Moopyvision 2000-2009: Round 2 - Estonia, Germany & Poland RESULTS (3 Viewers)

[VoR]

Correct victory for Estonia. Much as I love the Swedish imports, it wouldn't feel quite right for them to triumph.

No No Never is... fine, but I Can't Live Without Music is my favourite Eurovision train wreck ever. The riktus grins on the backing singers get me every time.

 

[ButterTart]

Run and Hide is a fantastic song, it was just a shame she delivered it as if she was smuggling lit sparklers in her vagina. See also: Disappear.

 

[AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAaaaA]

Oh Corinna May and Lou were such a two-point gut punch of absolute Eurovision camp HORROR and tat, that were also somehow absolutely amazing also

EVERYTHING, and I truly mean EVERYTHING about the Corinna May performance is wrong It really is an iconic disaster for the ages That she's a hardcore Christian who most likely DESPISES HOMOSEXUALITY just makes the whole thing even funnier for me.
Lest we forget we ALMOST got this STUNNING ballad with even more stunning vox for Germany a year previous



Also shout out to the gays that were sharing 'I Can't Live Without Music' as the "leak" of Madonna's Die Another Day I guess those TINNY OPENING DISCO STRINGS could possibly be mistaken for the wild drama of a Bond theme

 

[VoR]

Run & Hide just doesn't GO ANYWHERE.

 

[AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAaaaA]

Oh I sort of love Run And Hide also. That she just sort of WAILS the rather non-descript chorus "RUN AND HIIIIGGGHHHHPPPLUGH"

I'd expect it from Finland, but baffled how a country as big as GERMANY chose it Was the selection rigged that year as well as the CHARTS?

 

[VoR]

I Believe In God is an absolute HORROR SHOW

Her voice really has a very SU POLLARD quality when she goes into that rather unpleasant belting register.

 

[Madison]

The vocal similarities are eerie.

 

[Diddy]

I had forgotten Corinna was blind I guess she can live without silent movies

Was her stylist blind too?

 

[Marina Salty]

"In October 2006, the album Jetzt wie noch nie was released. Following this, she was released from her recording contract due to poor sales."
Why can't Wikipedia just say last album was released in 2006 full stop. Do they really need to humiliate her ad infinitum?

 

[Tisch]

Can not even Penny not bring himself to present to talk about Poland again?

 

[Soldi]

I would understand

 

[win_the_game]

@Penelope may as well skip Poland. We all know Isis Gee was the rightful and deserving winner anyway.

 

[OutSynk]

Just can't stop thinking about Gracia being banned from the charts

So were Vanilla Ninja. David Brandes was the manager and producer for both of them. VN stopped working with David after that but are now back together for their reunion comeback.

I’m actually wondering if they’re gonna try for Eesti Laul this year but the music has been pretty shit so far.

 

[Soldi]

 

[Penelope]

Who wants some Polish results?

YES I KNOW NOBODY WANTS SOME POLISH RESULTS

 

[Diddy]

Are you OK, dear sister Pen?

 

[Diddy]

One can only assume you were in a P-Hole

 

[Penelope]

Are you OK, dear sister Pen?

Have I EVER BEEN OK?

 

[Diddy]

Have I EVER BEEN OK?

You've been an OK antagonist on Moopy, but you are too likeable to be truly evil. You're like the Team Rocket of Moopy.

I guess that works because it looked like you were destroyed last week, but you just turn up again without any explanation

Time for the Lithiana results and ... Looks like Poison Pen's blasting off agaaaaaiiiinnn!

 

[Diddy]

It also makes sense because Team Rocket used poison types

This begs the question, are you Jessie or James, who is the other one, and who is Meowth?

 

[Penelope]

8th: Piasek - 2 Long (83pts)

Peppy, 80s daytime radio-flavoured nonsense with more than a passing nod to the works of Phil Collins (the HORROR!). This one wrongfooted me a little opening up with The Mamas' post-diabetic white understudies, before Piasek came swaggering on out in that utterly foul overcoat - blessedly quickly disposed of. One thing I couldn't quite bring myself to decide during all this is whether Piasek is actually something of a PIECE or not. Either way, Europe wasn't having any of it - 11 points and relegation for 2002 was all he got after waiting all that time

1 x 12 (@win_the_game)
6 x 0 (@AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAaaaA, @Ag, @ZenGiraffe, @VoR, @Pingu, @dmlaw)

 

[dmlaw]

Good. What a horrible thing.

 

[Penelope]

7th: Lidia Kopania - I Don't Wanna Leave (98pts)

Despite asking not to be made to leave, after much wailing, crying and shouts of "NAILS Lidia!", she was eventually forced to at the first opportunity by the voters of Europe.

Honestly imagine being called fucking 'Lidia' though

1 x 12 (@auretz)
1 x 0 (@Soldi)

 

[Penelope]

'Lidia'

 

[Penelope]

6th: Ivan & Delfin - Czarna dziewczyna (100pts)

One which had appeared on track for a much more respectable result throughout the voting, this tailed away a bit towards the end. Colour me surprised though, because to these ears it certainly stood out as something of a forgotten delight amid Poland's repertoire - and coming eleventh in 2005's beast of a 25-song single semi (ergo, almost certainly qualifying in the two-semi era), I'm surprised it's a vein they haven't dipped into more often since.

