Moopy Job Listings

[Suomi]

Hi there, due to circumstances completely within my control I have recently been made redundant and I was wondering what sort of vacancies moopy has to offer.

My basic skill set includes:

• Editing
• Argument and debate
• Managing conflict situations
• Working as part of a team
• Blaming others for my actions

My qualifications include degrees in:

• 3 years of Ruth Lorenzo studies
• The Swedish-Spanish civil war
• Eating and crying

Previous references cannot be provided due to an ongoing tribunal.

Please advertise your Moopy vacancies below and hopefully I can get some applications out!

 

[SDF]

Only fans babes x

 

[AGinAg (37)]

Do you mind blacking up?

 

[AGinAg (37)]

Would you be prepared to take steroids?

 

[OutSynk]

The Swedish-Spanish civil war

And I oop.

 

[big ron]

I need someone to package up 'stuff' and send it out to other moopy members. Do you have fast, nimble hands?

 

[OutSynk]

Do you have fast, nimble hands?

My Grindr profile <3

 

[Lucille]

I need a new houseboy, I'm willing to pay the LIVING WAGE (in Moldova), must be willing to be subject to daily bummings and occasional errands to JOHN LEWIS.

Must provide your own short shorts.

 

[Star]

I can chuck a bit of babysitting your way x

 

[Suomi]

I can chuck a bit of babysitting your way x

Which posters did you have in mind? I think some of them are teething

 

[ButterTart]

I need a research assistant for my ongoing medical project. You must have no unspent criminal convictions, and be comfortable with electrocuting sheep for science and fun.

 

[octophone]

Fuck my actual hat.

 

[lolly]

Fuck my actual hat.

What GCSEs do I need to apply for that?

 

[lolly]

who am I kidding?

Like I did GCSEs.

 

[Suomi]

I need a research assistant for my ongoing medical project. You must have no unspent criminal convictions, and be comfortable with electrocuting sheep for science and fun.

I’m afraid that there are several requirements of your advertisement that mean I cannot apply

 

[Suomi]

For 5 Likes a day I will deliver any message to any poster you like either anonymously or signed by you. Is there something you’ve always wanted to say to someone but never had the chance? I’m your Moopy mailman.

For 10 Likes a day I will create threads in moopy forums that you feel aren’t attended to. I’m your Moopy gardener.

For 25 Likes a day I will strategise to start an online argument that extends over a ten page thread. I’m your Moopy Events Organiser.

 

[ButterTart]

I’m afraid that there are several requirements of your advertisement that mean I cannot apply

Unspent convictions for electrocuting sheep are perfectly fine, if that helps?

 

[octophone]

Can we hire your beard? If so, what are your rates like?

 

[Suomi]

Can we hire your beard? If so, what are your rates like?

Hiring @Star is an absolute bargain - PM for details!

 

[lolly]

What services does she provide these days? Only I'm not being funny, but I've been to her house, and I can't say I think much of her level of domestic hygiene.

 

[Pipo]

I think @Christian is looking for a cleaner with GOOD TASTE in pillows actually