Moopyvision 2000-2009: Round 2 - Estonia, Germany & Poland RESULTS
- Thread starter Penelope
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Penelope
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4th: Sandra Oxenryd - Through My Window (163pts)
Kotkas, Laisaar and Paulus are the three-man songwriting dream team - the G:son & Boström, the Lennon & McCartney - behind much of Estonia in the early-mid 00s, being responsible for Runaway, Once In A Lifetime, and finally this Taylor Swift-foreshadowing power pop take on Does Your Mother Know?, that nabbed Shirley Clamp's foul aqua saran wrap dress to boot. Bring 'em back!
Sandra was the winner of the second series of Fame Factory in Sweden, but chose instead to spend that chip on getting the nod for Estonia rather than entering Melodifestivalen (why does the Sweden to Estonia pipeline of Eurovision entrants happen so curiously often? I'd have expected some kind of anti-imperialist backlash by now). Alas, between Carola, Tina Karol and Kate Ryan, the gays had other priorities in the Athens semi, leaving poor old Sandy to crash out in 18th with only the hushed whimpers of OGAE members to comfort her.
Sandra later released an album critically acclaimed by @Suomi and attempted to represent Poland in 2008, before being hunted for meat by Carola and never being heard from again
2 x 12 (Ill Advised, Pingu)
2 x 1 (Suomi, Tetris-Rock)
Kotkas, Laisaar and Paulus are the three-man songwriting dream team - the G:son & Boström, the Lennon & McCartney - behind much of Estonia in the early-mid 00s, being responsible for Runaway, Once In A Lifetime, and finally this Taylor Swift-foreshadowing power pop take on Does Your Mother Know?, that nabbed Shirley Clamp's foul aqua saran wrap dress to boot. Bring 'em back!
Sandra was the winner of the second series of Fame Factory in Sweden, but chose instead to spend that chip on getting the nod for Estonia rather than entering Melodifestivalen (why does the Sweden to Estonia pipeline of Eurovision entrants happen so curiously often? I'd have expected some kind of anti-imperialist backlash by now). Alas, between Carola, Tina Karol and Kate Ryan, the gays had other priorities in the Athens semi, leaving poor old Sandy to crash out in 18th with only the hushed whimpers of OGAE members to comfort her.
Sandra later released an album critically acclaimed by @Suomi and attempted to represent Poland in 2008, before being hunted for meat by Carola and never being heard from again
2 x 12 (Ill Advised, Pingu)
2 x 1 (Suomi, Tetris-Rock)
Last edited:
Diddy
愛してるって 言わなきゃ殺す
“Proto-Indo-European Dolly Style”! 
You went further than my internal monologue: Mediaeval Baebes but with Timotej
You went further than my internal monologue: Mediaeval Baebes but with Timotej
Diddy
愛してるって 言わなきゃ殺す
Oh did that boring green lady make the top 3? She clearly can’t see where’s the rainbow!
Penelope
Бангаранга
Why does every single picture on this YouTube still look like Laura Palmer from Twin Peaks
Penelope
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3rd: Ines - Once In A Lifetime (214pts)
I'll admit girls - I went into this thinking this was a limp load of old toss, having always been THOROUGHLY bewildered it came top five in Stockholm. Well GUESS WHAT MIMI
PICTURED: video absolutely not stolen from Suomi
This week has revealed to me that this was actually a Carly Rae-esque INSIDIOUS EARWORM the entire time (Kotkas, Laisaar & Paulus AT IT AGAIN!), filled with bags of little details - those strings from the middle eight onwards! the piano chords! that DECEPTIVELY big chorus! that FUCKING KEY CHANGE! - that have had it stuck in my mind from the moment I've woken up every single day this week. And it's testament to its power that it did so well while wedded to the most "go on girl give us nothing!" stage concept ever seen, with Ines and backing dancers doing absolute SOD ALL, stood stock still on stage in a cowboy hat (IT WAS 1999 LAST YEAR - EVERYONE WEARS COWBOY HATS YOU AIN’T SPECIAL), performing from 4th and COMING fourth.