Anyway in the process of writing this up I've just looked up what it all actually means and omfg

Lead singer Ivan Komarenko sings of his love for a black-haired girl, implied to have gypsy ancestry, and calls for his horses to unite them rapidly. The remainder of the group join in at this point.

CALLS FOR HIS HORSES TO UNITE THEM RAPIDLY!!!

2 x 12 (@AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAaaaA, @Apocalypt Flyer)
3 x 0 (@David 5000, @Broomhelga, @auretz)

 

[Penelope]

NAR:

 

[AGinAg (37)]

NAR:

I mean fair enough, but that really is a lot of breathing in.

 

[Penelope]

5th: The Jet Set - Time To Party (107pts)

I remember at the time being mildly agog how much this seemed to just swipe every production preset from Fergie's seminal THE DUTCHESS (2006) album, but in retrospect, after years of being battered senseless by the likes of Tanja - Amazing and Basim - Cliché Love Song, this appears practically tasteful as rip-offs making their way to the Eurovision stage go, so I'll let it pass. Well, I say tasteful - about as tasteful as anything with that preview image can be under the circumstances

14th in the trial by earth, wind and fire that was 2007's near-unwatchable 28-song semi, this is another one that probably would've qualified in the two-semi era. Let us be thankful they've never revisited THIS vein though (or at least did so in much more fun4europe fashion with My słowianie if the assumed category here is 'SLAGS')

1 x 12 (@ZenGiraffe)
3 x 0 (@Suomi, @Kratz, @Diddy)

 

[Tisch]

1 x 12 (@ZenGiraffe)

Of course

 

[Penelope]

Of course

TZGB

 

[D5K]

Disgusted at Lidia's shoddy treatment here.

 

[ZenGiraffe]

Of course

TZGB

I HAVE A TYPE

 

[Penelope]

4th: Ich Troje - Keine Grenzen - Zadnych granic (111pts)

I'm sorry but every single one of you that gave this a 12 belongs on a list. Razor-blade voiced man with a radioactive neon dip dye doing a shit-eating peace ballad? I ASK YOU

3 x 12 (@ButterTart, @Soldi, @Broomhelga)
7 x 0 (@Penelope, @Queen of the Bay, @win_the_game, @Ill Advised, @Tetris-Rock, @Kevin, @Raining On Me)

 

[Soldi]

at fourth place still getting SEVEN zeroes

What a SHITSHOW Poland.

 

[dmlaw]

I have so many questions about Ich Troje, mostly involving the hair. It makes him look like the sort of really poorly conceived Fire Emblem character that you intentionally get killed at the earliest opportunity.

 

[Madison]

Does Penelope hate peace, pregnant women or both?

 

[Penelope]

3rd: Blue Café - Love Song (144pts)

God I love this UNLISTENABLE DRECK

Honking her way through a wall of phlegm like a Gremlin at cabaret, thousands of people across Europe have had their enjoyment of what seemed poised to be a beguiling little number inspired by the Lion King ruined by what is unquestionably one of the most hideous vocals ever to make it to the main stage of the Eurovision Song Contest.

Blue Café were apparently one of Poland's biggest acts prior to this - and still are now! However this has come entirely as a result of the band's own actions, with lead singer Tatiana Okupnik being asked to leave the year after they crashed to a 17th place finish in Istanbul. @VoR and I still keep the dream alive however, being known to honk out "SWEEEEDE SOOOHNG, LAAAAV SOOOOONG" during 2004 rewatches in countless years since

2 x 12 (@Queen of the Bay, @Kevin)
4 x 0 (@Madison, @ButterTart, @Apocalypt Flyer, @Tisch)

 

[Penelope]

Does Penelope hate peace, pregnant women or both?

Both

 

[Marina Salty]

4 x 0 (@Madison, @Tisch, @Apocalypt Flyer, @Tisch)

Tisch must really hate Blue Cafe

 

[Penelope]

2nd: Isis Gee - VoR's Life (177pts)

Where to BEGIN with this BREAST ON THE BONE NATURAL BEAUTY? The talk at the time was that our Isis looked too similar to that year's eventual winner Charlotte Perrelli to do well, but to these discerning eyes she looks a little more like Julia Davis doing a parody entry, or Sanna Nielsen left at Gas Mark 4.

Anyway, the real issue is that despite turning up with some truly HIGH GRADE basic bitch Disney balladry, barely anybody could understand the words - SOME ACHIEVEMENT from a woman who is genuinely a NATIVE ENGLISH speaker, but there we go Though frankly, how anybody could claim to be unable to understand the emotion of the below moment is beyond me - who hasn't got into a shower and experienced it going from freezing cold to burning hot in the space of five seconds?



Coming joint last in the 2008 TRIFECTA OF SHAME along with Andy Abraham and No Angela, Isis turned up again a few years later as a disco diva, before changing her name to Tamara (after terror group ISIS asked her to change her name so they would not be damaged by association)



6 x 12 (@Penelope, @Tisch, @Ag, @Ill Advised, @VoR, @Diddy)
1 x 1 (@David 5000)