Moopyvision 2010-2019 Round 12: Albania, Belgium & Spain (1 Viewer)

[Penelope]

I know. One a week everything goes dark and all I can smell is Amyl Nitrate. When I regain consciousness I discover I've given twelve points to ANOTHER woman with a shouty pop song.

But was it Amanecer or Quedate conmigo this week?

 

[ButterTart]

I mean for heaven's sake - you've voted in every round and taken to watching OLD EUROVISIONS TWICE-WEEKLY

Yeah IRONICALLY.

 

[Penelope]

Yeah IRONICALLY.

Yeah THAT'S WHAT I SAID WHEN I FIRST TOOK IT UP THE SHITTER TOO

 

[Dark Carnival]

I know. One a week everything goes dark and all I can smell is Amyl Nitrate. When I regain consciousness I discover I've given twelve points to ANOTHER woman with a shouty pop song.

And enjoy every minute of it

 

[Dark Carnival]

Yeah THAT'S WHAT I SAID WHEN I FIRST TOOK IT UP THE SHITTER TOO

 

[ButterTart]

But was it Amanecer or Quedate conmigo this week?

It's an embarrassment of riches. Amanecer said that Manchester looks like the back of a fridge so I'd go for Pastora on the grounds that she's not a complete bitch.

 

[Dark Carnival]

Come on VoR the suspense is killing me

 

[Penelope]

Amanecer said that Manchester looks like the back of a fridge

It DOES!

 

[ButterTart]

It DOES!

MAFIA SCUM

 

[Dark Carnival]

Amanecer said that Manchester looks like the back of a fridge so I'd go for Pastora on the grounds that she's not a complete bitch.

Can I change my 12 to Edurne?

 

[ButterTart]

Has my overpowering heterosexuality scared VoR away?

 

[dmlaw]

I think he wants you to chase him.

 

[VoR]

2nd: Edurne - Amanecer (165pts)

Much as I would have liked it to come down to Pastora vs Ruth for the full Alla meltdown experience*, I have to admit this probably is Spain's second-best actual effort at Eurovision this decade, even if that is rather faint praise.

Why didn't the public warm to lovely Edurne? Watching back, I really think the hideous Viennese camera angles played a huge role in bringing her down. It's more mood music than catchy pop song, so the staging really has to take you on a journey. In the broadcast, the cuts are actually ridiculous, particularly the big moment when she sheds her Red Riding Hood cloak and steps into the light, when the camera inexplicably decides to go wide so you can see the stagehand awkwardly dashing offstage with the remains of her frock

Muscle guy really is a blink and you'll miss him moment too, for all the attention he got on here. Good idea, poor execution. You really have to feel for her when she flubs the crucial last note too - she was doing really well up until that point!

4 x 12 (Kalabaliken, Penelope, Raining on Me, Tischlampe)
1 x 2 (Alla)

*although it seems he hates Edurne EVEN MORE

1st: Pastora Soler - Quedate Conmigo (215pts)

For all Spain's many failings, they really got everything right in 2012. A big star with a genuinely career-defining song, Quedate Conmigo may have only just scraped the top ten in Baku, but if Pastora's live albums are anything to go by it remains a beloved staple of her back catalogue, and it's certainly an all-time fan favourite in Euroloon circles.

It is, of course, all about the final minute, particularly but not limited to that spine-chilling money note. Imagine having to go on after that! It is a bit of a shame they didn't let her hair down, as the visage was just a touch on the harsh side, and I must admit I've never had much luck getting the casuals warmed up to this one, but I think we can all agree she was the MORAL runner-up of 2012, and ultimately she's still alive and by the end of Coronavirus all of those Russian Grannies will surely be dead, so I guess what I'm saying is that the arc of history generally curves towards justice.

12 x 12 (VoR, Pingu, Buttertart, Kevin7, David_5000, Madison, Dark Carnival, wurst, dmlaw, Alla, Ag, sewerynsven)
1 x 4 (Raining on Me)

 

[Penelope]

Has my overpowering heterosexuality scared VoR away?

Darl on those grounds I think LIBERACE would've scared VoR away

 

[Dark Carnival]

ultimately she's still alive and by the end of Coronavirus all of those Russian Grannies will surely be dead, so I guess what I'm saying is that the arc of history generally curves towards justice.

OMG

 

[Dark Carnival]

Shall we have it in action, girls?

I literally SCREAMED

 

[Penelope]

FUN FACT: The straight man who I was watching Eurovision 2015 with, who I eventually pissed off with my PERSISTENT HETEROPHOBIA (), voted for Edurne on the basis that she looked "a bit like if Britney had never fallen apart", which has always warmed me to her since.

I imagine there is zero chance in hell her beautiful dancer doesn't have a chemsex habit on the side, from that FUGUE STARE mid-performance (and his 2017 well wishes to "my friend Imri Ziv" )

 

[Dark Carnival]

FUN FACT: The straight man who I was watching Eurovision 2015 with, who I eventually pissed off with my PERSISTENT HETEROPHOBIA (), voted for Edurne on the basis that she looked "a bit like if Britney had never fallen apart", which has always warmed me to her since.

I imagine there is no chance in hell her beautiful dancer doesn't have a chemsex habit on the side, from that FUGUE STARE mid-performance (and his 2017 well wishes to "my friend Imri Ziv" )

Oh my God, I was OBSESSED with Guiseppe for a while after Eurovision

 

[ButterTart]

ultimately she's still alive and by the end of Coronavirus all of those Russian Grannies will surely be dead

It's only just dawned on me the sheer scale of the injustice of those Russian cunts coming second.