Satellite's the only other entry I can think of that did things this basic and smashed the results anyway, and that already had being a pre-contest hit to thank for that. In conclusion, I don't believe that Ines is a cowgirl - I believe she is a WITCH
7 x 12 (Madison, ButterTart, Queen of the Bay, auretz, win_the_game, Broomhelga, David 5000)
2 x 3 (Tetris-Rock, Diddy)
I'll admit girls - I went into this thinking this was a limp load of old toss, having always been THOROUGHLY bewildered it came top five in Stockholm. Well GUESS WHAT MIMI
PICTURED: video absolutely not stolen from Suomi
This week has revealed to me that this was actually a Carly Rae-esque INSIDIOUS EARWORM the entire time (Kotkas, Laisaar & Paulus AT IT AGAIN!), filled with bags of little details - those strings from the middle eight onwards! the piano chords! that DECEPTIVELY big chorus! that FUCKING KEY CHANGE! - that have had it stuck in my mind from the moment I've woken up every single day this week. And it's testament to its power that it did so well while wedded to the most "go on girl give us nothing!" stage concept ever seen, with Ines and backing dancers doing absolute SOD ALL, stood stock still on stage in a cowboy hat (IT WAS 1999 LAST YEAR - EVERYONE WEARS COWBOY HATS YOU AIN’T SPECIAL), performing from 4th and COMING fourth.
Satellite's the only other entry I can think of that did things this basic and smashed the results anyway, and that already had being a pre-contest hit to thank for that. In conclusion, I don't believe that Ines is a cowgirl - I believe she is a WITCH
7 x 12 (Madison, ButterTart, Queen of the Bay, auretz, win_the_game, Broomhelga, David 5000)
2 x 3 (Tetris-Rock, Diddy)
win_the_game
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Ines was ROBBED
Penelope
Бангаранга
Just IMAGINE where she could've finished if she'd had a slot in the last five and done, well, ANYTHING in the performance
Efendi asks herself the same question (whilst measuring out her ingredients).
Penelope
Бангаранга
2nd: Sahlene - Runaway (222pts)
And so we come to Sahlene, the Swedish import who destroyed Gerlu Padar’s dreams with another Kotkas, Laisaar & Paulus midtempo banger that could've passed for a Shania worldwide hit in 2002. You can tell that Sahlene was sat down with a tape of Ines and ordered to do the exact opposite of her at all times before she was sent out onstage for this.
My good gay friend @Suomi once described the essence of this performance as being “You WILL vote for this!”, and it's an analytical concept for Eurovision which covers a lot of entries over time - an artist taking a basic song that's anything up to a 9/10 and giving it EVERYTHING, practically commanding viewers to vote for it by sheer force of will (and potentially putting off a few of them in the process). And indeed, you DID vote for this, with Runaway getting 8s and 10s across the board here and forcing its way to joint third in Tallinn - the last time to date that the host nation has made it to the top three.
Sahlene managed to get Sweden's 12 here but alas never managed to get their votes again, failing to make it out of the Melodifestivalen heats every single time she tried after this. A graduate of Brandy’s Driving School for Girls, the philosophy Sahlene spelled out in Runaway's bridge of “always driving through red lights babe!” later saw her get arrested and sentenced to death for mowing down 86 people in a truck in Nice
2 x 12 (Penelope, Jacques)
2 x 4 (Madison, Raining On Me)
And so we come to Sahlene, the Swedish import who destroyed Gerlu Padar’s dreams with another Kotkas, Laisaar & Paulus midtempo banger that could've passed for a Shania worldwide hit in 2002. You can tell that Sahlene was sat down with a tape of Ines and ordered to do the exact opposite of her at all times before she was sent out onstage for this.
My good gay friend @Suomi once described the essence of this performance as being “You WILL vote for this!”, and it's an analytical concept for Eurovision which covers a lot of entries over time - an artist taking a basic song that's anything up to a 9/10 and giving it EVERYTHING, practically commanding viewers to vote for it by sheer force of will (and potentially putting off a few of them in the process). And indeed, you DID vote for this, with Runaway getting 8s and 10s across the board here and forcing its way to joint third in Tallinn - the last time to date that the host nation has made it to the top three.
Sahlene managed to get Sweden's 12 here but alas never managed to get their votes again, failing to make it out of the Melodifestivalen heats every single time she tried after this. A graduate of Brandy’s Driving School for Girls, the philosophy Sahlene spelled out in Runaway's bridge of “always driving through red lights babe!” later saw her get arrested and sentenced to death for mowing down 86 people in a truck in Nice
2 x 12 (Penelope, Jacques)
2 x 4 (Madison, Raining On Me)
A
AGinAg (37)
Guest
I had no idea Sahlene was in ISIS.
Makes a world of sense.
Makes a world of sense.
A
AGinAg (37)
Guest
I'd love to have heard what the Islamic State would enter for Eurovision.
Penelope
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Penelope
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yes (DETAILS TO BE REVEALED IN DUE COURSE)
Tisch
DO IT FOR HER
Only 12 12's! I thought she'd walk this.
Suomi
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dmlaw
Democracy doesn't work
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I’d protest, but anything which gets me Lordi and Hanna in the final is OK by me.
