear god be a sequel to Statements

 

[win_the_game]

Rumours abound that LOREEN is going back to the well next year, having squandered her post-Tattoo goodwill at an impressive (lack of) pace even for her.

ALLEGEDLY because she postponed her tour. I assumed it was just some Eurovision fantasist jumping to conclusions.

 

[GNL]

ALLEGEDLY because she postponed her tour. I assumed it was just some Eurovision fantasist jumping to conclusions.

She actually had scheduling conflicts (she had marked it out in her calendar to get stoned in a peat bog) so they had to push it back.

 

[Pingu]

ALLEGEDLY because she postponed her tour. I assumed it was just some Eurovision fantasist jumping to conclusions.

Yes it’s this basically. They couldn’t comprehend of the more plausible explanation that about 14 people had bought tickets.

 

[VoR]

The Melfest rumour did make it to the Swedish press, though that’s hardly a high bar for accuracy.

 

[FetchFugly]

As always... LILI OCH SUSSIE

 

[VoR]

Sanna back again like a junkie who mistakenly told herself that one more hit for old times sake wouldn’t hurt.

 

[Penelope]

Sanna back again like a junkie who mistakenly told herself that one more hit for old times sake wouldn’t hurt.

I'M THE SANNARANG

 

[dUb]

Now why would Wiktoria need an apology tour when her most recent entry is her best yet?

 

[Penelope]

Now why would Wiktoria need an apology tour when her most recent entry is her best yet?

It WAS but she certainly didn't perform it like it was!

 

[dUb]

It’s a SURE FIRE Melfest Top 10 for me and I love that for me

 

[Penelope]

Wonder what Victoria Silvstedt's up to lately

 

[Penelope]

God, how does she manage to look AI in the most predictable setting possible for her

 

[ButterTart]

Now why would Wiktoria need an apology tour when her most recent entry is her best yet?

I hate to be the one to tell you this but she's shat out, like, two since As I Lay Me Down.

 

[dUb]

I hate to be the one to tell you this but she's shat out, like, two since As I Lay Me Down.

Thrilled to be the one to tell you my point still stands!

 

[Penelope]

Oh, Oscar Zia and Björn Kjellman have been announced as the hosts (with Aftonbladet's coverage saying "they hated each other from the beginning" )

 

[win_the_game]

Oscar Zia , 29, and Björn Kjellman , 63, will now host Melodifestivalen next year. It was revealed on Friday morning when the duo visited SVT's Morgonstudion.

There they tell us that they didn't like each other when they first got to know each other.

– You hated me from the beginning, jokes Oscar Zia.

– No, it was the other way around, you were the one who hated me first, Björn Kjellman replies.

Finally, they met at a dinner at Hanna Hellquist's house and found each other.

What do mean by "FOUND EACH OTHER"? Is that code word for FUCKING?