I do have a lot of time for Amanecer, especially the bit where she moves the Sun across the sky using only the powers of her mind and a lighting technician, but Quedate Conmigo is one of the easiest winners of any country so far. Sure, Pastora has the look of a deleted League of Gentlemen sketch where Tubbs wins a makeover, and if that bun were any tighter she'd have been wearing her tits as goggles, but I think the brutal presentation weirdly added to the overall power of the song.

 

[Penelope]

I do have a lot of time for Amanecer, especially the bit where she moves the Sun across the sky using only the powers of her mind and a lighting technician, but Quedate Conmigo is one of the easiest winners of any country so far. Sure, Pastora has the look of a deleted League of Gentlemen sketch where Tubbs wins a makeover, and if that bun were any tighter she'd have been wearing her tits as goggles, but I think the brutal presentation weirdly added to the overall power of the song.

This paragraph!

 

[Dark Carnival]

I imagine there is zero chance in hell her beautiful dancer doesn't have a chemsex habit on the side, from that FUGUE STARE mid-performance (and his 2017 well wishes to "my friend Imri Ziv" )

Oh and she's OBVIOUSLY the sort that never misses the Tel Aviv pride!

 

[ButterTart]

I'm away to bed as I have to get up for WORK in a bit. Hopefully I'll dream of sexy ladies like Cherie Lunghi and Chingiz in a frock, and I'll think of a butch topic I can start on here to piece together the tattered shreds of my once proud and uncomplicated heterosexuality.

 

[Dark Carnival]

Yeah, I have to be at work tomorrow too and it's 1:32 here!

 

[Dark Carnival]

Thanks VoR!

 

[Penelope]

TA VoiR

 

[Raining on Me]

Oh the walk of shame when everyone's dishing out 12s to the winner and your lowest score sits underneath their torn arses (no more so than @ButterTart's )

I like Pastora, but then I actually like most of Spain and to be honest I don't think I gave her the credit she deserved in my quick recap as I haven't heard it for years.

However it clearly didn't matter and my heart, my devotion and my 12 would ALWAYS have been Edurne's which is everything I adore about a Eurovision entry: Spain does intense, dramatic new-age balladry with a captivating woman and staging at the centre of it. It's failure is a grim injustice but she can wail to me while ripping off red riding hood outfits all the live long day if she fancies it

 

[Raining on Me]

And yes, thank you VoR for tonight's offering again!

 

[ButterTart]

Belated thanks to VoR. It's no mean feat to not only sit through that Belgian selection, but to also conjure an opinion on them.

 

[Beverley]

Oh the walk of shame when everyone's dishing out 12s to the winner and your lowest score sits underneath their torn arses (no more so than @ButterTart's )

I like Pastora, but then I actually like most of Spain and to be honest I don't think I gave her the credit she deserved in my quick recap as I haven't heard it for years.

Gurl, you showed your ass and it was SHITTY! Quedate Conmigo is one of the best songs of ALL TIME!

 

[AGinAg (37)]

I haven't had Blanche OFF since last night.

I've been playing City Lights too

 

[win_the_game]

Gurl, you showed your ass and it was SHITTY! Quedate Conmigo is one of the best songs of ALL TIME!

That’s quite a claim to be making Ms Bev.

 

[Beverley]

IKR! I'm still obsessed with it after all these years. One of the few songs (and performances) to stand up to repeated playing.

 

[Suomi]

I think it’s great that people are as passionate about Pastora as Pastora is, but I’d put it more in the category of To Nie Ja! (Poland 94) in that it’s a very competently sung belter rather than a particularly special and classic ballad like Je Ne Que Mon Âme (France 01) or Se På Mig (Sweden 95)

 

[ButterTart]

IKR! I'm still obsessed with it after all these years. One of the few songs (and performances) to stand up to repeated playing.

Yeah, when Spain get it right, they get it really fucking right. Pastora, Edurne and Miki are among my absolute favourites this century.

 

[Raining on Me]

Gurl, you showed your ass and it was SHITTY! Quedate Conmigo is one of the best songs of ALL TIME!

Oh alright, it can have cinq points instead.

(I've just listened again giving full concentration this time and yes it's a belter but, money note aside - admittedly spectacular - I don't LOVE it. I did underscore it though. Soz)

I prefer A Million Voices as far as generic, ageless hollering ballads go.

 

[D5K]

La Venda was great and I was excited about it before the contest; there was just something about the changes from the national final performance to Tel Aviv that sucked all of the joy out of it.

 

[Kala]

I have always felt the same. Pastora is fucking amazing. But the song isn’t that really anything special. It’s fine for what it is. But she was lucky she came top 10 with it thanks to the juries who voted on her vocal performance.

 

[ButterTart]

La Venda was great and I was excited about it before the contest; there was just something about the changes from the national final performance to Tel Aviv that sucked all of the joy out of it.

The controlled chaos of the NF performance really elevated it, I’d much rather they’d have sent it in that form than in the one they eventually went with.

 

[ButterTart]

That said, it was only when I was in Sweden and saw an armada of Spanish gays forming a CONGA MINCE to it that I realised what a fucking balls to the wall banger it actually is.

 

[ButterTart]

It's an embarrassment of riches. Amanecer said that Manchester looks like the back of a fridge so I'd go for Pastora on the grounds that she's not a complete bitch.

I've only just realised I called her Amanecer when her name is actually Edern (sp?). I apologise for any offence I may have caused to the Manchester-hating old bastard.