Penelope
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I get it though - the show was so obviously expensive that Europe thought it would only be cruel to SVT to make them have to do it again
Suomi
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But it would have been so good to have the act who won the most 2009 Grammys to have also won Eurovision? Perrelli’s third album barely stayed in the US top 10 for a month and it would have helped sales along (yes i know Mitt Liv would later break any records)
Penelope
Бангаранга
1st: Urban Symphony - Rändajad (248pts)
What do you do the year after getting a shameful result with a fat middle aged man? It's a conundrum that challenges us with every passing day in the UK, so it's wise to look across to see what Estonia did when they faced the same problem. That answer was bringing in Eesti Laul, a selection more focused on sourcing talent, authentic representations of Estonian culture (with a rule on all Estonian songwriting teams), and songs that were good full stop rather than considered 'good for Eurovision'.
That led to the rise of the OTHER Lennon/McCartney figure of Estonia at Eurovision, Sven Lõhmus, who made up for the shame of Suntribe (which he'd penned) with this chilly, ethereal, MESMERING minor key wonder, which stood out like nobody's business in the glittering 2009 final and rewarded Estonia with a sixth place finish for its efforts off the bat after five years outside the final. Even my straight masc4masc schoolfriend who looked down on Eurovision downloaded this, in true testament to its MYSTIC APPEAL
The lead singer of this, Sandra Nurmsalu, has kept on kicking around in Estonia and turned up in Eesti Laul since - I can highly recommend Kui tuuled pöörduvad, her 2014 attempt, to all Rändajad fans (in studio NOT live)
Estonia was a close three-way race up until the votes received today - every single one of which gave 12 to Rändajad, giving Urban Symphony half of all the 12s from the 26 votes received this week (THANKS GIRLS!
) and sending it into the semi-finals with a resounding 26 point margin over Sahlene.
13 x 12 (Suomi, Soldi, Apocalypt Flyer, Ag, ZenGiraffe, Dark Carnival, VoR, Kratz, Tetris-Rock, Kevin, Raining On Me, Diddy, dmlaw)
1 x 4 (win_the_game)
What do you do the year after getting a shameful result with a fat middle aged man? It's a conundrum that challenges us with every passing day in the UK, so it's wise to look across to see what Estonia did when they faced the same problem. That answer was bringing in Eesti Laul, a selection more focused on sourcing talent, authentic representations of Estonian culture (with a rule on all Estonian songwriting teams), and songs that were good full stop rather than considered 'good for Eurovision'.
That led to the rise of the OTHER Lennon/McCartney figure of Estonia at Eurovision, Sven Lõhmus, who made up for the shame of Suntribe (which he'd penned) with this chilly, ethereal, MESMERING minor key wonder, which stood out like nobody's business in the glittering 2009 final and rewarded Estonia with a sixth place finish for its efforts off the bat after five years outside the final. Even my straight masc4masc schoolfriend who looked down on Eurovision downloaded this, in true testament to its MYSTIC APPEAL
The lead singer of this, Sandra Nurmsalu, has kept on kicking around in Estonia and turned up in Eesti Laul since - I can highly recommend Kui tuuled pöörduvad, her 2014 attempt, to all Rändajad fans (in studio NOT live)
Estonia was a close three-way race up until the votes received today - every single one of which gave 12 to Rändajad, giving Urban Symphony half of all the 12s from the 26 votes received this week (THANKS GIRLS!
) and sending it into the semi-finals with a resounding 26 point margin over Sahlene.13 x 12 (Suomi, Soldi, Apocalypt Flyer, Ag, ZenGiraffe, Dark Carnival, VoR, Kratz, Tetris-Rock, Kevin, Raining On Me, Diddy, dmlaw)
1 x 4 (win_the_game
)
Last edited:
Penelope
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A brief break now girls as I've YET TO EAT - but report BACK HERE AT 7 for GERMANY
Dark Carnival
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I would have been LIVID had this come second!
Dark Carnival
Serving cunt
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My second favourite Estonian entry. And my favourite ever on certain days.
Penelope
Бангаранга
10th: Max - Can’t Wait Until Tonight (54pts)
Don’t some images just say it all? This Jamie Cullum-aping dogcunt, replete with crowd-pandering chorus in Turkish (@Apocalypt Flyer was it in the national final version? If so THERE'S a hack I'm surprised we don't see more often for getting DER DEUTSCHE EUROTICKET) made its way to a requisite top ten finish in Istanbul, because sadly there is always an audience for this kind of thing out there. Everything about this and having to write about it is anathema to me, so shall we just see what we could’ve won (and which 2004 could’ve REALLY done with) instead from Germany this year?
So good it even managed to come top 50 in the UK. UTTER FUCKING PIGS!
1 x 12 (Queen of the Bay - u ok hun?)
10 x 0 (Suomi, Penelope, ButterTart, auretz, wurst, Tisch, Ill Advised, VoR, Kratz, David 5000)
Don’t some images just say it all? This Jamie Cullum-aping dogcunt, replete with crowd-pandering chorus in Turkish (@Apocalypt Flyer was it in the national final version? If so THERE'S a hack I'm surprised we don't see more often for getting DER DEUTSCHE EUROTICKET) made its way to a requisite top ten finish in Istanbul, because sadly there is always an audience for this kind of thing out there. Everything about this and having to write about it is anathema to me, so shall we just see what we could’ve won (and which 2004 could’ve REALLY done with) instead from Germany this year?
So good it even managed to come top 50 in the UK. UTTER FUCKING PIGS!
1 x 12 (Queen of the Bay - u ok hun?)
10 x 0 (Suomi, Penelope, ButterTart, auretz, wurst, Tisch, Ill Advised, VoR, Kratz, David 5000)
Penelope
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Babes you're about two steps away from throwing it up Dominic Cummings here.
Suomi
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1st: Urban Symphony - Rändajad (248pts)
What do you do the year after getting a shameful result with a fat middle aged man? It's a conundrum that challenges us with every passing day in the UK, so it's wise to look across to see what Estonia did when they faced the same problem. That answer was bringing in Eesti Laul, a selection more focused on sourcing talent, authentic representations of Estonian culture (with a rule on all Estonian songwriting teams), and songs that were good full stop rather than considered 'good for Eurovision'.
That led to the rise of the OTHER Lennon/McCartney figure of Estonia at Eurovision, Sven Lõhmus, who made up for the shame of Suntribe (which he'd penned) with this chilly, ethereal, MESMERING minor key wonder, which stood out like nobody's business in the glittering 2009 final and rewarded Estonia with a sixth place finish for its efforts off the bat after five years outside the final. Even my straight masc4masc schoolfriend who looked down on Eurovision downloaded this, in true testament to its MYSTIC APPEAL
The lead singer of this, Sandra Nurmsalu, has kept on kicking around in Estonia and turned up in Eesti Laul since - I can highly recommend Kui tuuled pöörduvad, her 2014 attempt, to all Rändajad fans (in studio NOT live)
Estonia was a close three-way race up until the votes received today - every single one of which gave 12 to Rändajad, giving Urban Symphony half of all the 26 votes received this week (THANKS GIRLS!
13 x 12 (Suomi, Soldi, Apocalypt Flyer, Ag, ZenGiraffe, Dark Carnival, VoR, Kratz, Tetris-Rock, Kevin, Raining On Me, Diddy, dmlaw)
1 x 4 (win_the_game
This is genuinely one of my fave songs of all time. Also a fave with my straight associates. It is like being transported to another time and plain, i cannot rave enough. What a shame that also 10/10s Sahlene and Ines had to face this whilst something German will just cruise through
Soldi
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He looks nothing LIKE Cummings??
Penelope
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9th: Roger Cicero - Frauen regier’n die Welt (65pts)
Posh n Becks-referencing swing filler about women ruling the world (I presume not a reference to the moment Victoria punched David in the face back at their chalet after he threw it up Rebecca Loos
) that terrifyingly won the backup jury vote in 2007. It’s not like we can say we weren’t warned of what they could wreak, is it.
Anyway, he’s dead now. Apoca saw fit to give this an 8 so I can sense some WORDS need having on here
1 x 10 (Kevin)
3 x 0 (win_the_game, ZenGiraffe, Raining On Me)
Posh n Becks-referencing swing filler about women ruling the world (I presume not a reference to the moment Victoria punched David in the face back at their chalet after he threw it up Rebecca Loos
) that terrifyingly won the backup jury vote in 2007. It’s not like we can say we weren’t warned of what they could wreak, is it.Anyway, he’s dead now. Apoca saw fit to give this an 8 so I can sense some WORDS need having on here
1 x 10 (Kevin)
3 x 0 (win_the_game, ZenGiraffe, Raining On Me)
Apoca
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Rändajad, Once In A Lifetime (STILL not on spotify) and Runaway are all solid GOLD. Having to settle for 8 points for one of them felt WRONG - especially looking at my 8 points for Deutschland and Poland 
As for your MAX MUTZKE question @Penelope - that just forced me to rewatch two performances of "Just Can't Wait Until Tonight", interrupting repeat number 573 of "Here Comes The Night". RUDE.
As for your MAX MUTZKE question @Penelope - that just forced me to rewatch two performances of "Just Can't Wait Until Tonight", interrupting repeat number 573 of "Here Comes The Night". RUDE.